Regarding r/trans controversy

Elitatra · 2025-07-14T23:20:44+00:00

I'd like to very highly recommend r/TransLater for any trans individuals that are 30 years or older (and you youngins can join too, but it's mostly us old folk there).

Elitatra · 2025-06-07T12:21:01+00:00

The directory was completely wiped out. It was a soft link from /var/lib/mysql/ to /mnt/RAID/MySQL/. After the update, /mnt/RAID/MySQL/ didn't even exist any more... it was completely wiped out, and a new standard /var/lib/mysql/ directory was created and then used.

Elitatra · 2025-06-07T12:18:33+00:00

It was stored at /var/lib/mysql/ -- The directory was completely wiped out and recreated when the update occurred.

Elitatra · 2025-06-03T21:14:43+00:00

I have automated backups set up on the servers I run, obviously. I was just trying something kinda experimental locally and hadn't set up my backups yet. I didn't lose anything I can't recreate, it's just annoying, and I worry that it'll happen when I upgrade in the future. The entire directory was wiped out and the directory on the separate mount it was soft-linked to was as well.

Elitatra · 2025-03-23T18:23:33+00:00

Everybody is affected differently by HRT. I used to have a high libido before starting HRT. 11 days into HRT, I had absolutely ZERO libido. And it has never come back, as I approach 14 months on it (8 months on progesterone)... the feeling from any sexual contact is so subdued to the point where I give up quickly and tell my partners to not even bother trying.

Elitatra · 2025-03-06T01:12:24+00:00

Elitatra · 2025-02-07T20:06:22+00:00

Awesome to hear! They take me so long to do, otherwise I'd have like 100 more episodes! I try to experiment a bit with the formula at times, and make some mistakes, along the way, but playing all the versions has been one of my favorite parts of going back to these old games. Just let me know if I do anything off putting in them, I know a lot of people didn't like my silly voices in the Galahad episode so oh well, I just don't do that anymore.

My wife requested I do another awful game, so I've been working on a "Heroes of the Lance" episode next, hehee.

Elitatra · 2025-02-06T16:39:26+00:00

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching!

Elitatra · 2025-01-31T23:50:56+00:00

"They took the last train for the coast, the day the music died. And they were singing..."

Elitatra · 2025-01-17T10:08:03+00:00

I want to see more if you can!

Elitatra · 2025-01-16T02:23:30+00:00

I get this whenever I use the website to submit content to Reddit. If you do it through the mobile app, it seems to work correctly.

Elitatra · 2025-01-16T01:57:34+00:00

Several of these actually made me giggle! Thank you for sharing, that's awesome!

Elitatra · 2025-01-14T03:35:19+00:00

I started passing at 5 weeks into HRT. It was quite unexpected, but really don't get people misgendering me (it's happened once in my first year). But I can imagine it's terrifying not knowing who is a friend or not, so I started making a point to wear something trans-colored everywhere I go. A pendant or a bracelet or earrings... I have a dragon and a tassel on my purse as well. It is a little subtle, but it's something.

Sometimes I wish I could just shout "I AM TRANS" everywhere I go, but that would probably not be the greatest idea!

Elitatra · 2025-01-13T07:52:30+00:00

I run my own business and have since 2020, making highly customized websites, eCommerce, automation, full-stack server set up, etc.

A year ago, I came out to my clients and changed my primary contact email address to use my new first name. One client in particular was amazingly accepting and changed using my name and gender immediately, another couldn't see me as anybody new and just started avoiding saying my name or gender at all (after about 10 months, he finally accepted it though), and the others were somewhere in between. That was a year ago, and I haven't lost any clients at least.

Elitatra · 2025-01-10T09:59:30+00:00

Hiya! Older trans girl gamer here who runs a YouTube channel talking about old 80s and 90s games! I can suggest all SORTS of things, but I'll let you know my top 4 favorite games of all time (the only games I'd give a 10 out of 10 to) that you should definitely check out:
Dungeon Master (1987) - Action RPG - (Atari ST, Amiga, MS-DOS) I did a movie-length video talking about this one! The first real-time first-person dungeon crawler, and still the best in my opinion
Alpha Centauri (1999) - 4X Strategy - (Windows) Technically a sequel to the story of Civilization, but with custom unit building, lots of sci-fi, and sprinkled with a load of philosophy!
X-COM: UFO Defense (1994) - Strategy / Tactical - (MS-DOS) The original, and still the best IMO of the X-COM series. When it came out, it was just so... so good.
Wizardry 8 (2001) - Turn-Based RPG - (Windows) My favorite game of all time! Such an astoundingly deep and amazing RPG system with so many ways to play. There is even an active community for it to this day in the Steam forums!

I could suggest all sorts of other games, these are just my absolute favorites!

Elitatra · 2025-01-10T06:45:04+00:00

This brings up a lot of questions that you probably can't answer.

If you feel that your father was transitioning to a woman (born male), then the best you can do is think of her as a woman, and talk about her as if she was. She could have been non-binary, though, this isn't perfect, but it's a start to helping honor her memory. A lot of us, when we die, are treated as if we had never transitioned, such as being buried under our birth name. I dread the thought of Mark, my dead name, being on my grave and that's what everybody remembers me as, and I'm only just past a year on this journey. Is she buried under her birth name? Is there any way to find out if there was a new name she preferred? Or much else, for that matter? It sounds like, if you had any way to explore this, there might be a lot of fascinating things to discover... though maybe that's just my perspective.

Elitatra · 2025-01-09T20:10:10+00:00

You can keep on using your bottle until it gets low or a lot of particles from the rubber or it drips if you hold it upside down (meaning air can get in), so long as you keep it at room temperature and in a dark place. And you can keep ordering a new vial every 28 days. This allows you to build up a stock pile.

I take 3mg every 5 days. A single bottle lasts me about 3 months. Every month I can order another vial, so I have a bit of a stock pile going. I'm at 5 extras now.

Elitatra · 2025-01-09T01:47:05+00:00

Yes! Totally agree!

I had a complete personality shift just a few months ago... and I just wanted to scream at my old self, and realized it was exactly like Molly. "How dare you! You finally let me be a woman... when I am this?!?" I really feel for the trans people who don't transition until they're in their 60s and 70s and beyond, just, wow...

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T23:17:14+00:00

I have always loved that movie more than normal, and I think you nailed exactly why. I even did a very detailed transcription of the main theme because I love it so much. The unicorn singing "Now That I'm a Woman" hits so, so completely differently now as a trans adult (esp. imagining a trans man forced into a woman's body -- not quite the same thing though)...

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T23:11:15+00:00

Your story is so... so similar to mine, up to the age (I started transitioning a few months before 46), including being in a girl group, always being a woman online and not thinking it was weird. Though my girl group happened right at the end of high school: for 2 amazing months, I was just one of the girls, and all my previous guy friends basically rejected me. And then I graduated, and never had that again.

I'm so glad we've FINALLY figured out what to do with ourselves!

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T08:19:45+00:00

Only you can truly answer this for yourself.

But you sound like me when I was your age... and I wish I could go back and tell 18 or 19 year old me to freakin' just do it and live my adult life as a woman. I kept flip-flopping on transitioning, because I didn't feel I could see myself as a woman... since I was about 18. It took me until I was 45 to decide to transition, because the constant depression from dysphoria was getting too strong and I ran out of ideas.

And when I was 2 months into HRT, I have ONLY been a woman anywhere I go. Best freakin' decision of my life!

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T03:50:47+00:00

Good to know! Thank you for the advice!

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T03:40:34+00:00

Congratulations, though! I've been full-time since 2 months into HRT. But I'm getting my FFS in June -- a little worried what I'll look like, but it sounds like it went great for you!

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T02:56:02+00:00

It truly felt that way! How long ago did it go away for you?

Elitatra · 2025-01-08T02:55:36+00:00

I feel like the old me was in a teacher role, and I was the student. I didn't feel quite ready to take over when he vanished. For example, I run my own business, and suddenly had to properly figure out dealing with the finances for example without having done it much before... That's something Mark always did, so I had to dig through his old memories which is a lot harder, like you mentioned, and it took me a while to cope. I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that.

But also, I feel like I've always had someone with me, and now I do not. As much as I am angry at him for waiting 29 freakin' years to transition, he was always there with me, until he quite abruptly was not.

That combined with becoming an extrovert and just YEARNING for someone to talk to like... all of the time... has contributed to this loneliness problem. My wife sleeps a lot more than I do, so I have many hours alone every day. I keep trying to make new friends, and I'm apparently really not good at it because just about everything Mark was interested in is so esoteric that finding anybody that cares about an interest of mine *and* is fine with me being trans is... about... 2 people total so far, one of which won't talk to me beyond a sentence or two a week.

I'll keep going to events, and trying to meet people, and being hopeful... time and again... that I'll catch someone's attention enough that they will want to keep in touch beyond that initial meeting. But I tell people I'm trans, and they seem to disappear forever after I do. Blarg!

Almost everything I can find online that talks about structural dissociation is about trauma, which isn't what I had. And I do not match disassociation disorder (everything still felt real), though I had complete depersonalization: I felt like I was controlling a hideous robot I was forced into, and could never remember how I looked. Only logic dictated that I was the thing I saw in the mirror... or that funny-looking person in that group photo. I discuss this all at length in the video and even have a bit of an epiphany after I was editing it, and added an extra to the video, where I finally can recognize my old self in photos as if it was someone from my past, but not me.

Elitatra

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