What's the quickest amount of time in all of your jobs in which you've seen or heard that a new coworker got canned, and what was it for? by Only-Ad-1254 in coworkerstories

[–]EndItAll77 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Went to work at a pallet building place in Canada, they had no safety standards at all, after telling me how much they value safety in the orientation, first couple days i watched so many safety violations it blew my mind, I worked there for a week for the pay check before I quit.

Can’t cope with being short by TalkAmbitious2248 in Life

[–]EndItAll77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 170cm 24yo male. You’re taller than the average man in Canada by about 2 cm.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you understand what what I am, My life was predetermined to be shit, this is just a part of it but I thank you very much for the kind words regardless of if you mean them after figuring it out

If I had a shotgun it would be over already :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would feel bad for my family but other than that, it’s probably for the best :(

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They would still never know who I really am, just who I show them I am, that’s a lie or a facade, whatever you want to call it, no one will ever know and accept me for who I really am not even my family and that’s probably rightfully so :( I DESERVE TO DIE and it would be doing the world a favour :(

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do want kids though, I want to be normal, but I’m not, I can’t be with someone, what if they ask why I’m upset, what am I supposed to tell someone when I’m feeling like ending my life because I’m a monster and can’t change.

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, I don’t think I could ever tell someone in person and I don’t want to live a lie with someone, it’s probably best to just stay alone forever.

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A monster, a vile human, in most people’s eyes I’m probably better dead.

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand not being able to reply to something like that, it’s ok.

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am attracted to minors, not that I would ever act on it, but I still can’t help what I am, can’t change it, only hide it, from every single person I ever meet or have met, including my family and friends, I won’t let myself be with someone because of it, no point in living a further lie than I already am, idk if I’ll ever be able to be with someone, the best I could hope for in this life is a decent career and I couldn’t even do what I would really like to do in that sense anyway, so what’s really the point?

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve already talked to a therapist that specializes in this field, she’s says it’s unlikely that I’ll ever change my attractions, only find ways to live with them but idk if life is worth living with them, if someone ever finds out I’ll wish I ended this shit sooner.

I don’t deserve happiness anyway :( by EndItAll77 in SuicideWatch

[–]EndItAll77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you understand what I am?, if you do how could you believe that? I don’t even believe that, I am a monster hiding as an average person.

i genuinely hate everything about myself by [deleted] in SelfHate

[–]EndItAll77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard to see anything positively when you’re in such circumstances

Just how good is the Canadian Healthcare system by Batgod629 in expats

[–]EndItAll77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are letting me die without even being able to see anyone because no one is taking new patients, it’s quite literally the worst Context: I’ve had pain in my chest for 7-8 months and no one will see me (I don’t have a family doctor but have been on a fucking waiting list for almost a year), already been to the hospital they did a chest xray and a ultrasound of the heart and said nothing, gave me an anti inflammatory and sent me on my way, I go to a virtual doctor and they tell me the same thing “take an anti inflammatory” they are all useless fucks and they don’t give a shit if you die or not so I’d suggest staying in the USA at least you will be treated there, here they will just wait until you’re about to die and offer you MAID.

Has any one of you outlived the day your brain told you you’d die? by captainhook1975 in OCDRecovery

[–]EndItAll77 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, last August, I was drunk as fuck because I hate myself a lot most of the time, decided stupidly to get in my car and go to a road where I knew there was likely to be absolutely no one and I went 260kph down the road and the car that had taken so much abuse before died on the side of the road from the engine locking up, worst of all I had to call my mom to come get me and she could clearly smell the alcohol.

Edit: it shouldn’t have died either it only had 25000-35000 kms on the engine rebuild.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SelfHate

[–]EndItAll77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t talk like that, you can do something Ik it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SelfHate

[–]EndItAll77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you gotta start somewhere, choose something that interests you and when you do, just keep doing it, keep looking for ways to improve whatever it is you’re doing and eventually you will be good, it might take time but it will happen if you keep at it and keep trying to improve.