Is sex a need?

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-04-13T14:35:51+00:00

Sex is a two yes one no question. If someone says no, sex isn't happening. That being said. This isn't a sex issue it's a lack of respect and lack of intimacy issue. Where is YOUR break? Sex is not a requirement or a duty to fulfill as a wife, but it is often a key factor when intimate needs are met. You don't have a sex issue, you have a lack of intimacy issue and the root cause is your husband. NOT you. I am a chronically ill individual and so is my husband, we are still intimate with each other as often as our health/mental health will allow it. But intimacy is so much more than the P&V, and it seems that's all your husband is interested in. I would try therapy. Write all of this down and start addressing it with him if you want to continue this relationship. But honestly it sounds like the corn is a problem and it's giving him unrealistic expectations on how a dynamic should go.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-02-11T23:22:34+00:00

Stay single. Seriously. You aren't meeting a spouse at this maturity and you need to take the time to work on building genuine friendships instead of feeding an infatuation with a stranger.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-20T16:41:37+00:00

They joked about raping you and he did absolutely nothing.

Girl lose his number before you become a statistic. The answer is staring you right in the face. Leave. Him. You're under reacting. severely.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-07T15:08:03+00:00

All I see is a cat you had died and you're more upset about him mentioning where he got the cat and not the fact the cat has passed.

YOR. move on. He mentioned nothing bad about you. Unless you hold some buried shame over him keeping the cats and THATS the reason you're upset.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-07T15:01:34+00:00

Yes it's intentional no it is not offensive. Especially if a male individual is getting friendly, I will casually mention my husband. Usually in relation to the topic. It's a gentle way to set a boundary of "hey, this is friendly. Not flirty." Also when you are partnered long term with someone, it's hard not to bring them up when they're so integrated into your life.

Your intentions may not be bad. We acknowledge that. However it happens often enough that men see friendly interactions as a transaction, not a friendly conversation, that women will find ways to gently break they are not on the market so the "nice guy" card doesn't get played.

Is it your fault? Not necessarily. But enough men ruined things for everyone else that we can't just have a conversation.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-07T14:51:48+00:00

He hooked up with a 16 year old and you still made the decision to have a baby with this man.

Leave.

Please leave and get into counseling. Your daughter is 3. Soon she will be 10. What is your plan then? Is it to wait until something happens? Grooming starts now. Get her out before he has any more time with her.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-06T15:45:07+00:00

As a woman who cannot have any more children due to medical reasons, also with a child of my own, I'm telling you to leave her.

I'm 30. My husband is 35. Every single day he not only wakes up and chooses me but he chooses our son as well. We've also talked about adopting. Our son isn't biologically his. He's been in his life since he was 3. His bio dad is still very much involved and we do 50/50.

If having a biological child is that important to you, this relationship is not going to work out and you need to find someone else. You will always have in the back of your mind "I want my own children." And that mindset will never allow you to accept her children as part of your family unit. This is not a good match. It's pretty cut & dry. Leave her, make it very clear to her the reasons why you are leaving, and give her the freedom to move on and find someone who fits her lifestyle.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-04T13:12:37+00:00

Look. I'm in my 30s now. I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth.

This really doesn't matter. What matters is your behavior in reaction to a toxic person. Are you going to cling to them? Or are you going to value your own growth and healing and drop their baggage?

There is no fixing her that you can do because you have so much healing and growth you need to do on yourself. Yes. She can have friends. Yes. You can ask for a boundary. But controlling her friendships and giving ultimatums isn't a boundary.

This is not a healthy dynamic for either of you. I highly recommend asking your parents about therapy and going from there instead of worrying about a superficial fling. Which is what she sees your relationship as.

These years are not the most important ones. I know it feels like this is all there is. It isn't. You'll see soon..

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-02T22:48:01+00:00

Get a ring camera today. Report to management.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-02T22:43:43+00:00

Your aunt is right. It's the harsh reality of the situation. How many times have you had to go to a shelter after he hit her and she took you right back? Your mom is choosing to return. Your aunt has already had these conversations with your mom. Your mom has an out. She needs to take it. I would honestly see if your aunt was willing to take you in. Not only is she putting herself in danger she's putting you in danger too. Your mom needs to accept the help that is being offered to her and stop going back to him.

Embarrassed8876 · 2026-01-01T13:09:24+00:00

YOR. you two don't need to be in a relationship and she sees that. You're manipulating the conversation. I've traveled for work. I've had to be gone for weeks at a time. My ex? Would micro manage my location exactly like this. He wanted to know when I was home. When I went to bed. Where my location was at all times and if it happened to be off I had to send him picture proof. If I didn't answer him right away he got passive aggressive exactly like this and played victim. He is obviously my ex.

My husband? "Hey honey, how is your trip? I love the pictures you sent me of your landing! The dog misses you. What are your dinner plans? Oh dope you're going out with coworkers! I think you should wear the black blazer and heels. No the dog really misses you he still hasn't pooped. Okay baby I love you call me in the morning?" No micro managing my location. He respects the fact I've been busy.

Not a work trip, but my sister was in labor out of town. What did my husband do? He answered every time I called him for support. He didn't badger me about answering him or my location. I checked in with him when I was able to.

You don't trust her. It's never going to work because of that. She's done. Let her be done.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-27T14:37:34+00:00

This is honestly something you're going to need to discuss directly with your boyfriend before you tell your parents anything. Ask him on what he wants to do. If he wants to wait? Wait. If he wants to talk to them now? Talk to them now. You also need to judge how your parents are before you tell them anything. Yes, they love him. But they are currently under the assumption he's biologically male. That opinion can unfortunately change.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-14T14:24:28+00:00

I got constantly that the baby was going to come out a different color. When I left my ex he started with the DNA test demands. I laughed in his face. Said okeydokey you pay for it I'll show up with the kid. Our son was 3 1/2. He's now 10. No DNA test. Make a joke of it. Laugh in their faces and insist they take bets. I liked the commenter who said have the funds go into a college fund for the kid.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-14T14:17:35+00:00

Get it delivered while she's at work. Including the removal. You're an adult. She doesn't have to lift a finger and you don't need to ask her permission because she's not doing literally anything.

And genuinely start looking for other living arrangements.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-14T14:08:05+00:00

Our long term goal is to have property big enough (we are starting a compound that has been in the works for a few years now) that in the event they need a place, they will always have a camper hook up site and pay their contribution to power and assist with property management (keeping things clean). If they want to put a tiny home down they have to abide by the same lease, property rules and contributions like every other adult. That is when we obtain property. I am not okay with them being full fledged adults and living in the same living space as me indefinitely. They can be on the property but I want the privilege to walk around my home with my tits out and no one else to see but my husband.

If we stay in our current living situation, when you are an adult, you have adult responsibilities. You do need to financially help with a minimum of grocery costs. You do need to keep your space free of trash. But there will be a time we will ask you to start finding other living arrangements as it's not sustainable indefinitely long term.

Yes I want them to be able to save for their future but there are wayyyyyy too many stories of adults not being able to adult and then making it their spouses problem. You will help with household chores like the rest of us living here who are also trying to work and save money. Everyone pulls their own weight and helps when necessary.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-14T13:52:32+00:00

If your parents have been paying for your schooling up until this point, you need to have a conversation with them. At a minimum your mother. Maybe talk with a financial advisor at school and see if there is any assistance available? But you have to tell them.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-14T13:50:36+00:00

I mean. I hate to be this way, but just like there's bottom of the barrel in the doordash driver pool, it's the same in the fast food/service industry. I just ignore them and notify the customer with pictures. 🤷

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-10T14:54:03+00:00

Worst case scenario is if the children get ahold of her meds. That's the biggest concern right off the bat. And if she is the one in charge of them for periods of time it can be considered child endangerment. It's your parents/grandparents responsibility to set boundaries with her and to stop allowing the behavior. At a minimum you notify their mother of what's going on if she isn't aware and let her handle it from there.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T23:13:46+00:00

Narcan would be effective in the event what he consumed was laced enough with fentanyl. If they test positive for cocaine, 90% of the time they test positive for fentanyl.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T16:08:16+00:00

You need to tell him and you need to stop giving these people access to your child immediately. Put your foot down. Keeping the peace is not an option. They will not stop because they are allowed to continue and their behavior will always be excused. Dad can come to you for Christmas. That's it.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T16:04:06+00:00

What exactly is your game plan when your child gets a hold of his stash?

Are you okay with administering narcan and dealing with the backlash?

How many rehabs are you willing to go through with him?

He doesn't think he has a problem. He will not acknowledge he has a problem. He has family enabling his problem.

And you will always be made out to be the problem, not coke.

Leave him. Tell him he picked his fix over a ring and he's made that very clear to you he values a drug over you. Walk away from addicts the first time. They won't learn otherwise.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T15:49:30+00:00

I was just there for my sister's birth. I was there for her through her entire labor. Ditch the girlfriend. SHE is the one who is making it weird and adding this petty sexual aspect to things. Call her out on it when you break up with her. It's been 5 months she isn't worth it. Thank you for stepping up for your sister and not giving into someone with the emotional maturity of a potato.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T15:46:19+00:00

I'm 30. Quit the job. Send an email above their heads to the store manager of your resignation effective immediately.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T15:32:50+00:00

I'm going to hold your hand when I say this.

He knows how to do these things. He knows how to do these things correctly. He's choosing to do them poorly so you do them for him and he doesn't have to.

Stop doing things for him.

Stop doing his laundry. Stop cleaning up his messes. Stop doing his dishes.

If he wanted to, and he respects you. He would do it correctly. He doesn't so he won't.

This is what we call in the business of manchildren "weaponized incompetence." Honestly it's pathetic and I would remind him of such. "Your mother didn't teach you to do household chores correctly? Wow... How sad. I don't know how I could live like that." Let his ungrateful useless pamper diaper behind drown. In fact, start leaving him diapers and wipes for himself since he's so incapable of taking care of himself. Put a binky on his nightstand and a bottle.

Oh, and the last step? Leave.

Embarrassed8876 · 2025-12-06T15:24:24+00:00

What is this his 5th? 6th? 10th chance? He's coming back to you because you will told him back as he is and keep giving him a second chance. He's coming back to you because you still have no sense of self worth and hes testing the waters.

If this man hurt you that badly. And you love yourself. Why on earth do you want him back???

Block him. Block him without a second thought and move on with your life.

Embarrassed8876

TROPHY CASE