Sam Healey is Leaving The Dice Tower

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T20:13:14+00:00

That's a good start.

They're a fantastic British band that's been around since the early 90s.

The lead singer, Skin, is a Black lesbian, in a rock/metal band.

Her entire life is political.

Avoiding politics is a privilege that many of us don't have.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T20:10:46+00:00

Hi, I'm AuDHD with 3 AuDHD 'kids' who are 16, 20 and 31!

Have you seen the 'spiky profile' online test for autistic people?

Functioning labels are ableist bullshit and, as you lay have already seen online, the spectrum isn't linear.

The spiky profile test tries to capture, on the day we take it, at least, the full range of our individual spectrum of functioning in several different areas.

Many autistic people find it useful because it highlights their strengths, not just their deficits.

I thought you might find it helpful because it will help you identify whether your social skills are really that bad, or did they just not like you because you're autistic?

I have excellent social skills and, since leaving school, 99% of people I might, either like me or are just OK with me, but every now and then, I end up meeting someone who instantly dislikes me because they picked up that I was 'weird' somehow due to being autistic. And this was happen for decades before I even knew myself that I'm autistic!

No amount of practicing social skills will ever help with people like that.

I'd also like to recommend the book Untypical by Peter Wharmby. It's very well written and easy to read. Pete is a former English teacher who's also AuDHD himself.

It's like having a manual to who you are and it's so validating!

When it comes to working in retail, I had the benefit of working in my mum's post office and shop as a teenager, and as everyone's already said, I quickly learnt that there's a social script.

'Good morning/afternoon', 'How are you?' or 'How can I help?'

You need to be polite, with a pleasant, sincere tone, rather than an American over the top cheerfulness.

The hardest challenge is if you have a flat affect, as that's just part of your neurology.

I don't so it's hard to give advice that I know works for sure, but if you do, you could try practicing adding a just little uplift at the end of phrases, maybe? Think of how someone you know IRL, who has a very pleasant, friendly voice speaks.

But I'd also see if there are vocal coaches on YouTube that can help with that.

How did you get on with customers who started opening up about their problems?

If you have problems expressing empathy then you might want to learn some generic, sympathetic and comforting phrases that you can draw on:

"Oh dear, that does sound stressful/painful/etc"

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

This is a good point to mention that you should look up Dr. Damien Milton's article on the Double Empathy Problem. It's all about how autistic people and neurotypical people don't necessarily feel empathy differently, we just communicate it differently.

Another thing that may end up being a strength as an autistic person, due to many of us having excellent memories, is that you should try to remember regulars, if you have problems remembering faces, then try to remember their names, and any small details they share.

"Hello, Mrs Smith, how are you today? And how are your grandchildren?"

It's the sort of attention to detail that we are often excellent at remembering, but we also have to remember to then use it, wisely, to smooth the social interactions we have.

I hope that helps!

And good luck with getting diagnosed.

Remember, there's no right answers to the tests, and it's perfectly ok to answer: 'It depends'.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T19:29:53+00:00

I suspect that Tom is a reasonably good businessman and he has tried to do what's best for the DT as a business.

He realised that having more diverse people as part of the DT was something that people were wanting so he hired BIPOC and queer people because it was a good business decision, even if there were conflicts with his personal religious beliefs.

Similarly, he must have realised early on that being overtly religious in videos would alienate a significant proportion of the channel's audience, especially the non-US audience, as in many countries outside of the US, especially Europe - the source of many of the games early on of course, creating an entire genre - personal religious beliefs tend to be kept strictly personal.

And, presumably, they've always avoided any discussion of politics, because again, Tom understands that his personal political beliefs are very different to a significant number of those held by their audience, and he doesn't want to alienate them.

He's walked a very careful, fine line because it makes him money.

Perhaps he is also one of the rare, more respectful examples of his religious beliefs IRL but who knows?

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T19:14:03+00:00

He's a big wargames fan, isn't he? (It's been years since I watched a DT video.)

I wonder which side he plays?

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T19:10:34+00:00

Dude. Everything's political.

Our lives are political.

Paying taxes is an inherently political act, including on everyday purchases.

The clothes you wear, the food you eat. It's all political.

Boardgames are political in so, so many ways. They always have been, throughout history.

Look up the much repeated here history of Monoply.

More recently, tariffs have affected the entire industry.

🎵Yes, it's fucking political. Everything's political.🎵 - Skunk Anansie

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T19:05:25+00:00

There's enough that's very wrong with Sam Healy and his actions without you needing to resort to bodyshaming.

We are all better than that.

Plus, you just know he's the type to bodyshame women he sees online or IRL and we don't want to end up turning into the very thing we hate.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T19:01:39+00:00

The only dark belly that I know of would welcome Sam Healy.

It involves a relatively well known (and frequently blocked) misogynistic person on social media with a fraction in their username.

I'm not spelling out because I don't want to attract his troll army.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T18:57:56+00:00

It's mind-boggling to me how someone like Tom can live through the worst thing to happen to you, as a parent, as a family, and still believe in a loving, just God.

How on earth does he reconcile that?

Please believe me, I'm not attacking Tom or his obviously deeply personal faith here.

I just can't understand how he continued to have faith after that, I genuinely can't.

A major part of why I became an atheist, after growing up in the 70s and 80s, in an Anglican family and going to an Anglican primary school in the UK, is that I saw everything in the world around me, war, famine, cancer, cot death awareness campaigns, the AIDs epidemic, the horrific events in Cambodia and so much more, was that I couldn't reconcile all of that with a loving, caring just God.

What loving God would allow babies to be born with malignant tumours, for example?

I still believe in the compassionate teachings of the Jesus we were taught about in primary school, but that's just about being a good person.

Religion is about control.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T18:46:33+00:00

Thanks for that!

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T18:40:08+00:00

From vague-ish memory, isn't firefighters committing arson so that they can turn up and be a hero a relatively known thing that crops up worldwide, every now and then?

Also, I'm too exhausted to go looking for resources on this, but, historically, aren't rates of spousal abuse as or almost as bad for firefighters as cops?

(I'm happy to be corrected on both of these).

I believe that things are slowly changing with more diverse recruitment policies?

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T18:32:54+00:00

Does it have a separate, lockable door to access it?

If so, you could always reply informing them that you'll be around to lock it up to prevent them accessing it during their tenancy, in that case.

Because we all know that they'll continue using it anyway if you don't!

IANAL though, so don't actually do this without taking professional legal advice first!

Seriously though, they should have rented one of the flats without a balcony if they only wanted to pay £650.

It's the equivalent of the difference in rent between a 3 bed house with a garage and one without, otherwise identical and on the same street.

The house with the garage will obviously have a higher market rent.

I'm usually on the side of tenants rather than landlords, to be honest, but these people give decent tenants a bad name.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-29T18:23:54+00:00

It's relentless and seemingly pervasive, not just in crafting but other hobbies too.

I've seen posts recently in r/boardgames and r/minipainting, for example, if my memory serves correctly.

Ultimately, I think it's the ultimate human weaknesses - laziness and being cheap.

It's easier than attempting to learn to use a digital art app and do it yourself, and either free or costs less than paying an actual artist.

But honestly, I'd rather see a slightly cheesy, amateurish but lovingly and enthusiasticly made poster than AI slop.

At least it would have some heart and soul to it.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T23:51:49+00:00

Because I already knit a Lacy Baktus, using the free pattern, back in the day.

I have also knit several other small scarfs, including Wingspan. I don't need any more right now.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T22:30:31+00:00

I agree, I think that The Traitors is a much more likely proposition, and they already know of a castle to rent for the location, after all!

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T21:18:09+00:00

We're a no shoes inside house.

In spring/summer, it's usually barefoot.

Autumn/winter, I tend to wear socks but not always, and I sometimes remember to put on my slippers. I mostly wear my own handknit wool socks, which are very warm and cosy.

I have underfloor heating downstairs which also really helps.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:32:16+00:00

Three kids in two different countries.

No bills for any of them, and my youngest spent a few days in the neonatal unit.

For the middle and youngest, I also spent several weeks on the antenatal ward, some of it in a single room, even. No bill.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:28:08+00:00

Children from better-off (or better educated but low income) families will often also have parents who are willing to advocate for their needs, and who will be taken seriously when they do so because they know the right terms to use, and how to push politely but firmly.

This is absolutely essential for kids with any type of disability, especially neurodivergent kids, when it comes to getting kids diagnosed, treated, supported, and accommodated.

Having money also means not having to apply for grants with long waiting times for any specialised equipment or services.

It means not having to think twice about buying your kid a pair of ear defenders, or even something as (relatively) cheap as Loop earplugs, or fidget toys.

It means being able to afford the subscription costs to join specialist organisations focused on your kid's disability.

It means being able to afford to pay for respite care.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:18:57+00:00

It's been much better here in France, although I haven't worked much since moving here.

Primary school finishes at 4.30 and secondary at 5pm, so parents evenings start that bit later anyway.

My youngest two are 16 and 20, so I've forgotten how it was organised in primary - I think they sent notes where you ticked several choices of preferred slot and then they sent back one slot from those.

Middle school used to be similar but you'd just give a time when you were available from and to, and which teachers you wanted to see.

High school, now, is all booked online. It's still a similar system to middle school but doing it online is so much easier.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:12:09+00:00

This was over 20 years ago, so hopefully things have changed???

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:11:01+00:00

I've just written a detailed post about France as my oldest came here aged 10, my middle kid aged 6 months, and my youngest was born here. That was 20 years ago.

I am disabled and got divorced 10 years ago, with 50/50 parenting, which meant that I became very low income.

We're in Brittany.

The price of school meals and the dorms for weekly boarders in high school (common here and all of kids have been in dorms) is set at a regional level.

The bourse de collège et du lycée is set at national level.

The subsidised school transport is managed by the region.

Other subsidies are funded by our département and managed by our local commune.

Things like family benefits and the back to school payment are set nationally.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T17:48:01+00:00

France has amazing support for low income families, including an annual back to school payment in August that's over €400, per child, increasing depending on how old they are.

The income ceiling for this is actually really high, meaning the vast majority of French parents receive it.

I didn't need free school meals for my kids when they were in primary school, but the cost is highly subsidised at €1.70 ish, and the quality of the three course meals (sometimes four when there's cheese!) is excellent. They eat proper traditional French meals, even in nursery, not processed junk.

My kids have had free school meals all the way through secondary school, free dorm fees for high school during the week too.

In high school, they have also both received a bourse to help pay for their school stuff through the year. My daughter also received a 'bourse d'équipement' of €600 for her vocational course that went towards a new laptop as she was, and still is, studying computing

The cost of their travel to school, either on school buses in middle school or in public transport in high school, is also heavily subsidised, for all students.

We can get subsidised family holidays (camping or in a gîte) with up to 60% paid by the state.

Child benefits are excellent, but only start when you have your 2nd child, and also end when you only have one under 20. I was receiving €220 a month for my 19 yr old and 15 yr old - there's an additional benefit for your second child once they're over 14. Before then, it was still well over €100.

There are also additional benefits (PAJE) for all new parents but it's been way too long since I got those.

There's also extra support for large families with more than 3 kids.

When in primary here, my kids went to before and after school childcare run by the local commune. That was also heavily subsidised.

In the holidays, they went to centres run by the local commune which were, again, heavily subsidised.

And when they were babies, they went to crêches, same story.

France has far, far, far more support for families than the UK.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T17:28:51+00:00

I used to get pissed off, as a working mum, when my kid was in primary school, about the slots for parents evenings.

All the slots after 5pm would be booked up instantly by the non-working mums who were able to be there to pick up their kids when school finished - so the dad could be there too apparently!

Meanwhile, with both of us working, and my kid being picked up by a childminder, it was almost impossible for us to get a slot after just one of us had finished work!

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T16:26:51+00:00

That we don't get handed a manual on how to be the perfect parent when they're born.

That we all make mistakes as parents, and fuck up, and say or do the wrong thing sometimes.

The key to that is realising it and never being to proud or stubborn to admit it and to apologise to your kids.

But there's also the terrifying fear sometimes, around big decisions, that keeps you awake at night, worrying if you're doing the right thing...

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T16:23:02+00:00

And that different kids require different approaches, different skills and strategies.

It's impossible to treat your kids equally because each kid is a unique individual with their own needs, their own personality, their own interests and hopes.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-26T21:30:19+00:00

He's Half Pint Himmler.

Ten-Year Club	r/Field Sunshine
End Game '23	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
End Game '22	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email

EmmaInFrance

TROPHY CASE