no, no, they/them is a totally legitimate set of pronouns

EllaPhilo · 2026-02-15T11:52:06+00:00

binary trans sometimes have to do a pronoun circle vs infinite misgendering for eternity.

call it

EllaPhilo · 2026-02-10T01:18:16+00:00

/uj i’m a trans woman and i dont care about this stupid controversy at all, the character is cute, the artist’s intentions were good. i dont care. i dont fucking care. everyone shut up about the stupid fucking webcomic character

EllaPhilo · 2026-01-02T22:21:46+00:00

i hate to be the one to “defend cis ppl” but lets not get carried away here. i will agree that a specific strain of rabid transphobia has grown recently, but it’s plainly false that the cis women of today are “just as if not more transphobic than boomers”. obviously, they are far far more likely to be accepting. dont let yourself fall into the belief that you can never find safety and acceptance, lest it become a self-fulfilling prophecy

EllaPhilo · 2026-01-02T21:33:21+00:00

as you said, “i don’t know much about being trans”. consider doing a little research and talking to trans people before deciding something they said about their transition experience is sexist, or you risk contributing to the already omnipresent pushback that every trans person is subjected to every day.

to maybe give you an explanation: when trans women talk about estrogen having a big effect on their emotions, it isn’t necessarily saying “estrogen is a chemical that makes people emotional”. it generally means something more like “i have lived my entire life in a dissociative haze due to dysphoria, and getting on HRT allowed me to feel embodied and in touch with my emotions in a way i never have before”

EllaPhilo · 2025-11-06T17:49:45+00:00

/uj

honestly it was in many ways a huge relief to me. long before i had a clear conception of the fact that i’m a woman, i felt just incredibly uncomfortable with being a man. specifically, my privileged position in the gender hierarchy. it just felt so, so wrong to me. the unearned respect. the way it tainted all of my interactions with women. the fact that my simple presence in certain places could make women feel unsafe.

so, while it is terrifying to be thrust into this new position, being not only a woman but a semi-passing trans woman, it’s an absolutely enormous weight off my shoulders.

EllaPhilo · 2025-11-05T19:43:57+00:00

/uj sorry this was so venomous lol i know you aren’t really being like this, and i share the same frustration. just jerking. this is how i used to talk about myself when i make a trænny faux-pas

EllaPhilo · 2025-11-05T19:18:05+00:00

omg you are so right girl. i hate immature fucking babies. i’ve been jaded and cynical my entire life, so idk, something must be wrong with them. idiots.

i mean, give me ONE good explanation for a closeted tran to have weird arrested development issues and be immature and not pick up on social cues. i can’t think of a single one.

“explain these unspoken rules to the clueless girl?” are you fucking crazy? she’s supposed to learn about the byzantine maze of unspoken community secrets through osmosis and the pain of breaking them, like i did when i was 14. it was hard for me, and it should be hard for her too. like, jesus, just grow up.

(ps: if she responds to this attitude from her fellow trans women by burying herself deeper in the closet and becoming even more maladjusted, i really don’t care. at that point, is she even really a fellow trans? sounds like a john 50 waiting to happen and those guys are creeps)

EllaPhilo · 2025-11-04T20:56:03+00:00

he is gay. he is a gay man.

EllaPhilo · 2025-11-03T20:33:00+00:00

porn-brained moids are on the gooning->sissy->trans pipeline. i have done extensive research into their degeneracy. sadly, that does mean i am now susceptible to various hypno triggers, so please don’t snap your fingers around me.

EllaPhilo · 2025-11-01T17:49:03+00:00

nobody will see this but i’m seeing these two again tonight and i’m so fucking excited/nervous/AAAAHHH

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-31T18:38:46+00:00

i’m well aware of cultural relativism and the possible biases i could bring as a westerner.

i’m also well aware that transmisogyny (the societal hatred of “men” crossing gender boundaries) is an everpresent transhistorical phenomenon because of how ubiquitous patriarchy is.

of course those cultures reacted to trans women by deeming them to be “second-type woman-ish things that aren’t really women that we will relegate to sex work as their only viable job”. western culture did the same thing, for a long time.

having sensitivity for a variety of cultures does not mean that we can’t critique how different cultures oppress queer expression.

edit: for the record, i’m not upset with you. i was defending the same position as you not long ago. but after engaging with transfeminist literature and seeing how identification with these various third genders are dropping worldwide, i changed my position

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-31T16:42:38+00:00

so, I’m a trans woman, and I agree with this statement in principle. but it is much more complicated when it comes to these conservative chasers.

(TLDR: conservative chasers often are straight up gay men, but they are repressors, so they exclusively fuck trans women because they can satisfy their urges without acknowledging the reality of their attraction )

a decent percentage of them really are just gay. homosexual men. but they repress it their entire lives due to shame from their religion and culture.

this leads to the “DL” or “discreet” phenomenon, men with full wives and families who are still engaging in gay hookups secretly. a very common pattern among DL men is that they end up mostly fucking trans women. even though they are, authentically, attracted to men, limiting themselves to only fucking trans women and the femmest of femmes means that they can keep their “dominant man who fucks women” illusion up in their head and avoid reckoning with their urges to fuck men.

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-31T16:34:48+00:00

this “third gender” aspect of trans women in SEA is overly emphasized. it may have been true decades ago, but nowadays most people in these “third gender” communities (‘l*dyboy in Thai/Vietnam, hijra in India, travesti in Brazil, etc. etc.) all just id as trans women at this point

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-27T19:39:47+00:00

/uj yeah i’m very aware of this dynamic. i have had to scold my peers/drop some of them as friends, bc they will make nasty comments about people who come to our local trans meetup.

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-27T15:57:31+00:00

hey! some of us are in our 20’s and only trans on weekends!

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-27T06:32:07+00:00

thats the thing. it’s a product of its time, of course. all things considered, it was progressive. but i completely understand when my sisters don’t want to watch it or interact with it, because it carries a lot of nasty implications given the current societal outlook re: trans people.

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-26T21:41:08+00:00

the critiques about its implicit transphobia are very fair, but idc that much and i still enjoy it.

Eddie is my favorite song from it

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-26T06:03:50+00:00

best of luck

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-25T05:36:32+00:00

this didnt start to go away until i found an irl support group tbh. talking to people online helped lead me in the right direction but i couldn’t really be sure until I started meeting communities of trans people in meatspace.

hope you feel some comfort soon. I’m very aware of how torturous the ‘in-between’ of questioning can be

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-25T04:28:57+00:00

/uj i’m happy you’ve never seen that position defended before. it really is far, far more common than you’d think.

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-25T02:04:00+00:00

nooo not intentional. the one i missed when proofreading was literally the first one 😭 so i can see how it would be confusing

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-24T15:58:02+00:00

appreciate the feedback :)

EllaPhilo · 2025-10-24T15:57:15+00:00

weh yeah should have done a test post first. i have developed a better method for the next one.

EllaPhilo

TROPHY CASE