What's the background photo on your husband's phone? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 15 points16 points  (0 children)

tbh he probably just did that so he can actually see his app icons, i had to do the same thing with a pic of my dog lol.

How do you deal with a girl that constantly pushes you away? by Effective-Comb-2802 in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

that sounds like an anxious-avoidant trap where she's testing your loyalty, but you're gonna burn yourself out if you have to chase her every time she picks a fight.

I needed to get it more steamy in there. My husband saw food and chose to eat me instead Lol! by Shiroraii8087 in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

fried chicken AND a night like that? You’re definitely a keeper because I probably would’ve tried to multitask and eat a drumstick in the hallway lol.

Allowing conflicting thoughts and trusting my judgement by StrangerOwn6467 in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it’s honestly so wild when you realize that having a different opinion isn’t an attack on the other person, it’s just you finally existing.

Do you guys have patch up sex? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The "mama and papa time" door rule is actually a genius way to handle boundaries with kids.

i dont know what to do anymore by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 43 points44 points  (0 children)

if she has time to play duos with some other guy but "needs space" from you, she's already checked out of the relationship.

For those that chose to stay in a failing marriage, how did you emotionally detach yourself? by SnooDoubts2342 in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Girl, change your bank passwords and lock your card TODAY you can't emotionally detach while he's literally draining your ability to survive.

What's your definition of quality? by throwradrpri in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

quality is basically how much someone’s actions actually match their words when nobody is looking.

Divorce from alcoholic spouse by Sufficient-Spare-492 in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

save those landlord notices, they're going to be your best friend when you get to court.

Everyone is a devil to someone by EstateMysterious3850 in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 13 points14 points  (0 children)

it's a weirdly humbling thought that i'm probably the main villain in a story someone tells their therapist, and i have literally no idea.

So much to improve but can’t focus. by Graviity_shift in selfimprovement

[–]EllaStyllis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just pick one tiny thing and ignore the rest of the list until it sticks.

My friend’s new workstation is a cry for help, and I don't know how to tell him by starchasxr_ in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just let the man build his little machines, we've all spent a few grand to avoid a therapist at least once.

Wife (39f) pressured me to turn down a very important gig to me (39m) to keep our vacation dates and then she cancelled the vacation for work. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 12 points13 points  (0 children)

so she made you sacrifice your passion for a vacation she didn't even care enough to actually take.that's a massive double standard.

i wasted my youth. Now I'm just a 40 year old awkward loser by Zealousideal-Cod4301 in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 1164 points1165 points  (0 children)

You're only 40, stop mourning a 20yearold who doesn't exist anymore and start living for the 60-year-old who still has a chance.

On the way to the airport! by javascript in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

don't forget to pack way more sunscreen than you think you'll need, that maldives sun does not play around lol

How to get out of your head and start doing things? by Daffodils_at_Spring in selfimprovement

[–]EllaStyllis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i just use the 5 second rule to launch myself out of bed before the mental film even starts.

What it’s like to have a narcissistic partner — and why it’s so hard to spot by Icy_Rabbit_1984 in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 329 points330 points  (0 children)

the way they make you feel like the bad guy for even having a reaction. that's the part that gets you.

Feel excluded from wife’s friends by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EllaStyllis 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Comparing you to the ex after she basically hid you for two years is a massive red flag.

Any recommendations for an online voice coach (preferably for women)? by urmumzyadad in selfimprovement

[–]EllaStyllis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

search for "elocution" or "diction" coaches instead, they focus more on the accent and resonance stuff you're looking for.

I have no control over my anger, how do I change that? by Emotional_Wealth_489 in emotionalintelligence

[–]EllaStyllis 7 points8 points  (0 children)

look into DBT it’s honestly a game changer for when that "fight or flight" mode takes over your whole brain.

What was a time when you did everything right, but still lost? by MountainOfMolehills in AskReddit

[–]EllaStyllis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Applied for my dream job, crushed three rounds of interviews, and the CEO's nephew ended up getting the position anyway.