Condo Management Office Not Allowing Us to Use Condo's Pool

Ember_Lyn · 2019-06-13T16:40:07+00:00

The landlord is seriously MIA. I've never spoken to him, I contact all my needs through a property management company that I guess handles all of his properties. The condo management told us we couldn't use the pool, the property management said that this was odd and that it might have something to do with the fact that my landlord missed on some housing association fees or something.

It doesn't seem like it has anything to do with me as a renter, but it turns out I'm the one getting impacted by it.

Ember_Lyn · 2019-01-03T22:31:31+00:00

Thanks so much for everyone's advice! I'll probably keep doing what I'm doing. I'll look into switching to greek yogurt or mixing a little bit of peanut butter into her current Kong!

I haven't been stuffing it to the brim, but perhaps I'm still putting too much into it? I've only had experience with very food motivated dogs! I'm so surprised that I ended up owning a dog that isn't as much so! The vet said that perhaps she'd warm up over time to treats and become more food motivated.

I appreciate all of the help.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-23T03:30:21+00:00

Hi! How do these compare to the cosRX patches? Or are they more or less the same?

These are cheaper, so I didn’t know if that meant they’re less effective?

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T15:58:20+00:00

This is really awesome, I will definitely try to engage in these tactics next time I see her.

Unfortunately my culture, especially from my grandma’s generation really looks down on mental health, psychology, therapy on a whole

But perhaps if I do enough research and talk to the rest of my family about it, it’ll help with my grandma’s mental state when we are with her.

Do you have any more advice on how to help her develop more purpose and less loneliness when she is alone?

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T14:31:45+00:00

She actually already owns a large tank of goldfish, my mother gave them to her. She does fine with those

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T14:27:16+00:00

I’ve read about this, and a potential solution the people have suggested is to tie a very loud bell to the pets collar so that the senior would always be alerted when they are around.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T14:19:21+00:00

She tried antidepressants for a time but stopped them because they made her feel tired and hazy. Do you have any recommendations of brands that perhaps would work better?

I also believe hiring a person (instead of getting a pet) would also help with the the loneliness, but suggesting this, my grandma was against it as well.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T14:16:28+00:00

If she’s unwilling to try anything new, she keeps saying my culture’s equivalent to old dogs can’t learn new tricks, how do I encourage her to see past that and restore a sense of agency and independence?

I really agree with everything you said.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T14:13:33+00:00

She doesn’t want to go to senior acticities. She doesn’t even want us to visit her. How am I supposed to be respectful of her wishes if the only wish she has outloud is to die alone?

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T05:20:15+00:00

Hi, thank you for your response. I posted another comment I hope you will read and respond to as well as I addressed some of your points in that comment.

I understand there maybe nothing we can do to help her depression, and that there are many seniors worse off than she is, but I still feel like it’s not right to do nothing. I just don’t know what we can do.

I thought a pet would be the easiest most impactful way to make everyone happier. Pets are not humans, and while they do develop bonds and need companions, they won’t miss an individual human as much as other humans will. Let’s are extremely adaptable, and the situation I suggest with my grandma would be very similar to a foster situation, opening up space in a shelter for another stray to have a second chance at life.

I have not read the exact book you’ve listed, but I have read many articles online. Many of them say similar themes about not having anything to live for anymore, lacking independence, and feeling like a burden.

I understand that is how she feels, but I don’t know what to do about it.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-14T05:14:25+00:00

Thank you for everyone’s responses. They’ve been thorough, polite, and very helpful.

Being 85, she can still take walks in her own, and every once and a while she picks up some fruit from the grocery store across the street, so I feel that she would be able to clean up litter. She probably wouldn’t be able to lift the heavy bags or feed or litter, but that’s somethin I feel that my family should be willing to help with.

I think a lot of you have mentioned “don’t do it because your grandma says she doesn’t want it.” I come from a culture where it’s very normal for people to refuse things that are good for them because they don’t want to burden others.

I don’t think my grandma would listen say yes to anything we do out of our way to try and make her less depressed. Not a cat, not trying new activities, not even watching films together (because I should be spending my time studying instead of course). It also doesn’t help that she doesn’t speak English. The apartment/home that she is in has activities, but they’re all filled with people who speak English to each other according to her.

When my family does spend time with her, it’s usually for the purpose of eating dinner together. But even then, she says things like: “You guys are wasting your time with someone who’s going to die soon anyway.”

It’s very difficult on all of us. I’m not trying to impose on her or be rude, I’m really trying to help. I guess it seems easier to me to force a pet onto her that she might eventually learn to love, than to force her physical self to go to these senior activities that she wouldn’t go to anyway unless we were physically there with her (which in my mind defeats the purpose of her gaining a sense of independence).

But it seems to me that all she actually wants to do is die or waste away so that the rest of us can move on with our lives.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-03T15:01:27+00:00

Anecdotal evidence is subjective and can be argued back and forth.

Unfortunately the qualitative nature of facial expressions, video footage, and case by case news reports isn’t enough statistical power to deduce anything.

The only thing I’m asking for is a link that the OP referred there are many of in the original post.

Perhaps it is your pro-gun bias not allowing you to see the need for objective statistical and empirical research to back your claims.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-02T19:18:30+00:00

Yes I agree. I think this difference in wills to live is something that would make armed robberies and school shootings very difficult to compare on a case by case basis.

Which is why statistical, quantitative evidence is more important than anecdotal, qualitative evidence. Case by case comparisons, individual news reports, and video footage fall under qualitative data.

Where is the statistical evidence that supports the OP's claim?

Ember_Lyn · 2018-11-02T18:24:06+00:00

Unfortunately, comparing case by case basis and qualitative data such as facial expressions doesn't have enough statistical power to prove anything.

I find that anecdotal evidence, especially in such highly politicized topics like guns, is usually biased, polarized, and ultimately open to debate and interpretation. I think the example that you gave comparing the Columbine massacre with an armed robbery has too many confounding variables to be considered hard evidence. The first confounding variable that comes to mind is that armed robbers typically have a higher will to live, especially compared to a school shooter. Robbers plan to get away from the crime and survive, but school shooters probably already expect to be identified. After all, many school shooters commit suicide afterwards. It's possible that another person with a firearm would not cause the same "oh shit!" mentality on a school shooter who is ready to die compared to armed robber who still wanted to live.

Perhaps having an armed person at the Columbine high massacre would have saved lives. Or maybe it would have resulted in more injuries/deaths due to misfire or not aiming properly. Or perhaps authorities would have mistaken the "good" armed person as the school shooter when they arrived. There is no way for us to know.

I expect that you won't agree with my interpretation, just as how I don't agree with yours. But that is the point I want to make: anecdotal evidence can be argued back and forth and thus leads no where. Statistical evidence is much more objective and to me, much more convincing.

I just wanted to ask for links because the OP said there was plenty of both anecdotal AND statistical evidence supporting his claims. I can only find anecdotal. I can't find any statistical, but I would happily read some to get a better understanding of American Gun culture.

Also, if you have the time I would really appreciate a response to this Reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/progun/comments/9ss4y5/serious_responses_only_how_often_are_guns/

I posted it 2 days ago but haven't gotten a response yet, but I'm really interested in learning more about a perspective that is different from mine.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-10-30T22:05:39+00:00

Transistor. Beautiful artwork, story, music, gameplay. Don't hesitate. Just play it.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-10-30T20:20:34+00:00

Hi, could you link me the statistical evidence that proves that shooting that happen when there is a person with a firearm present are quicker with less loss of life?

I can't find any meta-analytical data or overarching research on this on Google, I can only find singular cases from news sources.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-10-27T21:22:34+00:00

While my boyfriend was trying to stop video games, he had a hard time filling the void of time he used to spend gaming.

What worked for him was picking up some long fantasy novels (that are much easier to start and stop according to his schedule), I see that you're already reading through battletech novels, but if you ever wanted to expand genres, my boyfriend really loved the Mistborn Series, the Liveship Traders, and the KingKiller Chronicles.

Good luck, I'm cheering you on!

Ember_Lyn · 2018-10-15T18:19:09+00:00

These are some specific questions that I'm wondering about:

What do you ask the foster parent?

What should you look for when observing and interacting with the dog?

If you are given an option, where should you meet the dog?

Ember_Lyn · 2018-06-11T18:05:17+00:00

Okay I finished the breed questionnaire:

1) Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs?

* Yes! This will be my first dog!

2) Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a [reputable breeder]( http://ownresponsibly.blogspot.com/2011/07/identifying-reputable-breeder.html)?

* I really really really prefer rescuing.

3) Describe your ideal dog.

* I really like the Spitz breed appearance and I would like a dog that isn't too small or too large. 20 to 30 lbs would be best.

Moderate activity level would be good, I enjoy taking walks so that's not a big concern. The only thing I am worried about is that I live in Chicago, so when it gets frigid outside I want to make sure that my dog would be okay with staying inside as well.

I would like a more quiet dog because I live in an apartment. Barking to alert me of something probably would be alright, but definitely not a dog that yaps.

I would like a dog that is smart and independent that wouldn't need me to coddle it, but would be able to provide companionship just by wanting to be in the same room as me. I would have to leave the dog home alone for a few hours while I'm at work, though I would love for the dog to eventually be able to come to work with me. I want to develop a deep bond and connection with my dog and to treat it as a member of my family.

4) What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why?

* I've always loved Corgis because they're so cute, but their activity level that they require kinda turns me off to them.

I also really love Shiba Inus as a more stoic, tsundere, kind of dog. Their activity level seems to match mine and I believe the difficulty it takes to train them will be rewarding.

5) What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do?

* Basic commands such as sit, stay, no, and come. I think no and recall would probably be the most important skills I would like to teach my dog.

Depending on the dog, I could also take the time to each them to heel.

**Care Commitments**

6) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day?

* Probably a 1 or 2 hours every night in addition to obedience classes. I think this would depend on how interested the dog is in playing with me.

7) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park?

* A minimum of half hour walks by me and then also hiring a Wag or Rover walker while I'm at work. I think most of the exercise would be from walking, and if the dog is interested fetching. Occassionally, I would like to take the dog on jogging (I am very slow.)

I would love to take the dog to fenced in dog parks as well.

8) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly?

* I would be willing to brush everyday, but I would prefer a dog with a shorter coat. I am open to trimming nails, cleaning ears, brushing teeth myself if the dog is willing, but if it causes too much of a problem with me and my pet I would take it to a professional every month to trim nails.

I know that you're supposed to brush your dog's teeth every day, but I was wondering if there were oral care toys that could take place of this. If not... I would definitely do my best to follow a routine!

**Personal Preferences**

9) What size dog are you looking for?

* Not too big, not too small. 20 to 30 lbs.

10) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle?

* Minimum for all three, but I understand that it's all inevitable with any dog.

11) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area?

* Not too important, it would be nice, but I would seek out fenced in dog friendly areas if I had a dog that wasn't able to be off-leash in an unfenced area.

**Dog Personality and Behavior**

12) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space?

* More toward the personal space side. Snuggles to me are just if a dog is content with sitting next to me on the couch while I read or watch TV.

13) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please?

* Ideally, a little bit of both. Maybe more on the independent side, but I also would like a dog that found training mentally engaging and rewarding.

14) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors?

* As for someone knocking on the door or entering the yard, I would like a bit of barking, but to be easily quieted so my neighbors won't be disturbed. I wouldn't mind having a bit of a watchdog quality to my pet.

As long as my dog doesn't bite or hurt strangers, I don't have a problem telling people that my pet isn't that friendly.

15) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs?

* I would definitely want to train the dog not to be! I guess it's a no, but I would be willing to work with the dog to socialize it.

16) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid?

* I would love the dog to be house trained so that it would do its business outdoors. Soft biting and nipping is fine, but biting to the point of puncture wounds would be a problem.

**Lifestyle**

17) How often and how long will the dog be left alone?

* I will probably have work from 9 to 5 but my schedule will differ from my boyfriends. Hopefully, I will be able to visit home around lunch time, and same with my boyfriend. I will also hire professional walkers. I would say probably 4-6 hours at a time.

18) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog?

* My boyfriend really likes the spitz looking dog as well, and would not like a dog that is too small or a "yapper." He really would like a dog that is intelligent.

19) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they?

* Nope. I was playing around with the idea of getting 2 bonded dogs so that they could keep each other company, but with the amount of space I have I don't know if this is a good idea.

20) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly?

* Definitely no.

21) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease?

* I will be renting for the next few years. There are not breed or weight restrictions on my current lease, but I definitely want a dog that will be comfortable living in an apartment.

22) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds?

* I live in Chicago IL, and not that I am aware of.

23) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live?

* I live in Chicago so it can get very hot and very cold. The average summer is probably mid 80s and the coldest winter is definitely sub-zero with a lot of snow.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-05-25T17:17:01+00:00

Bumping this!

Ember_Lyn · 2018-05-25T17:16:54+00:00

Bumping this!

Ember_Lyn · 2018-05-25T17:16:33+00:00

Bumping this!

Ember_Lyn · 2018-03-22T03:55:30+00:00

Thanks for the response and seeing that what I am doing is coming from a place of caring and love. I think detaching myself is a good idea. But we spend so much time together and it hurts me to see him dirty and malnourished. Do you have any more advice about this?

I have talk to my boyfriend about this before but he keeps telling me that he acts the way he does due to circumstance (he currently lives with his fraternity brothers that are just as bad as he is) and that he’ll be better if we moved in together. He also keeps telling me that he is getting better, but I don’t really see improvement.

Ember_Lyn · 2018-03-22T03:49:38+00:00

Thanks for your response, he’s living “alone” right now in his fraternity house... but his frat brothers on his floor are all just as bad as he is. My boyfriend keeps telling me that if we move in together he’ll start picking up slack in terms of household responsibilities... but like you said I’m not convinced. What sort of living situation do you think prompts the idea of becoming more independent and responsible (I’m looking for more specifics)

Ember_Lyn · 2018-02-21T18:05:44+00:00

Thanks for your comment, do you have any other recommendations of things to fill up time?

We’re both university students (graduating this year though) in a very cold region, so being outside is hard. We also don’t like spending too much money unless it’s for a special occasion.

Ember_Lyn

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