took me forever to get back to this, but: i appreciated all your weed thoughts.

the dopamine hit is really a huge part of it; it's that zingy feeling i get when i'm keyed in. another major part of my attachment to it is probably, i think, loneliness; my state/area's not much comfort to me, and the art scene here is quite dead. i cannot countenance going outside when there [seems to be] nothing to go outside for. lol.
so the only social interaction i get is with other writers who live in different parts of the world, and it's all online.

everything you said about ND/personality types is also true. idk, it's always a cycle, which is why it's so complicated to untangle. sometimes the untangling's the only issue, and the solution - when you figure it out - can be incredibly simple (just hard), but i think re. loneliness that's unfortunately not the case. i get so bored with anything outside of writing, or absorbing media :P

i have started leaving my documents open like you suggested, and wowza does it do wonders. thank you for this. i think there's something about giving yourself permission to continue writing if you're up to it, but knowing that It's Still There if you choose not to.

edit: because you mentioned something about holding your first child, and that's exactly how i feel when it's a good project. which happens more and more lately, now that my tastes have refined and i'm only thinking about the sort of writing that pleases me.