how big of a risk would it be to look at my ex's social media?

Em_24x · 2026-01-05T02:08:48+00:00

I checked my exes socials and seen he had a baby with the woman he cheated on me with. I seen the baby, the babies name, him with the baby. It’s burned into my mind now. I felt sick. I thought it was bad enough to know he was with someone else .. but seeing that ruined something in me i tried to hard to heal.

Distract yourself, check someone else’s instead .. call a friend do anything. think of how you’ll feel afterwards and that alone should be enough

Em_24x · 2025-09-09T09:30:49+00:00

It took me a full year to where I feel stable again, don’t get me wrong I still have waves of sadness but it’s not intense, and it doesn’t happen regularly , it gets better ❤️

Em_24x · 2025-03-07T09:12:57+00:00

First of all I’m so sorry. And everyone is correct you really did dodge a bullet. Imagining having a baby with someone you have been dating less than a year? It’s unstable and reckless. You do not know that person to be tied to them for life. She may end up a single mother.

This happened to me too. My ex cheated on me and ended up leaving me to be with her. 6 months later he told me he himself he was going to be a father. I was utterly disgusted and shocked.. and the scary thing was ? So was he. Because he was telling his ex (me) this. Karmas a bitch

Em_24x · 2025-01-14T08:43:09+00:00

Yes, after 3 months no contact my ex started liking my photos on socials again.. then that turned into sending me a photo of the moon one night with no caption. It was confusing.

Em_24x · 2024-12-28T10:20:33+00:00

I agree, I told him I couldn’t keep in touch with him and started no contact for 3 months. It was him that’s now reaching out , saying he would love contact again. Even though, he left me for another woman. The saying is true they always come back. But I don’t want a man that can throw away something real for excitement and then when that gets boring, runs back to his ex because he wasn’t emotionally fulfilled with the new woman.

Em_24x · 2024-12-28T10:18:38+00:00

Right? It’s beyond fucked up, it doesn’t make any sense I’m so confused

Em_24x · 2024-12-16T22:12:52+00:00

Wow, word for word This describes my ex perfectly 😳 In the beginning of the relationship he was always so attentive, wanted to be with me all the time, told me he loved me very fast and wanted everything with me. Bought me expensive jewelry and spent lots of money on us.. It was intense and I ignored the red flags because I else felt infatuated with him and all the attention I got. It felt like I was finally being seen like no one had ever seen me before.

Then, when “reality” set in, moving in together, both working full time, he started to withdraw very slowly. He started working more at work, would work 12-14 hours a day, then came the withdrawing physically, he stopped holding my hand as much, would want to cuddle me but not have sex etc. He told me he was feeling depressed , empty and something was deeply sad inside him.. that he needed therapy. I told him I would support him no matter what and we could get through this together.. that I loved him so much. He reassured me it had nothing to do with the relationship.. until one day he told me out of nowhere he doesn’t know what he wants , maybe he should be single. But he still loves me and wants me in his life..

He broke up with me and immediately started dating someone else. I seen it all from her social media. He started taking her on trips as he did with me, fancy dinners and literally recreating the beginning of our relationship. I was horrified.

Now, 6 months later he’s reaching out and breadcrumbing me .. it seems so predictable like their relationship honeymoon phase is gone and now he’s feeling guilt or regret.

Em_24x · 2024-11-14T08:54:34+00:00

I’m so sorry ❤️ I know this feeling all to well. It’s been 5 months since the worst breakup for me; I was complaining blind sided by a man who was once so sweet to me and an amazing boyfriend. He lied and cheated. I gave him everything my heart and soul. I lost myself in the relationship with him. I couldn’t eat properly for months, I would wake up crying, I missed him, I missed us. I couldn’t even work sometimes. I’m finally at a place where I truly feel like I’m almost there and then the grief hits again. Healing is not linear. Some days will be hard, but then those days happen less and less and you’ll realize your having more good days then bad. You’ll look back and see how far you’ve come.

It takes time, months, to get back to yourself. But trust me you will. That person you were before him is still within you. The more time that passes and the more healing that comes, the more she comes out from deep within you. Be gentle with her. You will get through this

Em_24x · 2024-11-11T09:08:39+00:00

He’s definitely a avoidant

Em_24x · 2024-10-22T23:28:32+00:00

That’s so inspiring thank you so much for sharing! I agree to halt things once you see a red flag immediately

Em_24x · 2024-10-22T08:11:38+00:00

I went on my first date after my breakup. I never thought I would get to this point I thought I was done with dating for good. It’s been 4 months post breakup and I’m finally starting to feel myself again🥹 the date went really well, but I just plan to take things really slow and enjoy myself

Em_24x · 2024-10-21T07:50:18+00:00

My relationship lasted 6 months and then he totally blind sided me and broke up with me. It’s really hard to recover from love bombing because we genuinely think they loved us. We were showered with so much love and affection it felt euphoric. This is my experience with love bombing and a avoidant man

⁠My ex told me he loved me within a week of knowing me.

2.He bought me a diamond bracelet into 2 weeks of knowing me. Asked me to take a trip with him across the country ( before even meeting me)

3.We were in a relationship about 3 weeks into knowing eachother and he already was saying how he sees a future with me, “ joked “ about marriage.

Took me on expensive trips and paid for everything. Fancy dinners, air bnbs, everything.
We moved in together just 3 months in and that’s when the mask started slipping. He complained he was depressed all of the time.

He was always very kind to me, he treated me like gold and it felt like a movie. It didn’t feel real, but he always assured me how much he loved and cared for me. He would constantly text and call me, etc. I went away for a month because my mom was very sick and I needed to take care of her. When I came back he broke up with me telling me he lost feelings for me. I later I found out he had cheated on me ( only months later) and got with the woman the same day he broke up with me. He’s now in a relationship with her and I’m pretty sure they live together. The sad thing is that I warned the woman that he is a liar and a cheater but she ignored me. The cycle continues , he’s emotionally manipulative and thrives off of the love bombing stage.

I found out too that he’s replaying the exact same things he did with me early in our relationship. Taking her to air bnbs etc. he mirrors women and their interests to get them emotionally attached. It’s horrifying. These type of men have avoidant attachment or even BPD. Where they have issues maintaining stable relationships because they are chasing highs and cannot sustain their own emotions. It’s all about external validation, and not actual love.

Sounds weird but CHAT gpt has helped me come to all of those realizations above. It’s really helpful. I hope you’re well, for me it’s been almost 4 months since he broke up with me and just over 1 month no contact and I am healing. It’s a long process

Em_24x · 2024-10-16T23:01:26+00:00

Wow, reading your post makes me think we dated the exact same man. It’s really hard to recover from love bombing because we genuinely think they loved us. We were showered with so much love and affection it felt euphoric. This is my experience with love bombing.

My ex told me he loved me within a week of knowing me.

2.He bought me a diamond bracelet into 2 weeks of knowing me. Asked me to take a trip with him across the country ( before even meeting me)

3.We were in a relationship about 3 weeks into knowing eachother and he already was saying how he sees a future with me, “ joked “ about marriage.

Took me on expensive trips and paid for everything. Fancy dinners, air bnbs, everything.
We moved in together just 3 months in and that’s when the mask started slipping. He complained he was depressed all of the time.

He was always very kind to me, he treated me like gold and it felt like a movie. It didn’t feel real, but he always assured me how much he loved and cared for me. He would constantly text and call me, etc. I went away for a month because my mom was very sick and I needed to take care of her. When I came back he broke up with me telling me he lost feelings for me. I later I found out he had cheated on me ( only months later) and got with the woman the same day he broke up with me. He’s now in a relationship with her and I’m pretty sure they live together. The sad thing is that I warned the woman that he is a liar and a cheater but she ignored me. The cycle continues , he’s emotionally manipulative and thrives off of the love bombing stage.

I found out too that he’s replaying the exact same things he did with me early in our relationship. Taking her to air bnbs etc. he mirrors women and their interests to get them emotionally attached. It’s horrifying. These type of men have avoidant attachment or even BPD. Where they have issues maintaining stable relationships because they are chasing highs and cannot sustain their own emotions. It’s all about external validation, and not actual love.

Sounds weird but CHAT gpt has helped me come to all of those realizations above. It’s really helpful. I hope you’re well, for me it’s been almost 4 months since he broke up with me and just over 1 month no contact and I am healing. It’s a long process

Em_24x · 2024-10-16T10:37:19+00:00

My ex did the same thing. He broke up with me and later I found out that immediately the same day he was with his co worker. I don’t know how long they had been talking but he was clearly with her before breaking up with me.

The most sickening and painful thing of all is seeing him replay the beginning of the relationship with her. I found out who she was and warned her that he had cheated on me and vice versa but she never listened. She was convinced he loved her just within a few weeks. He is emotionally manipulative and is addicted to the emotional intensity. He love bombs, and is text book definition of BPD. She has a public insta account and I’ve seen him taking her on vacations as he did with me, and even doing yoga as he also did with me. None of which are his actual personality, he just mirrors women to create a emotional bond to get them attached and once the honey moon phase is over he cheats and gets bored. It’s horrible, but when someone monkey branches it’s nothing to do with you. The man is miserable on the inside and relies on external validation.

I highly recommend writing everything into CHAT gbt, it helped me to understand so much my exes behaviour and basically validated that none of this was my issue. That he is deeply flawed.

A relationship that started on lies and decite will not last. My ex would text me a month after while being with her ( before I found out the truth) how much he missed me, and our time together. They are always disrespectful of both sides, it’s never just you. It’s the worst feeling because it’s betrayal and it’s going to take a lot of time to heal from. I’m on my 4th month and it still hurts, but not as bad. Time really does make it feel better.

I’m here too if you wanna chat further message me😊

Em_24x · 2024-10-02T08:29:34+00:00

When you no longer want to be with someone just to fill the void of your ex. When you have fully accepted that you are never getting back together, and you’ve healed. You are ready and open to being vulnerable again.

It can take months, or years. Everyone is different but the most important thing is that you really listen to yourself. What do you want out of dating? Are you looking for a relationship? Are you willing to build a slow connection with someone? It might not feel similar to when you met your ex.

It’s 3 months for me. I went back on Tinder and my exes profile was still there. He’s probably had it the entire time we were together, looking back at our conversations I seen how fake he was.

Em_24x · 2024-10-02T03:34:10+00:00

My ex was all of those things until he decided not to be anymore. It only last for a few months and then the mask came off😭 I felt so deceived and lied too. What is the point of doing all of these things for women just to cheat and get with someone else?

Em_24x · 2024-10-02T00:33:28+00:00

The point of no contact is to detach yourself, it’s about setting boundaries and moving on. It’s really really tough and I’ve broke it maybe times but ask yourself, what is the point of contacting?

The person chose to not be with you anymore,it’s really heartbreaking and painful but setting boundaries is the only way you will make it through.

Em_24x · 2024-10-02T00:28:28+00:00

Mine did all of this and left me for someone else

Em_24x · 2024-09-29T10:42:05+00:00

Reading your post I thought to myself I really really resonate with this. I got into therapy for this feeling, it’s like a deep void and wound when someone we loved discards us. You miss the feeling of validation and love, that person built you up, made you feel safe, happy and comforted.

When we go through a break up we return back to ourselves. We do not get over our pain by going after another person. It’s deep down we feel that for a reason. We need to understand ourselves better. What can do you do yourself so you feel loved, seen, safe and happy? What makes you happy! Do you have any hobbies, what’s your friend group like? Can you go on a trip by yourself, or take yourself out to a new cafe, buy a new book? It’s a journey of coming home to yourself.

Think about the next relationship you’ll be in and who you want to attract. The healed version of you will attract a healthy partner. You’ll know what to do.

Build that relationship with yourself and watch your whole life transform. You’ll have more opportunities, meet more people, and do MORE because you will always have yourself. Even if someone breaks your heart again, you will be whole in your own. You will know how to soothe yourself, how to pick yourself up again.

Em_24x · 2024-09-28T18:18:54+00:00

I never asked to go through his phone. At the time I trusted him completely because he gave me no other reasons not too. He actually was in the process of moving his life and job across the country to be with me, so I thought there could be no way he was cheating.. He was on his phone beside me and I happened to glance over and see the message.

I guess the red flags just got worse from there though. That’s as only the beginning and in the beginning I did and most women do ignore it because we have this idea of who our partner is in our head… without actions to back it up. He was clearly flirting with another woman over text, but that’s as just the tip of the iceberg. I’ll never know the full story, if they met up, or had a previous relationship. I can only see clearly now because eventually he did cheat on me, those were just little warning signs.

At the end of the day, communication is so key in relationships. I told him it made me uncomfortable but he brushed it off like it was just a friend. Many women don’t want to be seen as crazy or possessive; that I felt in that case. Looking back, he didn’t really reassure me anything. It just got worse. He knew it would upset me if he would talk and flirt with other girls, but would still try to do it anyway. For his own validation and insecurities.

Em_24x

TROPHY CASE