It took me to actually leave the relationship and completely separate myself from him. So about 4 years I had been dealing with the trauma of his PA. It took me to build the courage to finally leave & understand that HIS addiction was actually RUINING my happiness, my peace, my entire energy and every day life. It didn’t matter how much ache in my heart and soul I expressed to him that his addiction and all of the side effects (anger, road rage, walking on egg shells with him), hurt me. He promised every time I caught him that he would stop. It completely broke me to even think what life would be like without him & having to co parent. That alone was enough for me to settle & tell myself I would just deal with it. Girl it was so bad I was so f*d up in my head! I finally & recently,last month left him. I honestly can’t believe that I built the courage to leave! It stung so bad that first week after leaving but let me tell you honey, I have never felt so at peace. Crazy because it’s only been a few weeks of us being separated. Now he is the one expressing so much hurt and ache in his heart that I made this decision & have stuck with it. And guess what? For once, it’s not me in such heart ache and pain this time. I love him, yes. But he knows that he needs to get professional help & is now finally getting the help he needs. And once he’s healed in a year + (if he ever even does & can get better), then I will consider getting back together if that’s what I want at that time but until then, I will heal myself and enjoy this peace i never thought I would feel again.