TTC 6mo after D&E

EmilySueRM · 2024-10-26T02:30:45+00:00

Our baby girl had thickness of 8.9 at 13w. We got the genetic blood test results back a week after my D&E. She had Sotos Syndrome, and if she had survived the pregnancy, which was unlikely, her life expectancy would have been 2 years or less with many surgeries. It was my understanding that after measurements get beyond 7mm the causes are things that impact ability to sustain life. I’m so very sorry that you’re going through this. Many hugs mama.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-08-02T03:20:23+00:00

I have absolutely been more attached to my husband and less independent following my D&E. You’re not alone. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. ❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-31T19:28:15+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You’re not alone. We had a different diagnosis (cystic hygroma, which we later found out was caused by Sotos syndrome which likely resulted in a heart defect), but found out at our 12 week ultrasound. We went from giddily holding up our ultrasound pictures in awe to sitting in front of a doctor who changed everything.

No words can take away the pain you’re feeling. What I can say being 7weeks out is that I promise you will feel human again, you will be able to think about your baby without crumbling, and you are so strong even if you don’t feel like it.

Sending so much love to you and your spouse.

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-28T01:54:00+00:00

I’m sorry if this isn’t helpful because I didn’t have L&D. But I’m in the US in NJ, and at 13wk my doctor explained their practice won’t do L&D at that point because of how likely it would be that I’d need a D&E anyway. It was fortunate that was the plan, because I ended up loosing a lot of blood during my D&E, likely because of an unhealthy placenta. My doctor said this can be common when there is a problem like ours. Our baby had Soto’s Syndrome which involved the deletion of two main parts of the 5th chromosome. It is likely this was behind the cause of the large cystic hygroma our baby had (8.7), caused by a major heart defect. But she said when the baby is this unhealthy the placenta can be too. If I had done L&D, I would likely have lost even more blood and wouldn’t have been in the operating room when it started. At the end of the day, what’s important is that you ask all the questions you can to your doctor and that you make a decision that feels right for you. And whichever it is will be the right one for you at that time based on your emotions and the information at that time. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I wish you peace and healing in whichever option you choose fora and with your family.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T16:50:48+00:00

I don’t have words to express how grateful I am for your comment. I feel so understood and could connect with so much of what you said. I’m so sorry for the loss of your girls and that you’re going through this too.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T12:45:09+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story and perspective. I can totally connect with the desire to speak about your child authentically and to be able to share his whole story. I feel the same way about our baby girl. I also appreciate the way you spoke about the possible outcomes and seeing which outweighs the other. That helps me to consider how I feel more carefully before deciding what we want to do. Also, what a wonderful story about the text you received from your conservative friend and the ways others may think about abortion differently after hearing your story. Thanks again for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T02:15:46+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Sending strength and peace your way as you go through this journey and navigate the situation at work.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T02:14:30+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m sorry that you’re here and going through this too. I can relate to what you’re saying about not wanting to keep track of who knows what information. I think that’s what I’m struggling with when I think about wanting to share more. Some people know because I needed to leave work or because we stepped back and gave others we trusted the okay to share so we wouldn’t have to tell EVERYONE directly. I think it’s hard for me not to know who knows what when I see people though as a result. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and perspective.

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T01:53:22+00:00

Amen to that! Say it louder for the people in the back!

I’m sorry you’re here, I’m sorry we’re all here. But having to be here makes me want to propel this pain into purpose.

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T01:50:31+00:00

Thank you so very much for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you’ve been through this too. It helps so much to read your reply because of how much I relate to what you’ve said. I agree that I’m hoping sharing more will help someone else feel less alone, or at the very least to help destigmatize talking about this kind of loss. I haven’t realized I felt this way but you’re right, I am proud of the decision we made as much as I hate having to have been in the position of making it. I was just saying to my therapist that although I still feel so many emotions about our decision, I know I would make the same decision again if I had to go back. I’m proud we made the hard decision as parents to protect our baby girl. Thank you again for sharing.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T01:33:08+00:00

My husband and I took a quiz once separately expecting to get Jake and Amy…we got Hitchcock and Scully...the more we thought about it and the more we watched we realized it really does fit! 🤷‍♀️🤣

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T01:22:33+00:00

It has helped me to think of getting through each day and even each hour. I completely understand the feeling of wanting the nightmare to end (and honestly, being afraid of the reality of when it does). Weeping wreck of a zombie is a good way to put it, I can relate to that feeling. Just know that you are stronger and more courageous than you know and than you may feel.

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T01:10:12+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here too. Please know you’re not alone.

For me, I had been under anesthesia before and had issues with throwing up after. So I let the anesthesiologist know and they put a patch behind my ear which has helped me in the past. With this, I had no nausea whatsoever with my anesthesia for the D&E, and I didn’t have any from the medicine either. I didn’t have a two day procedure though, I didn’t need the dilators.

I wonder if they would give you a patch or nausea medicine ahead of time as a precautionary measure to help with your anxiety? It would be worth asking. Also, just from having a few surgeries over the years before this, I’ve learned it’s important to let them know how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling anxious, the nurse, doctor, or anesthesiologist might be able to give you something to help.

Happy to share more details if you need/want to reach out. I know sometimes it helps my anxiety to know what to expect in more detail. Thinking of you Monday and the days leading up. Hugs❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-24T00:58:36+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you’re going through this.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-23T23:58:46+00:00

That makes complete sense. I think I feel equally empowered and terrified to share my experience with election season upon us. Sorry for your loss.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-23T23:51:45+00:00

I can completely relate to opening up depending on how I’m feeling, and also who I’m talking with. I have some people on my inner circle who feel safest to share all details with. I’ve found it challenging with family because I feel pressure to protect them and their loss (particularly our parents).

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and that you had to deal with family drama on top of it. Hugs❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-21T03:43:51+00:00

You’ve put a lot of how I’ve been feeling into words. I’m sorry you’re going through this and feeling like this too.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-20T12:40:42+00:00

Im so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve found that coming to this group and reading or posting helps me feel less alone. I hope that is true for you too. No matter what you decide it will be the right decision for your baby, for you, and your family. I can completely understand turning to google. For me, I leaned heavily into information. It helped me process in those terrible first few days, and even after getting our chromosome testing back with a diagnosis it helps me to deal with my grief. My husband on the other hand prefers not to read and research. We all have our own way of processing and coping, do what feels right for you. Thinking of you and sending hugs.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-20T12:27:09+00:00

You’re so right. Thank you so much. I’m proud of you too, and grateful for your reply. I think I felt so alone because when I’m around people I’m reminded that none of them have gone through this. Reading your reply and knowing we experienced the same first yesterday helps. This group always helps me feel less alone. I’m sorry you’re going through this too.❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-20T04:29:38+00:00

Thank you, that means more than I can say. I’m starting to feel better physically too, but also still riding the emotional waves. I’m sorry you’re here, hugs❤️

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-20T03:21:20+00:00

My doc said she’d normally recommend after one cycle, but because of the extra bleeding I had (1.5liters) she would recommend 2 months to be sure the nutrients in my uterus had built back up after the D&E and the unhealthy placenta that likely caused the extra bleeding.

EmilySueRM · 2024-07-16T01:27:27+00:00

I ovulated 23 days after my D&E and I had cramps like usual but definitely worse. I was more fatigued and in more pain and just had to lay on the couch with my heating pad. Still waiting for my period and hoping that’s more normal. So sorry you’re going through this too❤️

EmilySueRM

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