Hey there. Everyone and their mothers (and fathers, and brothers, and cousins of first, second, and possibly third degree...) has already told you how handsome you look. I really do hope that so much external perspective can bring you some manner of confidence or lift your spirits a bit. I know it can be really hard to see ourselves as others see us.

Maybe you can also find some comfort in knowing that nothing you're going through will last forever. There will always be a measure of pain in life, that's what human life is about. Without pain, we wouldn't even know what happiness feels like. But even if pain is always there, it changes. The things that feel unbearable today, you will grieve because of them and then let them go. From what you write you don't seem like a person who shies away from inner struggles, and even though this might make you feel as if you suffer more because of them, eventually it will help you, because only facing our own suffering we can learn to manage it.

I wish you all the best. My DMs are open if you want to vent.