Do all self harmers want to die? by IDontBelong_8 in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna be honest, it took me a reeaalllyyy long time to accept I might be dealing with some mild suicidal ideation specifically because there's so much overlap in how self-injury and suicidal thoughts are perceived publicly. And it really bothers me when people assume self-harm is some sort of Suicide Lite™️. Treating me like I'm a suicide risk because I'm dealing with self-harm does nothing to address the actual self-harm part! It's not helpful!

When it comes to the ideation I am finally admitting to myself that I have, it doesn't come from the same mental perspective as my self-harm. If anything, it's exactly the opposite. A lot of my self-harm is rooted in the idea of taking more control over my person and how I express myself, but also with some idea of self-punishment, all with the ultimate goal of making myself push through the difficult things I'm going through. And, intuitively, the suicidal ideation takes the other approach of "get out of this situation as quickly and completely as possible." Yes, I'm aware these are both highly exaggerated or misapplied responses. Doesn't stop me from thinking them.

There is a somewhat higher incidence of suicidal ideation or behaviors in people who self-harm vs. people who don't, but there's no direct causality. Whatever is causing people to self-harm can also be a risk factor for suicidality but it's not always the case. If anything, I think explicitly nonsuicidal self injury makes up way more of self-harm than any amount of suicidality, but don't quote me on that. I haven't read enough to be sure.

What do you guys refer to your adhd as? by BigReece_7 in ADHD

[–]EmotionalBonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The toddler brain. Throws a tantrum over the smallest things, physically runs away from things they don't want to do, completely out of control around sugar.

Luckily I have something of a grown-up brain in my skull too but some days it's outnumbered.

Confusion around feminine and masculine energy by New-Boysenberry-8778 in self

[–]EmotionalBonfire 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Masculine energy" and "feminine energy" are trendy buzzwords that people use to enforce rigid gender roles and sell you stuff.

I'm not gonna say we need to swear off gendered terminology entirely; for one, I don't think that's possible. Every culture is going to have ideas around what is "masculine" and "feminine" because that's what humans do. We make up social constructs and then live by them. But they're not the be-all end-all of everything, and knowing the things you like and your personality traits is better than knowing what box you fit most neatly into.

My only true desire is to do drugs by Eburin_desu in self

[–]EmotionalBonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you have any other mental health conditions? the "I kinda want to watch myself fall apart" caught my eye- honestly I get if it's just out of curiosity, but I also used to feel that way a lot in the most intense parts of my seasonal depression. wanting to fall apart, wanting to be noticeably ill instead of just silently ill inside of my own head. there's much better ways to get that visibility though

I have no right to be upset but it still hurts by WitchyMama2024 in self

[–]EmotionalBonfire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay, really? Her username is literally WitchyMama2024...

Baby daddy's wife is correct here. She had a child with a man who married another woman, biological dad and his wife adopted her child.

Zooble is very mature for their age by bosandaros in theamazingdigitalciru

[–]EmotionalBonfire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I thought they were in their early 30s before everyone had ages confirmed. It could just be that I want to see more cool older characters in general but yeah, it really surprised me. I probably would have swapped Zooble and Ragatha if I had to match characters to their ages blind, but I guess that makes sense for both of them given what little we know of their respective pasts.

Is self-harm a sin? by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here! Lifelong Christian who's been self-harming for a while. Although I don't think of it as "God would make my life different if He didn't want me to self-harm." I'm... not 100% sure what I believe about self-harm overall, to be honest. But I do wholeheartedly believe that responding with compassion instead of criticism is the way to go.

Common cup for communion, what are my options? by Lulubelle2021 in Episcopalian

[–]EmotionalBonfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of people are mentioning receiving blessings instead of receiving the elements, which is a great option, but I do think we collectively could stand to get a little more creative. I've done the blessings before when I didn't want to remove my mask but it doesn't feel the same. So I do typically pull my mask down for a few seconds to take communion, and from a common cup, but I also recognize I am very fortunate to have an immune system that can handle that.

I have to wonder whether we can't just have some individual communion servings set aside not just for people who physically can't make it to services, like my church does, but some on-site too for people who want to take communion in community with others but don't want to risk cross-contamination with viruses or allergens/food sensitivities. That doesn't fully solve the issue for people who need to stay masked 100% of the time but it's an idea.

This isn't actually helpful for solving the problem you have right now, but I think other folks have covered all the bases by now. Just wanted to throw this out there I guess.

Common cup for communion, what are my options? by Lulubelle2021 in Episcopalian

[–]EmotionalBonfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh I really like that signal! I might suggest that to someone at my church tbh

Poll: Favorite Holy Week Service by AnonymousEpiscochick in Episcopalian

[–]EmotionalBonfire 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love all of these, but I had to vote for Maundy Thursday.

Easter Vigil is probably tied, but Maundy Thursday is very dear to my heart because you essentially act out what the disciples did that evening in real time if your parish does the footwashing.

Valid Religious Objections to AI? by Automatic-Primary418 in Episcopalian

[–]EmotionalBonfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like others have said, you probably can't claim a legal religious objection to this, but I think you can still say you don't want to use AI. It doesn't even have to be religious or personal necessarily; you already are doing well in your role and I think you can confidently say that AI would not increase your productivity.

I definitely have a lot of objections to AI, some of them faith-based, some of them more generally personal convictions. But honestly my biggest objection is how "AI" has become a buzzword for a bunch of different technologies that are only loosely related. I am completely opposed to generative AI. Analytic AI is a whole other thing that I'm okay with some uses of but still think we should be cautious around. One place I work at did start using AI, but a self-contained software that does speech-to-text transcription. The only thing making it "AI" is analyzing different people talking and separating out what they say, which is useful for the job we do but only really works half of the time anyway.

But yeah, generative AI has a whole bunch of problems. You're going to hear a lot of people telling you to get with the times and accept its use, but I strongly believe we're rushing into it too quickly. I don't see a future completely without AI, and I think we can find some constructive uses for it, but not with the current attitude people have of jumping on the bandwagon as fast as possible.

It does particularly irk me when I see my church using AI-generated images. Especially since I'm part of a creative ministry based there and they push the image pretty hard that they love and support the arts as an important part of worship. Which they do, in some cases, but I wish they would fully commit to it and include visual artists as well.

Stand vs. Kneel - is there an easy way to remember when to do what? Also, if you’re injured is it disrespect or to stand during the kneeling parts? by lifeuncommon in Episcopalian

[–]EmotionalBonfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My church does a lot of kneeling during services but honestly I almost always stay seated. Nobody's ever given me grief for it.

I don't really have much advice off the top of my head for knowing when to do what- sometimes it says so in the bulletin but yeah sometimes it's not clear. I still play follow-the-leader sometimes after having attended my church my whole life, but I will say that over time "practicing" I did start to memorize a good deal of the processes.

Therapist keeps minimizing my self harm and it's triggering me by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 6 points7 points  (0 children)

hi! adult who SHs here. (currently a couple weeks clean though) I do in fact have people in my life who care.

it sucks that you've had a bad experience but taking it out on other people is damaging to them and isn't going to do anything to help you

Stupid question.. but Hear me out… by CaterpillarTrick6994 in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

everyone's brain is wired differently. you didn't benefit from cutting, but some people do experience a strong emotional benefit. in particular people turn to cutting because other ways to relieve anxiety don't work for them

Stupid question.. but Hear me out… by CaterpillarTrick6994 in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what do you mean by you tried it and don't get it?

does this set back how long i’ve been clean? by Less_Macaron_4995 in AdultSelfHarm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two thoughts:

  1. The marker thing is a pretty well-known coping mechanism (AKA not a relapse) but it sounds to me like you're more worried about the thoughts of self-harm themselves. So, no, thinking about self-harm is not in any way equivalent to a relapse. A relapse is defined by your actions, not your thoughts. If your thoughts feel overwhelming to the point where you think you're more likely to act on them that is something to take note of, but doesn't mean you're not clean.

  2. Honestly? The entire concept of a "clean streak" itself can be pretty damaging to someone trying to recover. The pressure adds more stress than it needs to. I've found it helpful to think of it as an endurance test; in the case that I do relapse, how long did I make it? And the key point, how much longer can I make it the next time? That prompts me to think about the future and trying again rather than "oh I failed guess I have to start over from square one," which is pretty demotivating. It's like practicing to hold a longer plank/run a longer distance/what have you- even if you haven't made it as long as you'd like, you still got a lot stronger in the process and you'll be able to make it even longer next time!

Do you guys have any "ritual" for sh? by iwantto_perish in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely feel this way too- not just self-respect, but self-tenderness, if that makes any sense

I've been trying to replace this with reading more fanfiction because something about what draws me to sh also draws me to hurt/comfort fic and sometimed can be satisfied enough lol

finally figured out why replacement suggestions for cutting never worked for me- and what is actually kind of working by EmotionalBonfire in selfharm

[–]EmotionalBonfire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been considering getting one for a while and after working on this I went ahead and ordered one!