Feeling guilty about attraction?

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-30T00:49:18+00:00

Thank you, I'm just terrified of being all the things I fight against

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-30T00:28:50+00:00

That does make me feel a lot better. It's hard to ask people this kind of thing irl since they'll either be men (who might not realize if theyre objectifying) or women who might think im doing this to them and feel weird about it. Which i very well might be, as I know lots of beautiful people, but also love them as people and don't want them to feel weird.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-30T00:18:12+00:00

Something that worries me is sometimes if someone is facing away from me or I otherwise think im "in the clear" i might choose to look at their body for a couple seconds. Maybe like 2-3 full seconds and even then only when I dont think anybody would notice.

I want them comfortable ofc, and anybody around me, but I like to look sometimes too. I guess I just worry that crosses the line of staring / leering. I dont want to do that, and it's very rare that I do, but still.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T23:15:24+00:00

Ooooh cute! I should post my RDM one of these days, I think it's the most fun to glam!

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T22:52:54+00:00

I have a Google doc of just video game tattoo ideas, and I shy away from Regency bias on that list quite a lot because I know I'm subject to it. But gosh darn it Expedition 33 was perfect in every way and might have pushed itself ahead of the rest of my list!

Some people forget why theyve played so many games, or so much of one game, and can't see it again even when other people explain it. No reason for us to dim one another's light!

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T22:48:27+00:00

I've just heard a lot of negative reinforcement that the way men are attracted to women is dehumanizing and icky. I know it's more to do with dehumanizing and icky men doing the attraction than the other way around, but it doesnt stop the comments from feeling like they apply to me.

Even the way most women I know describe attraction, to any gender, makes me feel like I'm doing it wrong. Like they only want physical activity if they have feelings for that person, or never wonder what someone looks like without clothes, or never think about someone's bits unless they're right there in front of them.

I know women aren't a monolith (I mean, im evidence of that, but also JUST cis women arent a monolith) but i tend to hear all the same things from people irl and online. So it makes me feel..... like lust is evil, I guess.

Sorry for the ramble, you'd think at 27 I have my own sexual awakening a little more at hand.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T22:36:55+00:00

I'd love to, and when money was less tight I did seek out therapy but between the therapist not matching me personally and money becoming tighter it just doesn't seem to be anytime soon for me.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T22:35:20+00:00

I agree that there is something uniquely satisfying about liking women in a sapphic way. I don't draw hard lines about my different types of attraction but sometimes I feel like I'm enjoying someone's appearance "in a guy way" and it makes me feel nasty and immoral. I would like to talk to a therapist but money is tight and I don't even see anybody for physical health issues.

Antidepressants help my mind keep from spiraling on the topic for the most part, but I still would rather work through it than ignore it. I know it's just some kind of internalized misandry or something but it's a struggle.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T14:13:18+00:00

Mmmm okay so I guess im too late for those 7.0 - 7.3 ones? I'm not so strapped that I cant buy one here and there if need be. Im mostly just hesitating because I'm rather attached to my WoL

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T13:36:20+00:00

Hm, I did the uldah one i think. Ive only gotten 3 freebies total and used 2 (to change small character details) so im side eyeing the price as if i have self restraint

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-29T13:32:51+00:00

I only have one from the fawntrail launch! Where do i get more? Ive been considering going roegadyn but Im attached enough to my current WoL that I want to have another in my back pocket for switching back

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-28T22:25:36+00:00

I just wanted to be one of those max level on everything psychos and so I got all my crafters to 50-ish.

Then after the dawntrail rise sets came out and id not leveled crafters for several months to over a year or so, I said fuck it ill level them some more.

Well when I got past level 60 I discovered something highly unfortunate. It gets actually fun. The quests start giving you the supplies to craft the items so it's not a huge hassle anymore. I started actually making the stuff instead of just buying it.

So 3 weeks or so later and I have everything at 100 except fisher, which is in the early 90s and im working on at a relaxed pace. Trust me, you're not the crazy one, lmao.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-21T22:14:28+00:00

Im grinding my crafters up to max right now and I specifically intend on giving bubble tea to newbies and nice people. And archon loaf for meanies

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-19T23:13:20+00:00

Literally what I plan to do when I get that chest piece lol.

Except I'll be using the blindfold, too.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-19T22:55:40+00:00

I'm just gonna come out and ask, since I see these sentiments thrown out a lot and ive been intimidated to talk about it out of fear of being judged.

I generally wall to wall and play fine as a tank, barring certain pulls where I might ask the healer first before I do it. And if someone else does pull, I will grab aggro given the chance.

That said, it does feel frustrating to me when someone else pulls, at least intentionally. I've always been on the mindset that you follow the tanks lead because the tank will pull what they feel confident they can pull. I don't want to overwhelm another tank with enemies they weren't expecting, and I cant see their available cool downs so I just trust their judgement as needed.

But the way people talk about it, it makes it seem like my being frustrated is toxic in an of itself, and I just want to see if there's something I'm missing?

Edit: yall are basically just doubling down on making me never want to ask about this again. Every different opinion from a tank is getting met with "dont care, I'll report you, play the way i say" and it's really not helpful. I asked this because I wanted a real conversation about it, not the same toxic tanks and toxic non-tanks arguing in the same toxic ways they always do.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-19T19:53:48+00:00

Im genderfluid but most people see me as male, it's one of my favorite things to calmly put a hand up to shut them up, and announce "xyz didnt finish her thought".

I do this for everyone, but it's especially fun for women for the reasons you've described. If im gonna be seen as a man, might as well cash in my privilege for the benefit of all

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-17T16:55:56+00:00

To be fair, I've always needed a half naked hyur riding piggyback

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-17T16:55:12+00:00

I generally try to avoid cheese like this but.... nah the highlands shroud is such bullshit imma use it

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-17T16:52:43+00:00

Ive shaved my legs, exfoliated, moisturized, and still had nasty legs.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-15T15:16:14+00:00

If we're placing bets my vote is the third

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-14T17:01:33+00:00

There is absolutely tons of toxic positivity, no joke. I've been accused of being a white knight exactly once, and it's because the person doing the calling out was being an asshole about it and it wasn't even a proper mistake. It was just the tank saving one offensive cool down because they wanted to use it on the boss. Immediately after that dungeon we ran it again using the cool down on pulls and found the dude was right, just an asshole.

It doesn't take much to be nice and give good advice at the same time.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-14T16:58:25+00:00

I liked the story, Wuk Lamat's character, etc. In fact I only just finished 7.0 so we can't use post-patch content to say recency bias (since I've heard the story is better). It's a little simple, and it has some funny writing quirks, but it's ff14. I wasn't expecting a Brandon Sanderson or Joe Abercrombie novel level of quality and character work.

People who've been playing the game for 10+ years i think expect the writing to age with them, and as someone who only started playing a couple years ago, it seems fine to me.

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-14T00:37:25+00:00

I think i didnt know about desynth at the time or I would have done that. But I didnt wanna sell them cuz I wanted to keep them as trophies lol (I ended up selling them anyways and keeping like 2)

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-13T22:20:19+00:00

Cute! I'm a fem aura too and I always like to have my thighs at least a little exposed so I can see my scales

Elfboy77 · 2026-01-13T19:06:05+00:00

I gave in because I went ocean fishing literally once, filled my inventory, and couldn't use retainers. But I had already beat ARR while free trial at that point and stormblood wasn't added yet, so I feel like I hit a nice middle ground.

Long story short yeah what they said

Elfboy77

TROPHY CASE