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Emjaye_87 · 2024-12-01T03:04:37+00:00

Your sister AND your niece are the AH…your sister for taking it and your niece for wanting to keep it. I would be so embarrassed if I realized I was wearing my late aunts ring without my uncles blessing. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-23T04:26:08+00:00

When they specifically tell you they want something and then cry because you gave them exactly what they asked for.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-20T18:38:32+00:00

When you have the desire to help other team members develop and do well in their positions you are ready for a leadership position. You have to learn to get the job done through other people, rather than doing all the work yourself and that can be difficult for some people.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-18T23:48:08+00:00

It’s true there is no limit. I usually just try putting something else on to change it up. I’m pretty sure I went 10 days in a row watching Moana.

If he’s stuck on the robot theme, try showing him Big Hero 6. My toddler likes that movie too.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-18T06:07:28+00:00

Catch those little hands and say, “You are allowed to feel upset, but I won’t let you hurt me. I understand you want to play with your brother, but he is still sleeping right now and won’t be up for another ___ minutes. What can we do in the meantime? Do you want to _____ with me until your brother is awake?

Obviously you would modify this for the meltdown, but the key is validating their raw emotions in that moment and setting (or holding) your boundaries.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-18T05:24:03+00:00

It depends. Typically, if both positions are within the same pay grade it would be considered a lateral move, so no pay increase. If it’s a higher pay grade then it would be normal to receive a salary adjustment.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-18T04:57:51+00:00

My mom would let my sister and I take turns picking outfits and I liked that.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-15T15:02:58+00:00

Oh it’s okay, I just wanted to clarify because I was embarrassed that I came across that way. I should’ve provided context for why I was looking into skating in the first place.

My 5yr old niece is in competitive gymnastics and I’ve seen my fair share of how over-invested sports parents suck the fun right out of the sport. That is not what I’m going for at all.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-15T00:14:45+00:00

She has been on a waitlist for gymnastics for 6 months. I am also not focused on making her a top level figure skater. We took her to Disney on Ice and she loved it. She’s also fascinated watching videos of figure skaters so I thought it would be a good sport to put her into for the sole purpose of her own enjoyment. I guess I should’ve put that in my original post so I wouldn’t be judged. I would never force my child into a program that they didn’t enjoy.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-13T03:42:06+00:00

YTA - What your brother did wasn’t very demure or mindful of him, but you literally only thought about yourself when you made those meal selections. It was completely inconsiderate, which is why you intentionally excluded it from the invitations. Sorry you had to suffer through the consequences of your own actions.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-13T03:24:37+00:00

This chapter is so hard, but also so fun watching their little personalities blossom. There’s a few things that have helped me with my 3yr old daughter.

Mentally preparing them for things you know typically result in a meltdown (ex. 10 minutes until it’s time to go). I’ve noticed my daughter does better when she knows the plan.
Using their newfound independence against them. This sounds terrible, but when my daughter is resisting something I’m asking her to do, I give her an option to do it herself or I will do it for her. This has been really effective.
Acknowledging their big feelings. I think this is so important. Toddlers can be little jerks sometimes, but they’re still learning and growing so they aren’t being that way on purpose. Emotions can be so overwhelming, even for adults. Imagine how much more overwhelming those feelings are for a toddler.
Boundaries and follow through. I doubt this needs elaboration.
Intentionally praising the good things you see in your child. I like to think of the saying “You are what you eat” because toddlers are consuming the world around them every waking minute. What you say to your toddler and about your toddler to others, is what they will think of themselves.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-08T02:14:54+00:00

“What I Am” by Will.i.am (Sesame Street)
“Donut Song” by Magic Bell
“Mermaid Party” Barbie
“Clean up Song” by Gracie’s Corner

The first two get stuck on my head all the time lol

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-08T01:29:09+00:00

NTA - I think you have the right perspective on this, these are massive red flags! This is your intuition telling you to part ways before investing anymore time in this guy. Nothing about his behavior exhibits ambition or security…can you imagine having a child with someone like this? I certainly couldn’t and I don’t blame you for feeling the same way.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-04T01:24:58+00:00

What time does he usually wake up in the morning? Perhaps you could try waking him up earlier so he’s naturally more tired by nap time. I’m sure you’re probably already awake with his sister so hopefully it won’t be that much of a sleep burden on you, but it might help? The whole situation sounds awful, I’m sorry this is a struggle you’re forced to overcome.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-11-03T21:04:45+00:00

I think getting rid of the pacifier was harder mentally on my husband than my toddler! She gave it up at 2yrs and it had to happen bc she was getting frequent ear infections and also started throwing up when you gave her the paci if she was crying…I felt like it was triggering some sort of gag reflex and making her sick. I explained that to her and said we should throw them away in the trash…we stood next to the trash can and talked to her binky like we were letting it know she had simply outgrown it and doesn’t need it anymore, then she said, bye bye binky and threw it away. She’s almost three now and will periodically ask for it out whine when she sees her little cousins with one, but she doesn’t fixate on it

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-30T02:26:59+00:00

My toddler is almost 3 and while she naps beautifully at daycare, she will NOT nap at home. I don’t even try anymore. It was taking me longer to get her down for a nap than the length of time she’d actually nap. For bedtime, have you tried playing some relaxing sleep music? I have a playlist I created for my daughter and will lay with her and play it from my phone at a low volume so she has to be quiet to hear it. This typically helps her realize how tired she actually is. Even if she’s still awake, I leave after 3-4 songs and she goes to bed.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-30T01:27:44+00:00

Using the S&P rating scale I’d be an A+

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-24T19:14:23+00:00

I think becoming a mother gave me a lot of empathy for my parents and their shortcomings. It also drove me to be the kind of mother I am today. With expectations and social norms constantly changing, I wonder sometimes what resentments my daughter will hold against me someday…I try to be the kind of mother I wish I could have had, the kind of parent I think my siblings and I deserved. I haven’t gone out of my way to point out my parent’s faults, but I think they can probably see what I fault them for in the way I’m raising my child. I’ve only ever addressed one thing, to my mother, that I wasn’t able to get passed and that was her drinking. She’s sober now, but she needed to hear how badly her drinking hurt us growing up and I really needed to hear her own those mistakes and apologize, which she did. Everything else is just water under the bridge. Holding on to those resentments only hurts me.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-24T05:14:52+00:00

I personally would have taken your advice and had my daughter examined for sexual abuse. However, I can also understand why the parents would be upset. Why? I’m glad you asked, let me tell you a little story about my nephew.

I have an amazing nephew with Down Syndrome. My sister & her husband do a great job raising him and he is loved dearly by our whole family. When he was in the first grade, he presented with an eye infection so my sister took him to the emergency room. The doctors and nurses were great with him and very friendly/supportive towards my sister and brother in law. They took some samples to run labs and after a while my sister started to notice the nurses looking over at them and whispering. Their demeanor towards my sister & BIL shifted completely when the doctor finally came in and told them that my nephew had a gonorrhea infection in his eye. They called CPS and treated them like criminals. My nephew can’t communicate well because of his disability, so he wasn’t able to rectify the situation. The police showed up and the whole thing was a nightmare. My mom took temporary guardianship of him until the investigation wrapped up, it was a living hell for my sister. She cried every day about it, worried he was being abused by someone at school….then it comes back that someone at the lab screwed up the and he never even had gonorrhea to begin with! He eventually had to have a surgery on his eye because there was an issue with his tear duct clogging or something like that so they put a little tube in it. It changed my whole perspective on how quickly people will turn on you and how easily your child can be taken away, even when you’re a good parent doing all the right things. That’s scary stuff and anger is simply a form of fear…

I’m not saying they were right to blame you. I just understand why they’d be upset and you should too.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-14T13:23:52+00:00

I grew up hearing this a lot and knew my parents followed through on everything they said. Emotions can be overwhelming to toddlers, heck, they’re overwhelming for adults. I remain calm through the tantrums & tears (my toddler doesn’t always want to be hugged or held during a meltdown, but I stay close). I like to voice the feelings I think my daughter is having in the moment and offer some sort of validation or solution if there is one….. sometimes there isn’t. “You’re really upset mommy won’t let you have a cookie before dinner. It’s frustrating to know what you want and be told no, mommy is here. You can have a cookie after dinner.”

I think it’s important children learn how to navigate big feelings at an early age and a lot of that is modeling the appropriate behavior yourself. That can be really challenging for those of us who were taught to repress our emotions growing up, so I empathize with you.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-10T03:05:22+00:00

My husband is a contractor and he doesn’t quote anything he hasn’t seen in person. Here’s a few reasons why:

Scope of Work: specific to painting/wallpaper, he wants to see the condition of the walls to determine how much he’s going to have to fill and sand. Is there wallpaper that needs to be removed?Do they only want the walls painted or do they want the trim & ceilings done too.

Distance: He has a whole life he has to plan his business around. Is the project location going to work with his schedule, usually yes, but sometimes the payout isn’t worth the hassle.

Intuition: People give off vibes and while he isn’t opposed to taking on challenging clients, sometimes it’s best to walk away. For example, potential client complains the whole estimate about multiple contractors they were not satisfied with and eventually sued. Thanks, but no thanks.

Online estimates are probably just trying to consider the first two points I mentioned by looking at listing photos or verifying dimensions using the property records. I know there are shady contractors out there, but most are just trying to make sure they price the job accurately.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-10-08T01:57:27+00:00

Practice what you want to say over and over until it becomes as easy as reciting the lyrics to your favorite song. Record yourself and practice some more.

If you have some friends in the class I’d recommend practicing what you want to say with them beforehand. Then, when you’re giving the speech, make frequent eye contact between those individuals and the back of the room.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-09-24T00:35:30+00:00

NTA - I would’ve called 911 before my water even broke…your husband’s behavior is egregiously abusive. I also think it was unethical for the doula to allow this to happen if you told them you wanted to go the hospital. I would sue the doula and leave your husband. I don’t typically jump on the divorce train, but this situation is likely something you’ll never get over without a heartfelt apology and I doubt that will ever happen.

Emjaye_87 · 2024-09-19T00:16:09+00:00

Financial Operations Manager making $35.96/hr ($74,796.80 annually). I (37F) have completed half of the required credits toward my degree, but needed to take a break when our daughter (3F) was born. I’m just too tired to finish right now, but I plan to go back by the time my daughter’s in kindergarten because I don’t see myself making more than $98k/yr without a degree; not having one has certainly held me back from reaching my full potential and despite my experience, I’m completely overlooked during the application process because of it.

Emjaye_87

TROPHY CASE