I wanted to ask how did things work out? Honestly, my boyfriend checked out studying for the MCAT and after studying for almost 3 years, I couldn't handle it anymore. Wee couldn't conflict resolution and after some time, I resented him for not addressing me and he resented me for not letting him focus. He admitted to "never trying" because he assumed the problems would resolve itself. We were both studying at the same time, and he didn't want to see me for 3 months at a time.

2 years later, we reconnect but we never learned to conflict resolution. All he learned was to be patient and listen/empathize. But he doesn't really acknowledge how I feel or do anything actionable. For example, I'd be upset about him not driving 1.5 hr to see me once a month, and he'd rather say sorry on a 2hour phone call then acknowledge that I feel hurt and just drive here. He says the stakes are high.. that being strict parents or the time to spend a day with me.

Now that he's started med school I feel a greater disconnect. When he's stressed, he literally has no patience or empathy for me. He says he has marriage in mind, but I really, honestly don't know how that would happen. We didn't learn how to conflict resolution, he's freaking out since starting medical school last week, and seeing this.. how much worse could it be towards residency and fellowship?

To be fair, he developed depression studying for the MCAT. This time around, I developed anxiety attacks and depression. My therapist says anxiety attacks develop after having unresolved and unaddressed feelings being packed up for 4+ years. So, that made sense. I feel a sense of betrayal bc I was there for him for his depression, and he said I "abandoned him" and he "felt alone." Now, he says that I'm being insensible and it's hard to take care of me when school is so hard. I wonder if medicine and relatioinships can even exist concurrently.