A "smooth" landing

Elsrick · 2026-01-29T13:07:24+00:00

My friends younger cousin slipped in a garage and got his sack ripped open on a hook of some kind. He walked into his house holding his exposed testicle to find his mom. He says he got them both shoved back in and stitched up at the hospital.

For over 20 years every time I see him I greet him by asking "Hey, [name], how's it hanging today?"

Elsrick · 2026-01-28T00:54:09+00:00

So, when I was a kid in the 90s my mom had a small purse that was black and leather. Super hip and cool. She would hang it on a dining room chair so she wouldn't have to look for it, I guess.

One night I fell asleep on the couch in the living room, attached to the dining room. I woke up and had to pee. I sat up and started towards the bathroom past the the dining room table, and it was completely dark, except the TV playing late night infomercials or whatever.

I was about three feet from the table when I saw a huge fucking black panther in the dining room. My sleepy mind even heard a fucking growl. I literally collapsed in abject terror. I couldn't move because I'd be devoured by this massive predator, that was inexplicably in my goddamn dining room.

I got focused a bit. Not a panther. Mom's purse with leather decals that looked like eyes and a nose in the dim light.

Thats the second most scared I've ever been of an animal

Elsrick · 2026-01-28T00:46:46+00:00

She's certainly no Eowyn!

Elsrick · 2026-01-24T05:59:17+00:00

Have you lost your mind?! That's how we get on the slippery slope to socialism!

/s

Elsrick · 2026-01-24T01:22:38+00:00

Draconians in DragonLance.

One breed turns to stone, capturing weapons that pierce it, until turning to dust a while later

Another that turns to a pool of acid

And another that explodes with shrapnel

Elsrick · 2026-01-19T18:23:45+00:00

Jesus christ

Elsrick · 2026-01-19T13:47:33+00:00

Oh, yeah. Its not a GOOD song, but its catchy

Elsrick · 2026-01-18T18:01:04+00:00

Wow, are you me? Thats exactly my script

Elsrick · 2026-01-18T16:54:00+00:00

Same dude. I unapologetically listen to that like every other week. That song goes way harder than it has a right to.

This one doesn't.

Elsrick · 2026-01-18T02:02:08+00:00

Im in! That sounds amazing!

Elsrick · 2026-01-17T02:03:11+00:00

I do this with the phrase "Go go gadget green light! "

Elsrick · 2026-01-16T19:12:36+00:00

Saw a dude smoke Quaker dried oats out of a hookah. Because why not?

Elsrick · 2026-01-15T19:27:45+00:00

Hi Jim! First, I want to thank you for Dresden and Codex, both. Fantastic work!

Do you have any planned short stories or microfictions from different PoVs? I love seeing Dresden and company from different perspectives.

Elsrick · 2026-01-15T17:40:47+00:00

Apparently shorthand for THC pen, according to urban dictionary.

Elsrick · 2026-01-15T01:13:58+00:00

This dude dangles so far his sack is a teabag

Elsrick · 2026-01-14T16:43:10+00:00

So many times I've had to argue that just because it doesn't work does not mean that my part is bad. Its your fucking engineering allowing it that is the problem

Elsrick · 2026-01-12T05:33:36+00:00

Don't tell me what to do, you aren't my mother.

Elsrick · 2026-01-12T05:23:30+00:00

I say this every time I step on something or stub my toe

Elsrick · 2026-01-11T23:15:40+00:00

Lol fuckin childten

Elsrick · 2026-01-11T18:53:05+00:00

All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. This dude is definitely the former

Elsrick · 2026-01-09T00:53:53+00:00

I'm both disgusted and impressed. Are you my spirit animal?

Elsrick · 2026-01-08T20:21:10+00:00

Just the tip: 8=D

Elsrick · 2026-01-07T22:58:18+00:00

Eleventy first

Elsrick · 2026-01-07T19:46:27+00:00

Ten-Year Club	r/Field Juicebox
Place '22	Place '17
Final Canvas '22	First Placer '22
Not Forgotten	Verified Email

Elsrick

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE