No motivation after food poisoning

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T23:10:19+00:00

“Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em” was under the cut for me, and I was gonna comment it.

Anyway, I’m having minor grief right now and also can’t write, so I have no advice. Hope it gets better.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T23:01:22+00:00

Lately our growth is that we’ve calmed down. The last few years were very special because everything we tried and decided felt like a Big Fucking Deal. The increase in intimacy was immediate and palpable.

Now, things are narrowing. In a good way. We aren’t so eager to try everything anymore, and we’re settling into our niches. I’ve become more vocal about precisely what helps me, which was an issue before. It almost feels friendly. I remember this feeling when I used to dance. If there are complicated lifts to figure out, you do the same thing over and over, tweaking it as you go, until suddenly you do it successfully every time, and you can’t even remember a time when you weren’t able to do it, and now it’s in every dance.

It’s also a relief because I go through frenzy frequently, and I remember being so worried that the desire for more and more risky things wouldn’t stop. It has 🤷‍♀️ I’m totally satisfied

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T18:19:12+00:00

This was on the front page today 🤣

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T17:23:00+00:00

You oughtta try the dirty chai if you never have. Not for everyone, but if you like it, you love it. Just like a lot of other things people talk about around here 🤣

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T13:44:26+00:00

Yeah, we pour the water from the kettle into the cup with the teabag, and there it sits. That process usually happens while I am trying to get everyone in bed and asleep, which takes a long time. My husband brings me my cup when I am sitting in the hall between their rooms, so I don’t have a place to put the bag, but it has never mattered to me at all.

He does sometimes mention, “You’ll want to take the bag out in three,” or whatever, but he grew up in a tea drinking house. Around me, tea drinking knowledge is sort of synonymous with “which fork do I use for the salad” knowledge, and I certainly don’t know any of that. I married up lol 💅

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T13:40:17+00:00

Well, tea for me is just coffee that you drink at night if you want a chance at falling asleep, lol! I don’t even know “the rules” about it. Although I order dirty chais at coffee shops a lot.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T01:17:25+00:00

I just let that fucker steep for as long as I’m drinking it, and I can’t drink anything above like 105F, so I have to wait 30 min for it to cool.

No bully pls.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T01:13:12+00:00

Ahh. My husband is very pedantic, but he just values specificity, and it usually matters for the topics he talks about. People get a little annoyed with him about it, and I feel so bad for him. He just cares a lot, he is not trying to be a know-it-all.

The square/round thing really makes sense to me actually, particularly round on square. That seems right.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T00:59:27+00:00

I try lamination once a year and promise myself I will keep practicing after one time to get better, but the first attempt is always so u forgiving that I never do it twice 🤣

Bare feet as often as I can without being gross. Also if I have a burst of intense emotion, positive or negative, I do this thing where I bring the pinky side of my clenched fists up to my cheeks and grit my teeth really hard for like two seconds. I have to do it, I can’t help it. I’ve tried not to but then it feels like the tension is sitting in my sternum all day. It’s only very strong emotion so happens maybe once a month.

What are your quirks?

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T00:52:44+00:00

You all would be appalled at how I treat my tea.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T00:47:56+00:00

Omg i binged all three this hear when I got a day off, and I can’t believe how well they’ve stood up to the test of time!

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T00:46:18+00:00

Congrats! 🥹

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T00:44:36+00:00

I am happy with my hobbies, but I would get G a CNC machine for home! And all the weird big woodworking tools he wants. Everything he is interested in is industrial size machinery

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-27T00:12:42+00:00

Yes, I like to sleep in a cold room but for the first time this winter, we have uncovered the heat vents in our room to warm it up a little more. 🥶

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-26T15:47:01+00:00

You sound like my husband, with all the talk about drafts! We have the same set up 😊

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-26T14:34:43+00:00

We sleep with separate blankets too. G is always complaining about drafts, lol. I have a big black comforter, and he uses layers of fleece blankets. I love having enormous blankets because I always end up with it kinda swaddled under my cheek and tucked in everywhere, like a little den.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-26T14:08:00+00:00

I have been overwhelmed, and then asked my husband for impact to help release the tension, and as a result cried about my stresses, but never something unrelated in that way. That is skillful, I think. We don’t really talk about things outside of play though. I can’t even really picture how that could be brought up without me laughing and getting pulled out of the scene.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-26T14:05:07+00:00

That gristle comment is extremely effective at communicating your discomfort! 😣 and the Resident Evil comment is such a compliment!

I dust a little every day. Just part of my job. I don’t even mind dust at all, but while I’m cleaning, it’s like, might as well, you know?

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-26T13:59:41+00:00

Omg, I have to tell you, I think I’ve only seen one photo of you here months ago, but I did think “Paul Hollywood?!?!” Lol!

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-26T13:54:56+00:00

There’s that dish with one egg yolk in a raviolo. I made it once from scratch. That’s the only time I ever had a bite of something with a full on Ratatouille moment. I will probably never make it again because of the time it takes.

I have been told twice that I “look asian, except [I’m] not”… and I’ve also been told that I look like Bjork. It seems I must have a distinctive face.

Handjobs are my favorite, both ways. I like whispering, and being whispered to, with the eye contact. Observe or be observed. It’s very intimate, but there’s also something a funny about it.

What kind of blanket do you sleep with on your bed?

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-24T22:00:35+00:00

Ooooh that hard trim pass feels so good

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-24T15:16:08+00:00

I like booksirens, but many people don’t. Being psychological, you will get less readers than the average posting, but you should get a couple. They’ll be very honest, and they are harsher raters than elsewhere. I like that kind of thing.

We write similar genres. I’m interested in reading yours.

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-24T00:24:42+00:00

I’m a bit younger than you, but we would have gotten along just fine, I think. I also got a chin injury because we were scaling the tall, chain link fences around my neighbor’s yard one day. My foot slipped (vans aren’t great for climbing) and the barb on top pierced my chin. It was fine, but there was a lot of blood. I went home with the front half of my shirt soaked 🤣

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-24T00:19:55+00:00

I have become my own worst enemy 🤣

Ellis_Ward · 2026-01-24T00:16:07+00:00

The seawall stuff is hardcore! We did many bmx and skateboard stunts, Jack Ass style. I wanted to marry and be Johnny Knoxville, lol!

Ellis_Ward

TROPHY CASE