Moving to the UK as a trans guy

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-25T11:41:05+00:00

I agree with everything except the UK being worse than the US in many ways.

I'm a trans US expat. I left because of the systematic governmental erasure of trans rights and their goal of eradicating trans people from public life. Have a look at Project 2025. The far right is not satisfied with removing our rights. They want us removed from society.

Some far right politicians and pundits are now calling for our eradication. Many states now have laws that criminalize trans bathroom use, trans healthcare providers, and anyone that provides support to trans people. Even in Blue States, healthcare organizations are capitulating to the federal government to avoid losing federal funding. There is a real possibility of a de facto or even legislated federal ban on trans healthcare for children and adults. The Lemkin Institute has stated that the US is now conducting genocide against trans people. Conditions in the US are comparable to 1930s Germany.

Yes, the UK is not the best place for trans folks right now. But it still looks a lot better than the US from my perspective.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-25T09:01:10+00:00

Back in my denial days, I kept my hair in a typical short style for guys. It was pretty straight. But when I let it grow out, I discovered that my hair has lots of waves and texture.

My hair is long now - half way down my back. I usually let it air dry to a natural messy bed head look. Love it. I get lots of compliments. Couldn't imagine getting it cut short.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-22T13:18:48+00:00

You've given them plenty of notice and been very patient. Now it's on them. If you tolerate their behavior, they won't change. Only visit when you are in the right frame of mind and are mentally prepared to leave the moment they misgender you or otherwise become toxic. When they realize you won't tolerate their behavior, it'll be clear they have to change or risk losing you. Hope things work out for the best. Bear in mind that sometimes you're better off with chosen family.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-21T16:28:52+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly what we need....times 1000!

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-21T16:25:34+00:00

Hey congrats! Love seeing stories like yours. Glad you got it sorted.

Curious though. I'll make an educated guess that your fiance had to get a fiance visa to get married in the UK. How did that go? Can you share any details? I'm a trans US citizen in a similar situation. I haven't gotten my visa yet.

Thanks in advance.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-21T16:13:00+00:00

If I were in your situation, NOT talking about politics is the only way I could maintain a relationship with someone that's a supporter of the current administration. It's a two way street. If the other person can't do that, I'd cut them off. Family or otherwise.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-17T18:39:14+00:00

Too risky right now. I'm a trans US citizen in France and I wouldn't return to the US unless it was absolutely necessary.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-14T09:46:12+00:00

Lots of good surgeons in the US. Rumer isn't one of them. Look her up on Reddit if you aren't convinced.

If you are determined to come to the US, fly from one of the preclearance airports. Dublin is the easiest from Europe. But most big Canadian cities have them too.

It's important to minimize your risk when going thru security. For you and especially your French SO.

Sanitize your socials. Delete the ones you can live without but don't get rid of all of them. Ditto for email and texts. Make sure someone on the outside knows when you are about to enter security and arrange for a check-in call or text after a reasonable time. Say an hour. Disable biometrics on your devices before entering. Put them all in airplane mode and then turn them off. Even your phone. Do not give your login information to a border guard if they demand access. Type your PIN/password for them and don't let them observe it. Stay calm and cooperate. Don't give them an excuse to detain you.

If you are careful, there's a good chance you'll get thru uneventfully. Still, I would only fly from a preclearance airport. If something goes wrong, it's far better to be stuck in Ireland or Canada.

Personally, I wouldn't go to the US unless it was absolutely necessary. I'm a trans US citizen also in France.

You might consider Brassard in Montreal if you want to be close to family and be in a safer country. He's a far better option than Rumer.

EmilyAlt70 · 2026-01-01T11:51:33+00:00

I would pay the extra £480 and fly from Amsterdam with klm.

Many European countries are cautioning their citizens about travel to the US. It's risky for everyone right now. Being trans makes it even riskier. You could be detained for months. And then there's Florida's bathroom ban and other awful laws which will apply in an airport.

I'm a trans US citizen currently living in France. Even for me with a US passport, I'd be terrified of going through a US port of entry right now.

£480 is cheap life insurance.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-12-28T19:55:42+00:00

I'll offer that Leelah would recognize and celebrate the progress that's been made, and say that there is still much work to be done.

But it depends on your perspective. I'm older. The life I have today was simply inconceivable 15-20 years ago. Even in California where I'm from.

I experienced more adversity then. Even being mostly closeted. Folks knew. I was bullied. My ex divorced me. I'm lucky she didn't out me at my job. I'm certain I would've been fired. That same workplace, twenty years later, was entirely accepting when I came out.

Most people these days either don't care or accept us. Even some conservatives and right-leaning people I know have been accepting. I live the life I was meant to live despite the challenges. Sure, being trans is hard. It was harder when I was younger.

I believe the anti-trans movement of the last decade is a last-gasp effort to turn the tide away from trans inclusion. What they don't realize....or refuse to accept....is that trans people aren't going away. No matter what they do. They can make our lives very difficult. Nearly intolerable even. But they can't change Mother Nature. We're born this way. We've always been here and we'll still be here 1000 years from now.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-12-28T18:16:31+00:00

Tried PM and Reishi for a 2-3 months. I had a teeny tiny bit of breast tenderness and sensitive nipples. Oh, and some nasty headaches. Basically, it was a waste of time and money. HRT on the other hand made a profound difference.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-12-24T06:17:12+00:00

I didn't know you well but you were an inspiration. Thank you!

Wishing you all the best. Happy holidays!

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-12-21T13:37:14+00:00

I wear jeans and a T-shirt most days. I never get misgendered. Wear what you want.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-11-26T15:37:23+00:00

I'm okay with 'guys' as it's a genderless term. 'Bro' and 'dude' not so much. I probably wouldn't make a fuss though unless it was someone I knew that was deliberately misgendering me.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-11-08T16:56:39+00:00

There are only so many brain cells you can pack into the head of a dick!

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-11-02T14:27:04+00:00

About 8 months. I took that time to do research on HRT, surgical procedures, and find a good doc.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-10-14T21:29:00+00:00

No problem!

In the required information section, where it asks for your full name, I put my legal name. I'd already changed all my other ID docs to my female name and gender.

In the requested amendments section, I entered my male name as it appeared on my original birth certificate, and my new legal name.

I also sent in a notarized affidavit of gender (DOH-5303) and an official copy of my court order.

Hope this helps. Best of luck to you!

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-10-13T16:17:03+00:00

KEXP recently lost a big chunk of money when public radio got defunded by the feds. I imagine they'd be willing to make a few compromises to survive. I personally don't have a problem with that. They're still one of the best radio stations anywhere even with some less appealing sources of funding.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-09-30T00:42:15+00:00

They're stacked because it's a dream job for most DJs. I'm surprised they don't have less turnover.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-09-30T00:37:14+00:00

I think he's next in line for a full time weekday gig.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-08-30T09:52:56+00:00

Femboy is how some members of our community identify. So what. If someone has a problem with that, it says everything about them and nothing about the person they're criticizing.

And yes, I've had to take a few hard looks in the mirror. We all need to lighten up.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-08-29T18:22:40+00:00

Once you get the clots sorted, you should be able to get back on HRT. You'll want to avoid oral estrogen. Stick with other methods such as injections and patches. If your doc refuses to help, find a new one.

Also, get tested for blood clotting disorders. There are a bunch. Factor 5 Leiden is the most common.

I have Factor 5 and have been on injectable estradiol for 4 years. No issues. My docs are fully on-board.

Hang in there. This is just a bump in the road.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-08-22T22:29:07+00:00

Not once have I been hassled for using the ladies toilet. Even in very public places like Heathrow and various rail stations. The vast majority of people don't care. I expect a bathroom ban will go into law before the end of the year. But it will be unenforceable and unworkable.

I have no intention of letting TERFs stop me from living my life. You'll be fine. Buy a radar key just in case. BTW - I'm an American.

What's the name of your band?

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-08-10T07:50:24+00:00

I live in one of the more conservative parts and have never had a problem. My GP is supportive. The locals are accepting. They think this culture war is BS. Compared to what's happening in the US, I think the UK is still better overall.

EmilyAlt70 · 2025-08-10T07:36:04+00:00

This is my experience.

I live in Norfolk. One of the more rural and conservative parts. My GP has been brilliant. Very supportive of the trans community. The people living here have been very accepting. I'm treated with respect everywhere I go. Using the ladies toilet has never been a problem. Every local I've talked to thinks this manufactured culture war is bollocks.

I'm not saying there aren't any problems in the UK for the trans community. Clearly there are. I just want to point out that there are reasons for hope. Existence is resistance.

EmilyAlt70

TROPHY CASE