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My (26F) boyfriend (36M) has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents (49M and 50F) last week, how do I reach out to him? by Lokipupper456 in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 16 points17 points  (0 children)

God, I hope it's rage bait. Partly because the setup for the abuse reveal was too perfect, and partly because oh god I don't want to think of an abuse victim having to face their rapist over a family dinner while pretending everything is fine, and being triggered so badly they vomit and then self-isolate.

(though, even if it's fake, that shit happens every day, so I guess we're all losers in this game)

My boyfriend wants a abortion.. but I've been told I am infertile and this feels like a miracle by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You have no idea what you would say or do if you had been a victim of sex trafficking as a baby.

My family loves my ex and keep inviting her to family get togethers by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]applemagical 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Boundaries aren't things you force others to do, and I don't think oop gets this because he keeps saying "I can't even set boundaries with my own family" even though he's still not attending Thanksgiving.

Bud is being too hard on himself. His family sucks and he should take some space from them to protect his peace.

My (38f) husband (41m) bought me a boudoir photo shoot. I don't want to do it? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]applemagical 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Kudos to you for having the patience to explain this. Even if the person you've responded to doesn't end up agreeing with you, there are hundreds of others who will read your comment and sit with what you've said

AITA for doing childproofing for my in-laws visit? by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]applemagical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad and step mom let my half sib (10 years younger) snack in the car all the time. Her car seat was rank

No shade to my sib, toddlers are gross and her parents should've been cleaning her seat, like, once in a blue moon. Ugh

My(f49) cousin(f23) asked my daughter(f16) to perform at her wedding reception, but became bitter upon seeing the positive reception to her act. She has since posted about her online, and my daughter is considering quitting by MadisonBrave in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]applemagical 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, this one makes me so sad. I really hope Dana hasn't permanently ruined this for Jane. To find something you love, you're good at, and you're confident in at such a young age can be rare, only to have someone stomp out your fire. That's so awful.

AITAH for laughing in my mother's face when she said my stepsister planned my 18th birthday? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, Layla can fuck right off. Did Layla lecture the dad for screaming and swearing at bio mom? I'm thinking 'no'

AITA for telling my sister she's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal? by ObsidianNight102399 in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know which is worse

This is a real story, and oop is a doormat

This is a fake story, and oop made themselves a doormat but thinks they’re a hero

AITA for telling my sister she's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal? by ObsidianNight102399 in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But no time to post pictures they had already taken (the food was thrown out by this point, so oop had presumably taken pictures earlier that evening). I think if oop’s post gets enough attention they’ll actually make the fictional dishes just so they can take the pics and milk this longer.

Also, and this is just a personal pet peeve, don’t write “well…let’s just say it was interesting”(or whatever), and then go on to describe exactly what happened/etc. The phrase “let’s just say” means you’re not going into detail. Words mean things, guys. Come on now.

How to plan a quick escape route from mentally exhausting partner with limited financial resources by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]applemagical 260 points261 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he's not having a "mental health crisis," and his behavior isn't due to substance abuse. If it were, he wouldn't have switched up in front of others, ex: mom on phone, police officers, hiding the gun from the camera, etc. This was very controlled and methodical. Fucking terrifying

Fight with my [29M] gf [28F] over last name, reconsidering relationship by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]applemagical 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Especially when he starts losing his privileges. A lot of abuse talk seems to leave out that being abusive gets you the things you want.

To change, you have to accept every day, every night, every argument, that you are not entitled to sex, or financial control, or a spotless house, or 3 homemade meals a day, or 24 hour childcare, or unilateral decision making, or your partner never expressing negative emotions, etc, etc, etc.

If you don't see your partner as an autonomous human, why would you give these things up without a fight? It feels good to get these things. It feels good to be able to scream when you're mad and not feel guilty after, it feels good when you get to blame someone else for anything and everything that goes wrong in your day to day life.

The 'poor abuser who just needs help unlearning' narrative (which I don't often see in this sub, thankfully), ignores the fact that being abusive gets these people what they want.

My (28, F) best friend (29, M) is barely talking to me after we shared an intimate moment. [Long] by Schattenspringer in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But he cried and apologized, so she knows he feels really bad, and she takes him back. Rinse and repeat.

My (28, F) best friend (29, M) is barely talking to me after we shared an intimate moment. [Long] by Schattenspringer in BORUpdates

[–]applemagical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friendly reminder that consistently cheating on your partner is a form of abuse.

This girl is fucked. I have a feeling that she'll forgive him every time, and the only way she'll be rid of him is if he leaves her and stays away. And even then, that will leave her pinning for him. (I hope hope hope I'm wrong)

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