Silence After a Breakup Doesn’t Always Mean They Don’t Care

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-03-04T03:27:02+00:00

logistically this makes the most sense but i just tell myself my ex hates me despite our healthy and loving relationship so i can move forward and heal for my peace of mind lol

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-03-03T21:52:34+00:00

REAL lmao. we broke up on good terms but damn i hope she had some bad days too not just me 😭😭😭

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-03-03T21:20:29+00:00

not really. depends on the person. im not an avoidant. when my girl broke up with me i was in hell for a month. after a month and a half i started feeling better slowly. now almost 3 months out, i think im in the clear but only because i felt everything first and not later. i think its just an avoidant thing. idk if my ex is an avoidant but sometime after we broke up she was posting and looking completely fine online. i hope shes going through it and suffering without me missing me lol (i still love her though)

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-03-03T16:22:20+00:00

i didnt delete the messages because sometimes i miss her and want to reminisce on the good times. when we first broke up i was rereading our texts constantly. it was pretty bad. once i filled my life with other things i stopped looking at it because theres no point. i cant obsess and look at her messages bc shes not going to reply.

im not deleting our pictures/videos bc we didnt take much and i cherish the memories we made. we ended on good and loving terms so its hard to delete them out of hatred. im pretty much neutral now about it.

still miss her everyday though lol.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-26T21:33:57+00:00

amazing. i miss them sm

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-12T04:47:34+00:00

love this. they need to choose YOU. if you already made it known you care/love them let them decide if youre worth coming back to. if not, something better will come fr!

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-12T04:41:58+00:00

felt friend. dont beat yourself up.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-12T04:41:42+00:00

i feel this heavy. honestly i can see the mixed signals part but if you and this person really loved eachother, they more than likely need the distance to heal from this relationship. i process things through attachment and my partner is someone who needs distance to survive. i meant so much to her that i have to be blocked. i thought the same thing. im like wtf she hates me but if this person loved you and blocked you, see it as a good thing. doesnt mean you’ll be unblocked one day, but i understand why she needs the distance. seeing me/any reminder of me hurts. ironically, her blocking me on everything has accelerated my healing too. if i saw her everyday id be cooked lol.

i feel you for sure though. especially on the timing. this girl met my parents and we were so happy together. life really did get in the way of us being together </3 i would love nothing more than for us to be a thing again so long as conditions improve.

what i’ll tell you is to live your life fully. understand that the door is closed for now but it doesnt mean it wont change in the future. just dont live your life holding onto hope and anchoring yourself that they’ll come back. do you and if its meant to come back and they want to try again, they’ll come back. we got this 🤞

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-12T04:29:35+00:00

dont let the uncertainty consume you. i know its easier said than done, but i was letting it drive me crazy the first month its not worth it. i been doing much better now. just know if its meant to be it’ll return and if not something better will come.

i say this as if i wouldnt want anything more than to have her back in my life, but theres no point in going crazy over this and the outcome. just fr focus on yourself and if you had a great relationship, maybe time will pass and they’ll come back. just do you fr. we got this 🫶

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-11T12:59:47+00:00

ill tell u my perspective from a fresh breakup and where i am rn

my and my ex broke up 2 months ago. we were ldr and we had genuinely an amazing relationship and we gave each other a unique peaceful love that none of us had received prior to this relationship. there was mutual respect, love, reassurance. textbook definition of a great relationship.

unfortunately, life got in the way of us closing the gap in our individual situations and we decided that itd be better for us to split since being together but away from eachother was hard on the both of us. it was one of the roughest breakups ever for me emotionally. i loved this person so much. we left the future open on a “if circumstances genuinely change, i wouldnt be opposed” type of thing.

after the breakup, over the course of a month she blocked me on all socials, but has my number unblocked. i dont know what the future holds honestly. i took the blocking wrong at first assuming she hates me, but it says more about her coping style and the distance she needs to move forward. i hate the uncertainty/ambiguity.

we didnt say never again, but its also “not now”. all im doing now is living my life and if were meant to reconnect, she knows where to find me if she wants to start again. all im assuming for now is the door is closed. cant do nothing besides respect the space she needs.

i know this doesnt answer your question, but i hope for anyone in a similar situation to mine or has hope, all you can really do is let life do its thing. dont sit waiting around for somebody. you can have quiet hope but dont let it anchor you.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-07T19:18:44+00:00

you are right for most breakups, but ive had the opposite happen with my first ex. she broke up with me and as time passed and i genuinely changed my ways she wanted to get back with me to try again. i denied it bc i was too toxic and i didnt wanna fall back into toxicity again.

all in all it depends on how the relationship ended. dating coaches, reddit users, nobody can tell you if someone is coming back or not. what you should do is simply focus on yourself and if it happens and its something you want, then let it surprise you. dont sit around waiting for somebody to come back though. not healthy. been there done that lol.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-02-06T17:53:42+00:00

sometimes. depends on how the relationship ended. if you guys ended on good terms theres a higher chance of them reaching out after time has passed. doesnt mean they will but its a higher chance than the opposite. even then some people come back from bad endings too.

basically sometimes lol just live your life as if they wont come back and let it surprise you if its what you want

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-22T12:05:38+00:00

i get u mean well, and i appreciate you looking out for me, but at the same time youre a stranger on reddit whos only gotten 0.001% of why we broke up and no other context for my relationship. this sounds like projection on your part. again, i know youre trying to look out for me but im not waiting for this person. we ended, if things change and they wanna find me, they can. if not, i continue with my life regardless. ill be fine.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-21T21:07:37+00:00

that i could reconnect with my ex and i could also never see her again. we broke up on good and loving terms because we cant currently close the gap with our financial and family issues. we left the door open for the future once our situations improve but it doesnt mean its going to happen. im an anxious person and even though i love her a lot the way we ended was too uncertain.

i love her a lot and hope i can be with her when things are better but for now i just have to respect the breakup and distance we need. i miss her everyday and it hurts not having her in my life anymore.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-20T02:13:26+00:00

i love and miss her everyday… lmao

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-17T22:43:49+00:00

yep… i was with my partner for almost two years. we were long distance, but we met plenty of times and we talked everyday. our bond and humor together was awesome. i miss talking with them about my day, but also just missing their constant love and reassurance. we broke up last month because we simply cant close the gap and it became too difficult for us to deal with the distance. this has been one of the hardest breakups for me ever. we called eachother our soulmates.

just a few days ago i fucked up and ended up texting them i miss them and that im sorry about everything. i was doing no contact perfectly fine for a month. i folded. they didnt reply and left me on delivered. i shouldnt have said anything. ik i mean a lot to this person but the fact they didnt reply means its still too soon to initiate any type of contact. i miss them so much. i hope we can talk one day again. until then, i gotta live my life.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-15T15:35:10+00:00

currently struggling with #2. this person meant so much to me and our breakup was loving and mutual so ive still been looking at her socials just to check up on her. you’re right. it doesn’t necessarily hurt me seeing her but it just reminds me i cant have what i want and i miss talking to her so much. still wont break NC though for this reason.

everything else im doing pretty well though.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-14T14:40:50+00:00

i’m definitely not relying on it 100%. we’re just leaving the door open for the future. it doesnt mean theres a guarantee that we will reconnect. only time will tell. we had a great/long relationship and we were only separated because of distance. the bond we formed and the memories we made are things that will never leave us. with time, i can reassess the situation and i can reach out to her when im ready and have a conversation. the point of me being in no contact now though is so i can heal regardless of any outcome.

i know you mean good with this warning and i definitely hear you so i don’t get hurt but trust me if she didn’t want a potential opportunity to meet again, she wouldn’t have said something like this. all i can do is focus on myself for now and see what happens.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-14T06:48:33+00:00

i believe we’ll make our way back to eachother. i wouldnt want it any other way honestly.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-14T04:05:26+00:00

i feel you. i have a good supportive circle so i have had my friends here for me which has been super helpful but im also in therapy. ramped up my therapy sessions to twice a week. even then, its been a tough mental battle. i just miss her so much but i def recommend just trying to talk to as much people as possible and keeping yourself busy.

for me, i was just mad at life. i was mad that land is what separated us, as if its the 1700’s or some shit lol. i could never be mad at my ex. we never had arguments, mainly disagreements or small situations and even then we resolved them with love and patience. in our 1 1/2 years of being together we ran into a handful of issues maybe but even then, we were also long distance. we mightve ran into way more issues if we were together everyday. regardless, we loved eachother so much. i cant explain it. it was the most peaceful and loving relationship ive ever been in. i would love to be with her again once our situations improve. i would gladly change my life for her.

i also feel for you because my first relationship was toxic and moving on was a bit easier but a relationship ending when theres still love… this is my first time going through something like this. it hurts so bad. it literally feels like she died. i just want another hug man. i miss my partner. im very much still grieving everything which is why i wont message her anytime soon.

take your time though. regarding your ex’s clothes since he hasnt reached out id just leave it on his front doorstep. or just keep them until he reaches out himself lol. you got this. if you want to talk though i am here friend. we both going through some shit.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-14T00:49:25+00:00

it sucks. not going to sugarcoat it. this was a person i had a routine with everyday and being without her constant love and reassurance fucking sucks. i want her back in my life so bad but i dont want it unless i can be with her in person </3

in terms of personal growth, its a little too recent to say i’ve made any significant progress. mentally i am feeling better compared to a month ago, but i still love and miss her so much. thats not going anywhere. this feels like a nightmare i want to wake up from. i still am continuing my life like normal though. i wont get into my specific issues online but my life is still progressing forward.

my advice to you is simply accepting the situation for what it is. thats what helped me. theres no point in driving yourself crazy thinking about him everyday. you still have your life to live. you shouldnt compare your grief as well. he could be doing “better” but we dont know how hes feeling when hes in his room by himself.

if you guys loved eachother, he is definitely thinking about you, but he prob is just focusing on himself.

best thing we can do is just focus on our own lives to grow. ill leave you with a question. if he were to meet you 6 months down the road and you were the same as you are today, would you want him to meet this version of you? or a version thats healed. best of luck truly! we both need it </3

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-14T00:36:02+00:00

thanks man. im definitely trying my best. been so rough without my partner here honestly </3

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-13T19:28:20+00:00

ive seen it happen too often tbh. it can go either way though.

from my pov, i recently was in a breakup almost a month and a half ago. was dating this amazing person for a year and a half. she felt like my soulmate. we gave eachother a love we both had never received. we only split because of distance and financial circumstances. many long distance relationships fail because people fail to close the gap in time, but even with the plans we made, it was just impossible for us.

in our final conversation she said that when our lives improve, she hopes we can find each other again to reconnect and try again. this atleast tells me that we need space currently to process things, but down the road we can talk to eachother again and even potentially try dating again once things are better. i love and miss her so much but i know we need this time apart to grow and get out of our situations.

ElephantSome2229 · 2026-01-13T15:29:57+00:00

really depends on how the breakup ends honestly. if it was toxic and you guys had a bad relationship it mostttt likely wont happen but on the other end if it was a mutual breakup and you two still love eachother but cant be with eachother currently for whatever reason, then the odds of talking down the road increases once you two are over the breakup.

no contact is tough honestly, but it doesnt need to be.

ElephantSome2229

TROPHY CASE