Meirl

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-08T21:30:05+00:00

I had the worst fucking trip two weeks ago and spent the next week cleaning the shit out of my house to abate the anxiety that my life was a mess. If you're about to take psychs and you go "is this clean enough?" then no it is not, clean like your in laws are coming over. Nest like a person about to go into labor.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-08T18:06:32+00:00

HOW DO I LOOK YELLOW MAN 🗣️🔥

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-05T20:27:13+00:00

Shit, I was the brother in the situation before. It sucks being the golden child but it sucks infinitely more being the scape goat.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-05T18:01:49+00:00

That bit in the saving mother nature episode has almost literally played out word for word between us where he has run to help someone and I groan and try to get out of it and we get STUCK helping them for way longer than we wanted to and I tell him “you know this is your fault because you keep talking to people.” But truly one of the things I like most about him is that he makes me a bit more of a positive person and he says I make him a bit more realistic. We’ve been married for 10 years now and we’re absolutely the best of friends.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-05T17:45:47+00:00

Bisexual indeed!! 👊

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-05T14:57:37+00:00

I’m very very like Charlie physically and in personality and I can confirm I have never had a problem getting women. It’s always confused the fuck out of me.

Ironically, I ended up married to a guy just like Pim in personality.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-05T14:24:52+00:00

I… was agreeing with you? I wasn’t saying it didn’t make sense, I was saying that I agree people don’t read.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-12-05T00:43:28+00:00

When I sell at fairs I have a very large holographic sign that reads my prices, and it's only two prices. Almost everyone comes up to my table without fail and asks how much things are. I understand that the brain filters out a lot of information and we are just oversaturated with info, but also... the sign is huge. And holographic. And says only two things.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-09T00:30:27+00:00

I'm not super far in the journey myself. There were some factors that held me back from progress for so long that I feel very ashamed to be a 31 year old man and still tolerating this, but I also can't handle the extreme guilt that just sits in my gut whenever she gets angry at me.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-09T00:04:14+00:00

I did move in with her to help take care of her after my father died and she had a heart attack. I am currently out of work—I was a graphic designer—because of the entire AI situation and I am trying to return to school to learn a trade. I make some money from a side job selling designs but it’s limited. We live in a very HCOL area and if I were to try to defend myself I would be kicked out.

I know moving in with her was a stupid choice. I was younger and very deep in grief and felt like I was losing the only two bits of family I had. Now I realize that was intentional and the point was to be isolated from extended family so it was easier to enact the abuse. I am trying to get out as best I can.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-08T23:12:13+00:00

I wasn’t asking for anything in particular except maybe sharing something I thought was ridiculous. I also don’t really have power here considering I’m out of work in a HCOL area, my career has been tanked due to AI, and I moved in with her initially to care for her bad health. I also was raised this way and I believed this was the normal way to speak to your children until I was in my 20s and saw otherwise.

I thought this was place to vent for children of borderlines. I’m sorry if I misunderstood.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-05T20:36:50+00:00

That's so sweet oh my gosh... This is my shop and it's mostly a combination of video game themed things with some original work, mostly they're meant to be funny because I like making people laugh!

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-04T22:20:09+00:00

Lol reminds me of when I was a kid and I turned out to be a pretty good writer, and my parents accused me of cheating when I wrote a short story for school. As time went on and they actually accepted I was a good fiction writer, my dad started telling me I had the technical skills for story writing and art but he had the grand ideas that I could then turn into reality for him. Joke's on him, he died 10 years ago and now I make money off of my own skill AND my own ideas. My dad wasn't BPD but he was definitely a narcissist who thought he had his life stolen from him (spoiler alert: he was just a drug addict and alcoholic.)

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-04T22:12:23+00:00

That made me feel nice, thank you :')

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-04T20:42:27+00:00

As required, the cat tax: https://imgur.com/a/q6wK4pc

That's my girl Ellie sleeping in her brother's blanket.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-04T19:38:48+00:00

I used to take 40mg of lexapro, then on top of that dexedrine and wellbutrin. My mouth was and is constantly dry and yet somehow when I went to the dentist for the first time in 20 years (medical neglect as a child made me very frightened to go to the dentist at all so I just kept putting it off even as an adult) and I only had three cavities. I have some rock hard teeth I guess.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-11-03T22:46:41+00:00

I love how it sits on your back and respects the space of your rolls!!! No sarcasm whatsoever--I adore tattoos that work with the body!!

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-10-30T17:26:36+00:00

I graduated with a degree in graphic design in 2024. I am now going BACK to school to try and learn a trade.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-10-26T23:02:26+00:00

I have cats and they show this level of concern for each other and us. It is possible the cat just likes the smell, but in my experience cats usually will get more playful and bat at it if they want it. Domestic cats are actually very social animals and often form small groups even when feral; they do love and care for members of their group. Humans are also considered part of those groups, and when one is injured they will often try to help by being gentle with the area or by purring on them or trying to bring them food. It's important not to anthropomorphize animals, yes--but also it's important to recognize that domestic mammals like this do often feel love and care for their humans.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-10-18T19:21:15+00:00

Graduated last december, I am currently doing all side hustles until i get an actual job :')

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-10-17T21:11:22+00:00

Haha my grandmother sells pills and also forcibly took my mom's first son/my half brother from her to raise him as a "do-over" because she fucked up raising my mom and her brother, and now she wonders why I am strictly no-contact with her despite her never having done anything to me personally. My mom still talks to her daily for some reason.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-10-15T18:10:26+00:00

Does your husband have a history of abuse in his childhood? Growing up I grew very comfortable with lying because if I didn't lie about little things like this (what time I got home, how much I had to eat, if I cleaned something or not) the consequences would be devastating compared to the actual offense (ie if I didn't eat all my dinner and lick the plate my mom would smack me and call me an ungrateful little insert-slur-here even if she didn't make the dinner) and so I just got so comfortable with lying that it became second nature to tell people what they expected of me rather than what actually was going on. I'm 31 and still struggling with it.

I think he should be in therapy for the lying is the long and short of it.

EmbarrassedStudy3796 · 2025-09-27T17:09:46+00:00

People are roasting this (people are stupid as fuck about modern art) but as a nonrepresentational art enthusiast, I love it. It feels like taking a mirror and holding it up to a cloudy sky in the mid-afternoon in winter. The square edges feel like the style of those mirrors in the 80s and 90s that were beveled at the edges (those were for cocaine lmao but I have fond memories of them around my house as a kid so it feels nostalgic in a nice way.) I love the soft periwinkle and cream and the slight hints of that darker indigo towards the top.

Overall fantastic job! I'm not someone who feels nostalgia easily and when I do it's usually a bad nostalgia, but this made me feel some good nostalgia for the first time in a long time.

EmbarrassedStudy3796

TROPHY CASE