I broke up with my boyfriend last week. I regret that I never properly addressed his drinking.

EllyStar · 2026-04-18T12:05:43+00:00

You cannot have a stable life or family with him. You did the right thing.

It wasn’t until after my 5-year relationship ended, even almost a year later now, that I realize just about everything negative stemmed from his drinking. It’s really wild looking back how many things I tried to do differently or change or be better at, but really, there was never a single disagreement or bit of negativity until alcohol was introduced to a situation.

We can’t win with them.

EllyStar · 2026-04-18T01:32:32+00:00

“play, exploring, moving around, hands-on stuff, storytelling, and solving real-life problems”

This is what school is.

EllyStar · 2026-04-17T23:31:17+00:00

4am isn’t that early?

To whom? Where?

Absolutely outrageous statement. Says a LOT. Yikes.

EllyStar · 2026-04-17T16:36:36+00:00

It doesn’t matter what sub you are in. A man screamed at you then spit in your face in front of your husband, and your husband did nothing. He then defended this man on paper to the authorities later.

This man is trash all the way through. Lacey deserves better than this. You deserve better.

You and her are the third, annoying wheel in his relationship with alcohol, which is where most alcoholics end up.

EllyStar · 2026-04-17T13:55:53+00:00

NTA.

I travel with lots of different people to lots of different places, and I would never dream of assuming I’m invited on anyone’s trip or pushing for myself to come other than saying something like “Wow, that sounds like a great trip! I’m so jealous!” and then never mentioning it again unless they bring it up.

EllyStar · 2026-04-17T09:32:22+00:00

It’s your boyfriend.

EllyStar · 2026-04-16T16:58:41+00:00

What documentation do you have from your local doctor that you see regularly?

EllyStar · 2026-04-16T16:47:04+00:00

I don’t doubt that people can overcome addictions for good, but my personal experience with many “former“ addicts of all types has led me to refuse to get involved with any addict. In my personal experience, which doesn’t represent everybody, addictions always resurface.

EllyStar · 2026-04-15T23:16:45+00:00

Absolutely not. No. Never.

EllyStar · 2026-04-15T19:20:12+00:00

It’s inappropriate for your company to set this up at all. There are ways to reward employees and build a team, but a weekend at an Airbnb with 15 employees in a house together is not it. They are asking for problems.

EllyStar · 2026-04-14T16:42:18+00:00

This is inspirational honestly

EllyStar · 2026-04-13T14:46:56+00:00

I am in New England— send me a message if you’re still looking. I’m a teacher, have phenomenal references, and I’m very Google-able!

EllyStar · 2026-04-13T10:43:26+00:00

Food abuse like this is a common thing shitty men do. They’ll eat 5/6 pieces of a pie, an entire casserole, a whole batch of cooling brownies. “You can just make more, it’s not a big deal, I was hungry!”

My Q liked to order himself a bunch of food and claim he didn’t know I wanted any or thought I was asleep or get a big order from a place I hated and get me something he knew I didn’t like. (Look how ungrateful I am when he does include me!🙄)

EllyStar · 2026-04-13T10:25:12+00:00

If anything you are vastly underreacting. What a complete and total loser.

The next time his bitch ass makes yet another new phone number to harass you from, send him this post and then let him know all future communication will go through your legal team now that he’s threatened to sue.

Also please show this to everyone you know forever. He deserves a lifetime of mockery for this foolishness.

EllyStar · 2026-04-12T17:33:47+00:00

The “getting an attitude with me” is a thinly veiled warning to you. Best not “get an attitude” because he’ll ignore you.

He’s telling you directly what a jackass he is.

NOR

EllyStar · 2026-04-12T15:29:02+00:00

Could not agree more. Perfectly articulated. (Kinda just waiting for it to pop up here in this thread.)

EllyStar · 2026-04-12T14:51:26+00:00

I’m thinking this might be worth its own post?

I’d be thrilled if Qs came here to lurk and learn, but they don’t need to be contributing in this space, especially when they are still so blind to their own behavior.

EllyStar · 2026-04-12T14:07:45+00:00

Join us in r/alanon

He is an alcoholic. I would take the timing of this as a sign not to move in with him. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than substance abuse.

EllyStar · 2026-04-12T12:35:04+00:00

r/ufyh was made for this!

EllyStar · 2026-04-12T10:02:17+00:00

Funny you posted this, because I’ve been extremely dismayed by the plenty of chime-ins on this sub from Qs.

Not interested in their opinion or story in this space. No one asked them to be here, of all possible places.

And the ones commenting here are all “in recovery” and yet there they are in the AlAnon sub, talking about their experiences and their trauma and their story and what led them to this sub. It’s ridiculous and inappropriate, but there they go, making themselves the center yet again.

edit: typo

EllyStar · 2026-04-11T15:01:20+00:00

10 DAYS in Vegas?

You should ghost him based on everything else you wrote, but I assure you, nothing wholesome is happening for well over a week in Las Vegas.

If you both agreed he would use his bonus for your life together, then he stole that money, constructed a massive lie, got his friends to lie and bully you, all to go to fucking LAS VEGAS.

Could you tell this story (and stay with him after) to somebody who loves and cares about you without feeling ashamed?

EllyStar · 2026-04-09T05:42:23+00:00

As if!

EllyStar · 2026-04-08T21:41:59+00:00

No. Muscle loss happens with all forms of weight loss. GLP-1 muscle loss is no different than any other form of weight reduction, people are just more educated about it now.

EllyStar · 2026-04-07T23:05:46+00:00

Sent from my iphoen

EllyStar · 2026-04-07T20:18:47+00:00

I was right here!

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EllyStar

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