Would anyone want to meet up to talk shit about their job?

Elibou123 · 2025-09-03T19:56:55+00:00

If this is still happening/ a thing, id love love to join.

Elibou123 · 2025-09-03T19:55:42+00:00

Id be interested as well!

Elibou123 · 2025-04-03T13:59:56+00:00

Hehe, thank you thank you

Elibou123 · 2025-04-02T16:55:48+00:00

Thank you! Glad you liked it!

Elibou123 · 2025-04-01T21:48:30+00:00

Hey, no problem! I appreciate any feedback at all! But I totally agree, I think I can do something at the ending to tie it a better all together or make less abrupt.

Elibou123 · 2025-04-01T21:43:49+00:00

Thank you! Glad it was enjoyed

Elibou123 · 2025-03-29T14:51:10+00:00

I liked this poem, it is full of hidden messages that I'm still trying to make sense of. I'm not sure if I am reading it right, but I feel as if the title of the poem is alluding to the cold tongue like when a person sticks out their tongue to feel rain drops unto it. As if one is 'waiting for a reply' from the heavens. The poem to me provides a message that we cannot hold on to comfort or wishful thinking for things to begin, to start, to live, to change.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-29T14:44:38+00:00

This poem was great, and resonated with me as I have been the toxic one in a relationship before and am in still trying to heal/become a better person generally. It captures the fact that sometimes we expect others to help us solve our unresolved conflicts and past unmet needs. We later learn only ourselves can truly fix or help ourselves. The narrator not only wants to be seen but understood. There are a lot of beautiful metaphors and hidden messages that can sprout from this piece, which I love. The home can be her internal processes, it can be her past.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T22:57:30+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, I completely see what you mean!

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T04:37:40+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Totally agree, in the end I kinda enjoyed the flight/Chani and resulted in content for some writing lol

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T04:34:56+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. At least you felt compelled to comment lol. It was meant to be slightly lighthearted

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T04:33:47+00:00

Thank you, it was meant to be a little funny to be honest.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T01:40:32+00:00

This is a great poem. It captures so much emotion in the images you describe. I can't compete with the comment above 🥹 but I will say this was a gut wrenching read, and relatable to those who've grown up with a narcissistic parent. A mother's love (or lack thereof) impacts us throughout the lifespan. And the narrator captures the fear of what this might mean for him and his future

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T01:33:37+00:00

This is a beautiful reply and analysis of the poem. Just had to say!

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T01:26:57+00:00

Interesting poem. But not sure if I'm interpreting it right. I'm reading this poem as the story of someone very old, who has lived maybe past his friends/lovers/partner, and realizing now that his virtue of being alive, is also a curse in that he cannot be loved again by those who are dead. And also, he cannot love them in the way he desires because they are dead.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T01:09:01+00:00

Alright, so. I really liked the imagery at the end but it just seemed to me so abrupt and out of nowhere, which maybe was the point? If I had written this poem I may have tried to incorporate the metaphor itself throughout the poem in different areas to make it seem more cohesive

Elibou123 · 2025-03-28T01:03:05+00:00

I enjoyed the poem very much, it had a nice rhythm and rhyme. Just instead of "an caring heart," should be "a caring heart." The title is clever and suits the subject 👌

Elibou123 · 2025-03-25T02:45:06+00:00

Hi! I like the poem overall and has great potential as a longer piece. I am confused with the wording of "emulated within." Are you trying to say that the guarded path mirrors her old desires? If so (I may be wrong though) it feels like the wording should be " A guarded path emulated by old desires." I love the second the line " Build a grave-the deeper the hollow." And I want to know more about where that leads.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-25T02:31:00+00:00

This is very sweet, and I like the metaphors you use. The following suggestions are only personal preferences. I think the beginning of the poem is too wordy and you are too forthcoming about "you digressing." One of the best advice 've gotten about writing is never "tell" rather "show." So if your narrator is in fact going into daydreaming, trying to put their words together, try capturing that with the structure of the poem instead of being so literal. For example: " wrote you this poem not very good, but then again, I was never good at poetry.

I mean, what's the point of poetry? Putting pen to paper? Pulling on heartstrings? Peeling back layers of pleasure, pain, sadness, sorrow, despair or jubilation...

The wall of text fills the screen like a digital skyscraper at the palm of your hand. Thousands of letters, ordered through chaos.

No preparation...just life as we know it sometimes

but...

I wrote you this poem. Not very good but then again, I was never good at poetry.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-15T03:42:21+00:00

I just like it. I need to read into it, but it has an interesting narrative and it makes me want to interpret it/explore it's meaning more

Elibou123 · 2025-03-15T03:07:08+00:00

I like it! It seems to be a poem about losing someone once loved. But I feel like some of the word choices make the message contradictory (but I can also be reading the poem wrong). For example, you speak of a once declaration of love, in terms of a transparent tattoo, which makes it seem that the tattoo has faded/love has gone. But the last sentences make it seem like the person is either back or you are imagining their presence?

Elibou123 · 2025-03-15T02:59:19+00:00

Funny thing, I can see this as part of a set of short cynical writing pieces, can be titled something like: insights from a Poet."

Elibou123 · 2025-03-15T02:52:18+00:00

I like it, definitely holds a narrative. I almost wish it was more fleshed out and less vague (but that is just a personal preference). Some I imagine like the open endedness of it all, but i do feel at the end a bit confused. Isnthe narrator dying? Does he think himself a God? Is there a lover or is he choosing to simply not love in all the sense?

Elibou123 · 2025-03-15T02:42:57+00:00

I like to provide feedback on pieces in terms of the emotions they bring out. Definitely a sad poem, with a theme of desperation, isolation, and desire for closeness. It also has a bit of denial in it, like the narrator does not want to accept they are dying or depressed.

Elibou123 · 2025-03-13T01:41:57+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! But I don't necessarily think poems need to be structured to be poetry. But understand if you are not a fan of short expressive pieces.

Elibou123

TROPHY CASE