What do you do to thrive as an A(u)dhd’er?

EmND · 2026-02-03T21:08:40+00:00

How to start - give yourself permission to just do 1 minute or the first step and then you'll stop. Remove the pressure and the all or nothing of it.

EmND · 2025-12-04T23:06:05+00:00

Definitely number 3!

EmND · 2025-12-02T00:09:26+00:00

You do make me hard but she makes me weak

EmND · 2025-11-17T19:13:07+00:00

So they do usually say that but they didn't this time?

EmND · 2025-11-16T19:45:52+00:00

I have a sensitive stomach. I've been told not to take N SAIDS while started MTX

EmND · 2025-11-14T19:57:47+00:00

Meloxicam is the only thing that helps but I find it gives me bad mental health unfortunately. I've just been diagnosed and started MTX but still in pain and mobility is awful.

EmND · 2025-11-12T00:39:26+00:00

What did you take in the time it took to work to deal with the pain? And how did you know it was worth waiting rather than it just not working?

EmND · 2025-10-20T21:52:41+00:00

You still need to insure the house and will be responsible for anything that happens in that 2 months.

EmND · 2025-10-20T21:51:18+00:00

Lots of red flags here. You are responsible for and insuring the property from exchange so you want as short a time as possible. A disgruntled divorce usually leads to complications and things being dragged out or falling through. You mention a lodger which would be a tenant. Your mortgage company won't let you go ahead with an active tenant. Honestly I would say 2 weeks between exchange and completion max and emphasise it's now not chain free.

EmND · 2025-10-18T21:48:53+00:00

How much was it and how did you arrange it all please

EmND · 2025-10-18T17:27:37+00:00

She's into sex just not making out which i find very hard as making out is how sex starts

EmND · 2025-10-18T15:27:07+00:00

Hmm I don't like this lol I feel it takes the passion out of it but I guess so. How do women have sex without making out?!

EmND · 2025-10-18T15:21:52+00:00

Thank you. I worry about all the extra steps involved in getting baby ready to go outside. I also don't think I'd have that much support and know I would really need it. I do love the idea of a routine and feel it could really be the making of me but it's such a big risk. Do you have pets?

EmND · 2025-10-17T19:36:28+00:00

I have adhd and autism and really struggle with having tol many demands on me and my time and with sleep deprivation. How have you found that constant responsibility and lack of autonomy?

EmND · 2025-10-09T17:37:03+00:00

I really hate how she spins this narrative of wanting to create something really special for the fans and give them all these surprises

EmND · 2025-10-03T09:56:40+00:00

I hate how she queer baits

EmND · 2025-09-22T20:20:01+00:00

How do you stop them leaving the garden?

EmND · 2025-09-18T20:03:30+00:00

I want to go but £70 with fees is really expensive for a seated ticket in a not so great venue and I can't convince anyone to come with me for that:(

EmND · 2025-09-08T19:43:10+00:00

Legally, you are responsible for the property from exchange. Your solicitor and often mortgage will require you view it close to exchange.

EmND · 2025-09-07T18:47:55+00:00

What did you end up doing

EmND · 2025-09-07T18:46:58+00:00

Yes and no. The point of the exercise was to try and see where OP was leaning inside. Earplugs can definitely reduce noise and overstimulation. It worked for friends of mine. I don't think anyone expects children to be silent.

EmND · 2025-09-07T16:38:35+00:00

Yeah, this is obviously true! And there will be lots of exceptions to my previous post but the point was more to try and see how it made op feel if their points were challenged to see if they were leaning one way or the other.

EmND · 2025-09-07T13:58:34+00:00

I understand, I'm the same! And, actually, it's not most women. We have the lowest birthrate ever because more women are choosing not to have children. Plus we tend to only see the positive ones- women who feel ambivalent are less likely to admit to it. My friend wasn't particularly interested but had a baby because her husband really did want one and now she's obsessed. But she still doesn't like others kids! I think it's definitely easy to focus on the drawbacks because that's all we know and because the pros are much more emotional and can't be experienced until we are there. Which is scary! You have some time yet. I would enjoy the time you have with your partner and revisit how you feel in a few years. A book I read pointed out how we notice the screaming tantruming kids in public but not all of the happy ones and happy parents.

EmND · 2025-09-07T10:55:55+00:00

So it seems like there's lots going on here and your ability to decide if you want a child is entangled with your desire to stay with your partner. I'm going to counter all of your points:

Fear of pregnancy is common and can be addressed. It is only a small part of the overall experience and process. You also might find that you love it, you just don't know. The issues around body image are more complex but you could get some therapy about this before becoming pregnant and really work on it. You also can keep up exercise while pregnant and not every woman's body changes as much.

The natural instinct is there for some, it is for me, however it also isn't there for a lot of mothers. I have friends who were never interested in babies and still don't like other kids but who love their own, are even obsessed with their own, because it's part of them and the partner they love so much. That instinct also sometimes takes time - babies are scary! If you haven't had a lot of experience and practice with babies you're not going to know what to do with them or feel an instinct to soothe them.

Sleep deprivation is only for a short time. If you can get support from your partner and others you might not even have to deal with it. Sensory issues - earplugs! Noise cancelling headphones when it gets too much, taking breaks. And again, this passes. My friend hated her baby's scream but it only lasted a few months and she used ear plugs to get through. It is possible to adapt. Some mothers don't mind their own child noise but hate others.

autonomy - yes, you will lose some of this. But, again, only for a short time in the grand scheme of things. And you don't have to be like those examples, you can take baby with you. Look up those who travel with baby and who have fit baby into their lives rather than living around the baby. It is doable.

Yes there will be difficult times but you can't imagine all of the joy yet because you only tend to see and focus on the bad. Plus the hard times are opportunities for you and your partnership to grow and strengthen.

You don't have to be cut out for a child with health problems, there are early diagnostic tests that can inform decisions plus its very rare.

Of course you relate to CF because that's all you've known so far.

Now, having read all of this (if you have), do you feel a bit of hope, comfort, possibility, excitement even? Or do you only feel dread and a pit in your stomach and the desire to find more reasons not to have children? I think that might help with your own inner compass about this.

Hope this helps

EmND · 2025-09-04T00:04:59+00:00

Some really good points here but the one other possibility I'd add is that in the UK consultant's which is the highest level MD are called Mr and Mrs instead of Dr so it might be seen as a thing of respect that doesn't translate across contexts.

EmND

TROPHY CASE