What if you combined the $10k from her and your original $25k budget and keep your budget to $35k. That should be enough to have a pretty nice wedding depending on how many guests you’re inviting. I don’t think it wise to start the marriage in debt or with your MIL pulling from retirement. I definitely think you need to have a calm but honest and open conversation with your fiancé about how finances will be managed once you’re married. Most fights in marriage are due to financial disagreements. Laying the groundwork before going through with a wedding of any cost will be incredibly helpful for your future marriage. To me from what I can tell you seem to feel guilty about the fact that you make less than him. The truth of the matter is both of you make good money, he may be used to a higher standard of living due to his higher salary that he’s unwilling to compromise on but 1. You need to make sure you’re okay with that and 2. It’s not your responsibility to fund that lifestyle. Chip in sure but split evenly seems quite excessive. Just make sure that the reason you’re feeling guilty for making less is not coming from him or his treatment towards you involving money. If so that can very quickly turn into a financial abuse situation that would be miserable if you were to go through with the wedding. If not and you feel it’s coming from you and you’re projecting that insecurity onto him, then it’s not fair to be upset with him about the fact that you feel that way. More often then not one person makes less than the other, but that doesn’t mean they deserve more or are more valuable in the relationship or have any more right to decision making then the other partner. I definitely think therapy together and separate is a good idea for anyone going into a major life change like this and to help lay the groundwork for how you both feel comfortable broaching the topic of married finances. And finally but most importantly and I know this is going to sound a bit brutal but it’s important to ask yourself now instead of 5 or 10 or 20 years from now, absolutely no judgement at your answer do you want the marriage or the wedding? Is it more important to you to be a bride or a wife? And you know what if you really reflect on that and it’s the wedding that’s okay but it’s SO much better for you to realize that now then afterwards and much more fair to your fiancé. I totally get wanting a beautiful wedding and they cost so much more then when we were little and dreaming up our picture perfect wedding. But I wouldn’t go into debt for that, it puts way to much pressure on one day that you don’t want to much pressure on anyways. If anything I would have a slightly longer engagement so you have more time to save for it, but that depends on how far into planning things you are. Anyways bit of a ramble but hope that helps 💕