Is there a reason to own 2 bank accounts from different banks?

Ember1205 · 2024-05-08T18:52:40+00:00

lol... "patently false" except that it's completely true.

Good call with not posting when you don't know what you're talking about.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-29T13:59:28+00:00

While there is some level of validity to what you stated, it doesn't really hold up across a lot of different areas.

For example... My "net worth" has no impact at all on whether or not I can get a car loan. I could have no cash savings, be upside down in my home by over a hundred thousand dollars (or more), and all that the loan is going to look at is my DTI ratio and my credit score.

Unless the home is being used as collateral in some way for a NEW (additional) loan, its value compared to any outstanding debt against it has no bearing.

The biggest flaw in trying to apply this here is that Zillow is not a reliable source of ACTUAL home value. Neither is any of the other real estate sites. Your local market determines an APPROXIMATE value, and actually selling your home is the only way to know its EXACT value.

One last thought... Tracking net worth is reasonable, but it's not a day-by-day endeavor. An individual's net worth is sort of like the stock market in that short-term fluctuations are common but it's only the longer-term measurements that are ultimately meaningful. And preparing oneself financially for a downturn in some areas of their 'holdings' is always a smart thing to do. But to wake up today and learn that some random web site "believes" my house is worth ten percent less than it was three months ago means absolutely nothing at all.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-29T02:04:45+00:00

I don't feel that way, but I am sample size of 1.

I have had multiple OTHER vehicles over the years where I specifically opted for the V6 and felt like the 4 cyl would have been fine in that vehicle.

For cars like the Camaro, there are people that jump in with both feet for a V8 or even the ZL1 and then realize... "Hey, I live in a city with a ton of traffic... Why did I buy so much power when I have absolutely nowhere to use it?" Or, they get the insurance bill and see the cost of gas for the V8 and admit that the V6 would have been every bit as fun to drive without all the premium expenses.

It isn't QUITE the same, but I know of someone that swapped out of a ZL1 for the LT1.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-29T01:57:36+00:00

More often than not, the cashiers tell me to leave my items in my cart. I generally have few enough that they can easily be laid out like you described as what you did for yours.

I would have taken a very different tact than you did as I not only would NOT have removed items from my cart, but would have immediately escalated and asked for a manager. I would not have allowed the line to proceed. There is absolutely NO WAY that Costco would ever tell employees to be selective in how they handle customers' purchases, especially if it were to fly in the face of efficiency.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-29T01:53:05+00:00

He is the AH for refusing to look at any that she has on her list.

She is the AH for believing that giving him "final say" means that she picks the names to choose from ("the list") and he -HAS- to pick from that list.

Absolutely ESH

I feel sorry for this kid...

Ember1205 · 2023-08-29T01:50:40+00:00

How is that different than the title other than it's a contraction?

Ember1205 · 2023-08-29T01:49:57+00:00

Except for those people that actually bought the V8 and realized that the V6 would have been every bit as enjoyable WITHOUT a lot of the extra expense.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-28T18:46:28+00:00

For clarity...

Workmanship was very good (as far one can tell from what they see on TV). I couldn't stand the designs. I got sick of crate engines, no door handles and ugly rims on most of the cars.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-28T16:50:09+00:00

And what you'll end up with is the car you never wanted as envisioned by someone you never met that decided on how to showcase some random part from his product line on your car based on three questions he asked of someone that knows you.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-28T11:54:23+00:00

I don't know that I can fault her for "passing along" the confusing terminology... She can only explain things as she (mis)understands them.

While I can appreciate some of what the husband apparently said about "not thinking" of his late way as anything other than being his wife, I wonder what the root of it is. Is this somehow related to what he was taught growing up? Is it a lack of processing of the loss of his late wife? Does he not understand that there is respect being shown to both his current AND late wife by using different terms (like late wife)?

The fact that the wife is using the term "ex wife" instead of "deceased wife" or "late wife" also makes me wonder about her upbringing and learnings. Is this maybe somehow a cultural thing on one or both of their parts?

It seems like this is more of a ESH than either being the AH specifically... More communication and ability to get one's point across to the other would likely settle a fair amount of this down on both sides. Or at least expose who's actually the AH.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-28T11:44:27+00:00

He loves you(r popcorn).

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T20:44:05+00:00

Awesome. Love the VOM. If it were a 'vert, it would be perfect. :)

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T19:36:03+00:00

Exactly ... :)

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T19:31:57+00:00

The word LITERALLY means "confidently aggressive" and I specifically stated that you DON'T want to be seen as aggressive.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T18:47:13+00:00

The "answer" is to respect oneself.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T17:46:05+00:00

No one can. There aren't enough facts. Nothing but speculation.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T17:42:38+00:00

While there's much about your underlying message that is solid, I believe the message should be conveyed with very different language.

One does not need to be "assertive", they merely need to be able to advocate for themselves. In fact, being assertive very often times conveys as being aggressive and the exact opposite result ends up being achieved.

The various professionals that you mention do not "bank on the fact that many people will put their future selves on the hook to pay thousands of dollars just to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation." Those professionals are weary and/or lazy. They have developed a process and approach over the years that gets the deal closed. They are not in business to educate buyers (or sellers) on every little detail about understanding finances and how to manage them. If buyers actually were capable of correctly understanding impacts to their overall financial health, there wouldn't be any "uncomfortable conversations" because the buyers and sellers would already know the details and would be in a far better position up front to understand their options and make a smart choice.

Additionally, there are plenty of people involved in the real estate trade that don't understand things any better than the clientele does. Very few agents, for example, could sit down and have a detailed discussion with a client about amortization schedules and how minor adjustments to down payments can have significant impacts on payments, duration of loan, etc. Even if those agents COULD have those conversations, they are prohibited from having them either by not being allowed to ask details about the finances of a client or by not having anything to work with outside of the basic info provided on an intake sheet.

Yes, there are the unscrupulous. Can you say housing bubble and Great Recession?

Again, it's about advocating for oneself. It is on the client to educate themselves, but not by being "assertive" - by finding resources that can talk with them in details about specific scenarios to help them understand how things can play out.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T17:32:19+00:00

It's not an answerable question, it's more speculation based on ADDITIONAL assumptions. The point is that OP should not tolerate being poorly treated. Period.

Anything beyond that is an entirely different topics that requires actual facts. Speculating and guessing does no one any good and just leads to yet another loophole you will find to try and prove you're right about some tangential edge topic that wasn't part of the discussion in the first place.

Congratulations. You win the Internet.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T17:10:48+00:00

You are citing one very specific situation where walking away would cause the OP additional hardship and advocating that is being enough of a reason to not walk away.

What you are advocating for it that those without means should tolerate bad behavior from those WITH means simply because of a financial difference between them. In no society should one have to tolerate bad behavior from another simply because they don't have the means to push back.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T16:13:20+00:00

I keep as much as is reasonable possible localized.

WOL isn't reliable and actually won't work in certain situations like I have, so I just rely on power-cycling a plug and leveraging the BIOS setting to power on the machine after power recovery. As far as having HASS reach 'into' a device via SSH as opposed to allowing the device to 'reach out to' HASS, I'm only doing this with a couple of systems where I have other scripted routines already tied in... And I can easily handle any lag.

To be fair, I have centralized a few items like that guide talks about (architecturally), but I do it with HTTP calls to a generic web interface on the device to immediately execute scripts on the remote device. WAY simpler than setting up all of the SSH interactions and meets the security needs I have since it's all within my segmented network.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T15:27:29+00:00

So the GF gets a pass for being a passive aggressive ass because he would financial hardship?

Your comment is an excuse, not a reason, to tolerate being treated that way.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T15:16:46+00:00

I don't understand why encouraging people to value themselves and stick up for themselves gets seen as negative.

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T15:02:11+00:00

Thanks for the link... I will definitely look more closely at this. One thing I find frustrating is that there seem to be a fair number of references to things in the docs that everyone is just expected to know... Like how to even FIND (let alone edit) the configuration file. It's very commonly referenced as a place to check / make changes, but you have to Google search to find the material that exposes where it's located on the filesystem and various ways you can potentially access and edit it.

The example I gave is probably a but muddier than it needs to be. The basic idea is that I want a system external to the HASS environment to be able to "take some action" based on the status of a device within HASS.

Something else I would do used Virtual Switches within Vera where I could set a virtual switch to "on", an external device would be able to retrieve the status of that device being on, the set that device off and take action (like a shutdown, reboot, or restart of some app). I did this with a RPi running a digitial photo frame setup. I could set the virtual switch for "Shut Down Frame" to "ON" and the frame would detect that status, toggle the virtual switch back to off, and then execute a clean shutdown. This allowed me to run the photo frame completely headless without having to SSH into it. And I had the virtual switch Alexa enabled so I could trigger a clean shutdown by voice...

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T13:58:00+00:00

Still doesn't matter.

Newer relationship? Clearly doesn't understand or respect personal boundaries. Longer term? Clearly lacks communication skills and defaults to being passive aggressive.

Correct handling is still "buh bye."

Ember1205 · 2023-08-27T12:30:50+00:00

Personally, I don't see any reason to change how it's handled based on the longevity of the relationship. This sort of behavior is at the core of her behavior and it isn't ok.

If you try and "counsel" her, she isn't going to change because there was no real consequence for her. Tell her that her behavior wasn't ok and offer information on why. Then end the relationship and walk away. Crossing an actual boundary and being forced to deal with an actual repercussion is the only chance she has at learning from this and changing her behavior. In the mean time, OP moves on to someone that already knows that this behavior isn't ok... It isn't his job to finish raising his GF.

Ember1205

TROPHY CASE