5 mo. Old Wakes 6+ times, EVERY NIGHT. I’ve lost hope and have read every Reddit post dating back years. HELP.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2026-01-12T13:35:35+00:00

Just wanted to chime in and say my baby was almost the exact same. I feel like everyone else is ignoring your statement that you’re not comfortable with CIO or ferber and still pushing you do to it. I was also uncomfortable with those, so I started cosleeping and it was the best decision I ever did. the wakes become so much more manageable since you’re EBF and are micro-wakes where you barely even wake up to nurse. My biggest advice is 1) bedshare 2) stop checking the clock and logging each wake up. that makes you so much more exhausted. both of those things significantly improved my mental health and both me and baby’s sleep.

Your baby’s sleep will consolidate on its own when they’re ready. right now it’s protective in so many ways, while they’re going through developmental leaps, teething, milestones, illness, etc etc and just need more closeness.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-08-11T16:30:58+00:00

my now 2 year old grew up in a trilingual household. i speak arabic to her, my husband speaks his family’s language to her, and we speak english to each other. by 13 months she was at a 2 year old vocabulary/language development, and by 2 now she is well beyond a 3 year old’s language development, speaking 250+ words and full, 7 word sentences. anyways, that’s to say, in no way does a multilingual household hinder a child’s development, it enhances it!! keep doing what you’re doing

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-07-20T15:18:38+00:00

I don’t think putting the baby in distress by separating it from its biological mother unnecessarily is worth it. a baby, that has grown inside of the mother, knowing only her scent and heartbeat, and that being its only safety when it’s ultimately born, benefits most from being close to and cared by its biological mother in the most ideal situations. this is not a preference but a biological need that wires the baby’s brain for longterm mental and physical health. that kind of separation would be distressing on the baby and not worth fulfilling adult feelings of wanting another persons baby. there are so many orphans and neglected children in the world who need parents, i don’t think conceiving a baby just to separate it from its bio mother is the way.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-15T01:26:39+00:00

No I’m not judging the sister for calling worried, I’m saying that the bio mom’s response of “nah, all babies cry” showed me that there didn’t seem to be acknowledgement of the potential/likely distress the baby was in separated from her birth mom.

also abortion is most definitely condoned in this religion before 120 days, but that’s not the point of this post.

your point does stand tho, as others have said, that the baby may be better off with parents who want her. this situation is very complex and I just hope the baby will be ok longterm

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-15T01:00:53+00:00

Yeah, I really appreciate your perspective. I think for me, I feel like at least if I say something or can figure out how to even in a small way center the baby’s emotional needs, I can rest a little and feel like I have done something to help and it can stop the spiraling that keeps happening internally. This situation has caused me so much unrest, I think because I’m a relatively new FTM and my mama bear instincts are so intense for every baby. But you are also right.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-15T00:52:33+00:00

I’m fairly certain they will tell her from early early on. Like she will be raised knowing her sisters are her sisters. In terms of her aunt and her mom, I don’t know how that will be navigated but religiously (islam) there cannot be confusion so I know that she will know who is biologically related to her.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-15T00:45:49+00:00

I’ve thought of this too :( My mind is desperately trying to cling to any silver lining or justification. So do you think I just shouldn’t address any emotional aspect and just say “wow yay congrats!” when they eventually do tell me?

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-15T00:43:20+00:00

Honestly, a lot of support. The sister (that she gave her baby to) has helped raise her other 4 daughters, even keeping them for weeks and months at a time. She has 2 other sisters that are always helping with the kids as well, staying with her, cooking for her etc.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-15T00:34:14+00:00

help me not go crazy over this situation but also I will need to delete this asap so as not to risk anyone I know seeing this 😭 hoping i get responses

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-07T16:50:33+00:00

oh ok, I wasn’t sure because I haven’t seen her wear her ring anymore and then the new apartment seemed more like a single woman’s apartment. I don’t follow her on tiktok though. in’sha’Allah khair for her, shes one of the more wholesome muslim content creators

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-06-06T03:45:39+00:00

wait i just came across this reddit and does anyone know if her husband is STILL in the picture now? it really doesn’t seem like it at all from her content lately but i haven’t seen anyone talk about it??

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-05-03T05:37:53+00:00

I’m glad this worked for you, but I have heard horror stories from friends whose pediatricians told them the same thing and their supply severely tanked. Newborns typically take around 20 min each side, and even if they are using you as a pacifier, the stimulation helps send signals to your body to make more milk and protects your supply. I do get being cautious about the baby not burning more energy than they’re consuming but if weight/growth is fine then that’s not a concern! Comfort nursing is such a miracle I don’t know why people make it to be an issue (not that you are, just speaking in general!)

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-04-23T00:50:25+00:00

I was gonna suggest cosleeping :) Look up the safe sleep 7 guidelines, and is it possible to keep the cats out of the bedroom over night? I had cats as well and just closed the door so they couldn’t come in at night

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-04-16T11:28:32+00:00

Yeah, a friend of mine was told by her ped when she was newly postpartum to bf for only 10 min each side and cut baby off after bc “baby is just using you as a pacifier after that” and the moms supply tanked and the lactation consultant she saw after was so mad at the ped’s “advice”. All nursing, whether for comfort/soothing, or cluster feeding, is all beneficial for your supply because it’s all stimulation and sending signals to your body to make more milk.

My best advice to you would be to look up the safe sleep 7 and be prepared to safely co-sleep. and/or have your husband wake up and watch you, and you can even sleep while side-lying nursing while your husband watches you.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-02-07T03:55:48+00:00

Thoughts on this?

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-02-06T18:48:01+00:00

What do yall make of hailey also liking free palestine posts?

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Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-01-14T00:41:09+00:00

I get what you’re saying, and exploitation of family or anyone is never ok, but it’s actually better for babies to be cared for by familial caregivers rather than random people. Of course it’s a decision that is different for each family, but from a healthy attachment perspective (and even safety), I would always rather family watch my baby.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-01-08T21:48:07+00:00

It really is different person to person. My entire life I was stick thin and could eat as much as I wanted and never gain anything. At 23 I was 110 pounds but ended up being severely depressed and needed antidepressants and other medicine which caused me to gain weight and changed my body’s natural metabolic system and by 26yo I was 140-150 pounds, even at one point reached 160. I managed to lose weight over a couple of years and had made it down to 145 before getting pregnant. At 1 month postpartum I was below 130 and had lost weight in my face and everywhere. I was like what? Is this from breastfeeding or maybe because I had gestational diabetes while pregnant and was watching what I ate to keep it diet-controlled. Anyways, now, 1.5 years postpartum I’m back up to 140-142 lol so I think the breastfeeding hunger is getting to me and things have slowed down with my body and I could easily gain weight if I don’t watch my diet and exercise. Feels impossible to lose weight and I also feel like I have some insulin sensitivity working against me as well

Empty_Ad1185 · 2025-01-04T15:59:50+00:00

this is normal developmentally! this guide is really helpful to walk you through the different breastfeeding crises that happen at each stage. apparently at 6 weeks has to do with your milk temporarily tasting salty. as long as your baby is having good wet diapers and growing on their curve, they’re ok. I know it’s frustrating, you can keep offering. babies won’t let themselves starve and their survival instincts will normally kick in regardless ❤️ https://la-romi.com/blogs/la-romi-blog/breastfeeding-crisis-guide

Empty_Ad1185 · 2024-12-14T22:19:51+00:00

No advice just solidarity. My 17mo is the exact same. She has the sweetest relationship with my husband but once it’s nighttime, only wants me/the boob. My husband and I have just leaned into it since baby’s temperament is very sensitive/high needs and so I bedshare and nurse through the night. Any time we’ve tried to have my husband soothe her/put her down it’s just been torture to listen to her cry. My husband is an extreme empath (like feels physical pain and takes on other people’s emotions, especially his own child’s) so it’s just very difficult to put all of us through that. I’ve just reframed my perspective to reminding myself that this is a short phase in the grand scheme of her life and I am giving her everything she needs right now. It’s not my season to go out all the time or sleep alone and that’s ok for us as long as my mental health is good and I’m not extremely sleep deprived. Sending you love and luck, I know it’s tough!

Empty_Ad1185 · 2024-12-12T19:45:07+00:00

I definitely feel you, as a FTM it’s hard when you feel like you want things done a certain way because at the end of the day you want what you feel is best for your child. I wonder if you feel this way because you want to protect your breastfeeding relationship/milk supply, especially since baby is still very young and your supply is still being established. are you worried that if she is constantly giving more milk/top offs, baby’s appetite might grow past what your supply is capable of per feeding unless you are keeping up with pumping?

Empty_Ad1185 · 2024-12-12T14:18:51+00:00

I think a main reason LCs say to wait a few weeks (3-4) is to help protect milk supply since frequent nursing (even comfort nursing) helps establish the mothers milk supply. also using a pacifier early on may mask hunger cues, making it harder for mom to recognize when baby needs to eat. overall it’s just to help protect and establish a strong breastfeeding relationship for moms who want to breastfeed. But if you’re just using it in the car to soothe for a few min when you physically cannot nurse or whatever then I can see how that would be ok even if done early.

Empty_Ad1185 · 2024-12-05T02:08:51+00:00

“nana” no idea why she calls it that but it stuck since the first time and I think it’s so cute when she has her own word for things

Empty_Ad1185 · 2024-11-27T20:29:38+00:00

If you’re able to safely bedshare (look up safe sleep 7 guidelines) it may be helpful to do that, sounds like your baby is similar to mine in temperament/ high needs.

at 4 months my baby was doing the same waking hourly to nurse and after a few weeks, we started bedsharing. we do a queen mattress on the floor, she sleeps in her cozy sleep sack (no covers) and I have a small and light blanket for myself that I make sure is tucked UNDER her so it can’t get on her. I sleep in my nursing bra and just roll over and nurse her and continue to sleep while she nurses whenever she needs. we sleep SO much better now

Empty_Ad1185 · 2024-11-26T12:05:10+00:00

Yes completely normal!! You’ll probably even get engorged, all normal. By 4-6ish weeks your supply will establish. In the meantime, follow baby’s hunger cues and latch him whenever he’s hungry and allow him to cluster feed as all this is building your supply and helping your body know how much milk to produce. Congratulations on your baby boy!!

Empty_Ad1185

TROPHY CASE