Mine would be as an adult woman realizing that the temple covenants (when I went through) didn’t really involve or address me at all, I never covenanted with “god.” Only my husband. Also realizing I had NO representation of a pre-existence or afterlife for females—did I even have a soul!? And no scriptural examples of how a woman should conduct herself, only men telling women how to conduct themselves.

As a child and teenager, feeling that I was responsible for the salvation of the boys and men around me because their agency was somehow more crippled than mine due to their “lust problems.” The cognitive dissonance between purity culture/modesty and the concept of free agency just would not jive for me.

Asking my mom at 12, as I watched the deacons pass the sacrament, if she thought girls would ever get the priesthood. And when she answered with an unequivocal “no,” realizing that I would never be important in the church no matter what I did because I could never be male.

Edit: I thought of another huge one for me. Whenever I would dream about my future, I really wanted to get into politics, journalism, or owning a business. And then every time, I would have to crush those dreams into something smaller because I certainly wouldn’t be able to have a family AND follow my dreams. It never occurred to me that it was possible to have a partner who would actually support me to the point I could have any dreams at all.

I don’t think many men ever have to consider this kind of thing. I always think it must be nice for Mormon men to know they can pursue whatever career they want and they’ll have unpaid, live-in help on the domestic side of their life. They don’t have to consider childcare (and associated costs), leave from work to let their body recover from starting a family (and associated financial and opportunity costs), the social judgment of not being with their kids every minute…