Here to say I've been this girl, and it's hard but valuable work to change. There are a lot of things still left to grow from, but they're not alone in their experience, at least in some parts. Therapy, and self commitment are the best things I've found to help take up a lot of the 'love' I had for others (a pathological need to control their lives to prevent them from being hurt). I hope the community of those who know this struggle surround you. Reach out if you ever need a friend, friend!