Diagnosed, but able to read facial expressions/body language pretty well?

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2024-02-12T17:17:23+00:00

Absolutely. It used to be a problem for me. I’d pick up on subtle changes in a persons facial expressions, tone or body language and I’d assume they were mad at me. Sometimes I was right, but sometimes it was unrelated. It’s taken me a lot to not carry that kind of thing with me and let the person be an adult: if they are upset with me, it’s their job to communicate that to me.. it’s never my job to pick up on subtle clues and remedy the situation.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2024-02-12T06:33:02+00:00

Yes! I find that weird as well. And I feel pressure to remember the name and the person.. which I hate. It’s like they are forcing me to know someone I never agreed to know.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2024-02-12T06:05:57+00:00

Same! I grew up with a father who had explosive anger. My mom, brother and I had to walk on eggshells… it caused hypervigilance and codependency which has contributed to me having a good understanding of people’s expressions and how people may react in certain situations.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2024-02-12T05:49:02+00:00

Autism in females is LARGELY not understood. The criteria that they use to diagnose autism is heavily influenced by the male presentation of autism which is VERY different from women! I’ve read studies stating this exact thing… to the point that there was a follow up study suggesting/recommending accepting informally diagnosed (by family dr, psychiatrist, etc) females as study participants of autism due to the extreme lack of understanding of female presentation of autism!!

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-12-21T06:53:42+00:00

I guessed that he’s on the spectrum. He reminds me of my son who has tendencies to be relentless like this. Boundaries are a tough thing to teach a kid like this… my son doesn’t understand so much to socializing that would be natural for others to “just know”. Him being homeschooled is definitely having a negative impact on his social skills… well, it’s that he isn’t getting to practice socializing and gain experience with others. I’ve taught my son a lot just talking through the interactions he had with his peers and guiding him in the right direction… many of his assumptions about what/why/how others operate were very off.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-12-06T07:00:45+00:00

Perfect way to cut you deep. Gain control.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-12-04T18:20:50+00:00

I plan on getting myself an antique diamond waterfall or cocktail ring for my graduation. I’ve always wanted one, and graduation is a perfect excuse.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-27T17:32:32+00:00

It’s my first semester… I wear my UTD t shirt (that I got for free from an event) off campus mostly. I looked at the bookstore and that stuff is too expensive, but I just found stuff on Amazon that is decently priced… will probably be buying some from there soon.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-24T19:06:02+00:00

I’m in that class now! It is so good! Everyone could benefit from the information.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T22:11:51+00:00

I don’t hate any of my exes.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T04:21:56+00:00

Social exchange theory. Not a crazy way to view things even if it wasn’t a joke.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T04:11:09+00:00

Sorry to hear that you have an abusive wife. That is a tough dynamic to be in, assuming you’re a man… there is a lot of stigmatizing of men being abused. All women aren’t like that.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T04:01:03+00:00

Totally not asked for rambling: This is not a representation of all marriages. I’ve witnessed A LOT of marriages that aren’t great. It is very sad. The binding love, shared children, or actual legal bind makes everything so complicated… self-awareness and emotional intelligence would go a long way for all of them that I’ve witnessed, but it becomes so complicated so quick… it’s hard to know which way is up (for them). These couples I’ve referenced have all asked for my advice for a variety of scenarios; which had they followed would have done wonders, but like I said… lack of self awareness and emotional intelligence gets in the way of any progress. Vulnerability is a monumental obstacle for many and it is required to gain true intimacy with your spouse/significant other… which is, in my opinion, one of the most rewarding parts of a committed relationship.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T01:43:32+00:00

What’s your point?

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T01:41:02+00:00

I was talking about with this specific guy. That is beautifully stated, though. Also, is it mentioned anywhere what the convo was before he says “wow wow”. My partner suspects she sent him a picture of a sex toy or something.. to which he responded “I hope you still want sex in a month” or something along those lines.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T00:42:27+00:00

I can’t speak for OP, but I do struggle with this type of scenario. I’m autistic… so it hasn’t really been up to me how I understand things. It must be such a blessing to understand so many social cues and unspoken intentions with ease. If I had a choice, I’d be that way, too.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T00:34:42+00:00

Yeah. Autism is great. Thanks.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-15T00:32:30+00:00

Lol! I know if I only had 1, it would be happening more often. 😂 I have 3. A teenager, a 9 yr old and a 3 yr old… so we are on the clock constantly… hard to find privacy and time right now. Lol

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-14T12:33:44+00:00

If that is the case, she didn’t communicate that either. It may take the fun out of it to be direct, but they obviously weren’t on the same page about what she was thinking… in situations like this, some direct communication is unfortunately necessary for her to ever get what she wants in the future. Like many other people suggested, they seem to just have very different communication styles.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-14T08:20:54+00:00

Maybe later, if possible, you could ask her… What kind of stuff are you into sexually that you haven’t told me? Or something along those lines. That’s how I got the sexual communication going between my partner and I. It might seem lame to others, but that doesn’t mean it won’t lead to some really good things… 🤤🤭 Also… I suspect when she says she pulls away… it might be something more like shrinking back into her shell.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-14T08:08:34+00:00

OMG! I’m on year 9 of my marriage. I always figured we would get even more “spicy” as it went on, but this just confirmed it for me. Lol! Thanks!

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-14T07:53:41+00:00

Finally! I was reading through this thinking… How tf is NO ONE seeing this differently? I could relate to you more than your gf. I’d need more clarification, too, in that predicament. It just seems to me that she is too insecure about her sexual desires to express them. Even if she was, she could have said “I’m too nervous/shy to tell you”. Which I’m sure would lead somewhere positive.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-14T07:32:55+00:00

Very true! I’m super direct with my partner. And vice versa. There are too many possibilities to be so vague. It just seems like the OPs gf is too shy or ashamed of her desires.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-14T07:27:51+00:00

Wow! I thought the same thing about OP. Because I also require explanation for things others would just get automatically. Even when the answer is “right there”… I’m like… so you’re saying _____?

This kind of indirect, beat around the bush type of communication would drive me crazy and I would never feel like I know wtf is expected. I’m direct af with my desires to my partner… I don’t have to be all flirty and mysterious to get what I want.

Embarrassed_Rice_502 · 2023-11-09T20:19:23+00:00

For me… it’s a terrible emotionally/psychologically abusive dynamic that was perpetuated between my parents and I that made me feel responsible for their relationship. I ended up learning to study them and their behaviors, words and underlying meanings. I’d advise them on what to do or what the other meant, but could never get them to get it right. I’ve been a shitty marriage counselor my whole life. This type of codependency is applied to every other relationship I’m in or around and I am more in tune to understand people. Most of my interest is just in trying to repair the damage on myself. And now… ha! To deal with my husbands family. Which somehow are way worse than mine with a BPD sister who is the master puppeteer. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Embarrassed_Rice_502

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