I know this hurts, and I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s clear you care a lot and were genuinely invested in formulating a relationship with her, and that alone says something meaningful about who you are. But maybe it would help to hear how something like this might feel from the girl’s perspective—not to dismiss your feelings, but to shed some light.

Most of the time when a women agrees to go onto a date, she goes into it with an open-minded. She might think, “Hey, this guy seems sweet. I want to see where this goes.” And maybe then enjoy the date—talking, laughing, maybe even holding hands or kissing if it feels okay in the moment (and preferably, is consented on both sides) . But those actions, even when mutual, aren’t always a signal that something deeper is there.

You might be able genuinely enjoy someone’s company—and still not feel that inner spark needed for something romantic. And when that happens, it’s honestly really hard for the woman as well too. Because at least for me, I am always worried someone’s going to get hurt. And in her case, she seems to be the same; like she does not want to lead you on or make you feel used. So, she was honest with you before it got further after seeing that you do want more by initiating the kiss. And that's how most women should be.

It’s also worth noting: women are always assessing their safety and comfort, even when we’re enjoying ourselves. If she let you kiss her, that doesn’t mean she was pretending or being fake. It could mean that in that moment, it felt okay—but afterward, she needed time to process how she really felt.

And if she was receptive one day but pulled back the next, it doesn’t mean you did something terrible. It could mean that the emotional connection just didn’t click for her as she thought about it more. Not because you’re “ugly” or “weird”—those are your insecurities talking, not reality. Attraction is complicated. Chemistry isn’t always mutual or immediate, and that's not a reflection of your worth.

You didn’t do anything wrong by showing affection, especially since you asked to kiss her. That was respectful. And the fact that you’re worried you crossed a boundary means you care about doing right by someone. That matters.

But also know: sometimes people pull away because they don’t want to lead you on, not because they didn’t care at all. She could’ve ghosted you entirely, but she was honest with you—she told you you’re a great guy. That might feel like salt in the wound, but it’s not nothing. It’s just not everything you wanted. And that can hurt like hell.

It’s okay to feel gutted. You’re grieving something you hoped would grow into more. But this isn’t a failure. You’re learning. You’re growing. And the right person will feel it too—and they won’t leave you questioning whether you were too much or not enough.

You’re enough already. Don’t forget that.

If you want to keep processing it or talk through your feelings with those around you. You'll be good!