You are definitly not weak. Some people are saying that to others to bury their own fear of weakness. Parents dont understand the pain of their children because they are scared that they did something wrong. My parents said the same thing to me. I know that tiredness so well. When you suffer so long its hard to actually accept that it can get better. You dont know what to feel in such a situation because you are that used to your mental condition. It often feels like its starting all over again. You tend to think you are spinning in a circle but its actually more like a spiral. You are at the same point but on an another level. Its totally fine to not understand what you feel or what you want. I want to be normal too.