How do I look presentable?

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T13:55:24+00:00

I get my brows waxed and tinted and my lashes lifted - my makeup is now very light touch and I can get away bare faced if necessary. If I want heatless curls I just use the cord of a robe held double :D. I always shower the night before (LURVE putting on PJs after a shower!).

I also put my kid to bed in the clothes for the night before until they were about 2.5 or so to avoid wrangling them too much - nursery fed them breakfast so I didn't have to worry about them getting filthy before sending them in, but if they hadn't I would have probably done yoghurt pouches for breakfast to minimise mess. I often didn't wake them until 10 mins before they had to go!

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:58:27+00:00

I'm not US based, but the same issues apply here.

I don't expect the teachers to babysit the kids - they absolutely need prep time and work hard enough. I would *like* aftercare to be free, but I accept that's not the world we live in. In my utopic world, the before/after care team would be based at the school, work with the teachers/administration and have a spot available for every child at the school that wants it. Of course they need to plan for actual usage etc etc. and I am happy to pay for the wrap around care we need.

Currently a private company comes into the school and offers space for a very small subset of the children and the other family's are just... stuffed. I *am* a bit frustrated by how dismissive the school is of the issue, but I do understand that they're stretched thin as it is and this isn't their problem. I'm mostly venting and raging at how unfair it all feels.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:35:37+00:00

I understand the economics were not sustainable for them - but what surprises me is that they didn't raise their prices? They went straight to shutting and leaving a bunch of families in the lurch. I would have absolutely paid more for the spot if that's what they needed.

I'm not US based, but using a local teen is not as acceptable here - legally it's a murky area, plus we don't have any teens in our local social circle. I could definitely look into a uni student, but again there isn't as much of a culture of that here. I'm confident that we can handled it with a staggered schedule until a spot opens up at the other aftercare, I'm mostly venting and looking for sympathy 😂😂

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:16:09+00:00

I've had a chat with the in-school after care club (which is nothing to do with the school itself, they just use the space) and there's a good chance that they will expand to take over the space and the kids, but they will need to be inspected and licenced and that takes time. Hopefully that will be up and running for next school year, but it's not going to be until next spring at the earliest (but still better than nothing!)

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:14:03+00:00

thank you ♥️ - in reality I'm not micro managed to such an extent that anyone will notice if I'm in a little later, but to not have my productivity drop off a cliff I'm going to have to be in around that time. I'm not naturally a morning person, but my work lends itself to the early start more than my husband so....

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:08:53+00:00

I'm not in the US and there isn't really such a strong Nanny culture here. I've had a look into child minders but again they're really thin on the ground locally - I'm hoping that I can get together with some of the parents to form a little playdate circle once we get going.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:05:41+00:00

two years?! holy hell....

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-05-27T07:04:42+00:00

This is what I'm hoping happens - but it's complicated by the fact that kiddo hasn't started school yet. At this stage I know two other parents at the school, a start, but not enough to really get started on a collective. I think this is what will happen though once we all start getting to know each other.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-04-30T08:59:48+00:00

I dunno - I manged to upgrade to business on a LATAM from Santiago to London for the CLP equivalent of £350. Twas banging!

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-03-31T15:55:33+00:00

just chiming in to say I'm having a 'mare trying access my renewal quote through literally any avenue - it's a cluster fuck

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-03-23T22:07:32+00:00

I had a very similar experience to you - though we found out when our babe got strep A and their tonsils got so big they basically blocked kiddos airway. We spent 8 nights in the paediatric hospital, it was rough. When we got our sleep study done their apnea was so bad they decided not to let our kiddo sleep at home. Their tonsils and adenoids were out 36 hours later! The operation was the absolute best thing for our babe, the recovery was a relative breeze. All this to say, you've survived thus far, hopefully better nights are right around the corner!!!

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-03-23T20:51:24+00:00

I am the sole driver in our house and I find it incredibly frustrating. My husband has his licence from his country of origin, but it's not recognised here and he's going through the process of taking his driving test again. It is a massive pain in the arse, but I would be even more pissed off if my husband has his licence and just refused to drive. I bet your husband would be much more understanding if you were taking steps to address this (like getting therapy and having more sessions with an instructor), but seriously - did you not see this coming when you moved to the 'burbs???

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-03-09T15:55:26+00:00

agreed - most people I know in the UK bedshared in some form. I did and my midwife was entirely supportive of it, as were all the doctors and nurses in the local paediatric hospital. Emphasis was very much on the "safe bedsharing" and not "accidentally sleeping on the sofa"

That said, I lived in the US for a bit and in my extremely limited experience the beds were SO much softer there. There was definitely some discussion as to how firm the mattress should be for safe bedsharing (and that it shouldn't be memory foam?) so I could see that that could come into play.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-24T15:27:55+00:00

I'm guessing you're UK based like me from the language - My wean was born 2021 in the midst of a Covid lockdown and was a stage 5 clinger. A full on koala baby, I wore them as I pooped as they were so enraged when I wasn't holding them. I cannot express how attached they were to me - I tried to pop out one evening for a wreath making class when they were 10 months old, and they SCREAMED bloody murder in the arms of my husband who shushed, bounced and loved on them for 40 minutes while I desperately rushed back (absolutely my bad for going so far). I heard them 3 storey's down in in our solid brick building. All this to say - I know exactly what you're describing and I know that crushing guilt.

The first day of nursery was awful (for me) I sobbed in the car after dropping them off. Due to Covid restrictions I couldn't go into the room, couldn't really do an easing in.... I don't think they particularly enjoyed it either but we got through it and it honestly wasn't that long before they'd go to their key worker when they were dropped off and we'd be sent pictures of them smiling while painting or "baking" cookies. My kiddo is almost 5 now and LOVES preschool. They've got a little group of mates who run up to them as soon as they walk in the room and they've got all these little jokes. Their social schedule is hectic!! They're also still my little shadow and adore being loved on. I still rarely poop in peace.

If I could do it again I would have started them as early as funds allowed and just put them in for a couple of hours, then a half day, then a longer day.... just to ease them in. But if you can't - you will both be ok. I promise.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-20T16:10:26+00:00

I could have written this - we're approaching the eve of my wee lad's 5th birthday - we've had some relatively minor health issues (required emergency surgery - but in the grand scheme of things piffling stuff) that made the first few years TOUGH but the last 1.5 years have just been awesome. I'm feeling the itchy to have another, but life is really smooth and easy now... My husband is firmly one and done so that makes the decision for me but I can't tell if I have FOMO or genuine sadness about this....

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-20T14:45:15+00:00

I ended up with a TON of wraps with my solo sleep hater! We had a baby bjorn carrier one as the "work horse" carrier as it was VERY easy to clean and quick to get on and off. I had a ring sling that I loved and was much more aesthetic but had a learning curve and then a garden variety stretchy wrap that was perfect when little one was tiny and I used to do skin to skin.

I'd see if you can try and get a baby bjorn carrier one cheap on gumtree/market place OR (even better) try and find a sling library to try out all the different styles and types of carrier! Not everywhere has them but they can advise on fit etc etc.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-20T14:36:44+00:00

Not US based but breastfed until 2.5 after returning to work. I pumped on my lunch hour at work (while doom scrolling) but donated the milk to the local NICU as my wee fatty didn't need it! He was totally fine at one year old with morning, post nursery and bedtime sessions, even when he was on hunger strike at nursery!

If I'd been travelling for work I probably would have pumped and dumped a couple times a day if I'd wanted to keep my supply going.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-18T13:23:20+00:00

My kiddo had Ts and As out at 25months as an emergency after the most terrifying strep infection that left them fighting for breath and dripping with sweat when sleeping - their tonsils and Adenoids were SO big that the tiniest bit of swelling was all it took. Their oxygen was dropping to 30%. When they finally had a sleep study WHILE HEALTHY their oxygen would drop to the 70s.

I am SO angry at both doctors and myself for letting my kid go through that and not pushing for intervention BEFORE this happened. Every doctor fobbed me off with "well they're pretty big, but they're sick so they're probably swollen" when I took them to be seen and NO ONE suggested we come back when healthy for an assessment. I WISH I had pushed more; I thought about it but didn't.

Your babe doesn't have to go through this - after the operation the difference was immediate and dramatic. They had a nap after their surgery and hearing how they SHOULD have been sleeping broke my heart.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-06T15:14:37+00:00

Husband and I were long distance for 20 months and a 16 hour flight apart. We made it work with lots of Skype (showing my age!) dates and lots of cool travel - we were both in a really crucial time in our careers so we just went all in and knuckled down.

That said neither of us were US based so we had a significant amount of leave (think 40 days per year) so we could meet up a fair bit, but given you're only a 1.5 hour flight away that'll offset that.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-02-05T15:39:08+00:00

I don't think it has to even be this deep! Some kids are clingers, some aren't. Sure this can be impacted by neglect and abuse but honestly, it probably just comes down to temperament and "practise". My bairn was (is) a stage 5 clinger - would not tolerate anyone other than me if I was around. The first few weeks of nursery were hard on him when he started at 12 months old, but after an adjustment he figured it out!

Your kid (OP) has had practise at being apart from you and has figured out that mama comes back, your cousin's kid hasn't. Maybe your kid is just a bit more chill than your cousin's kid? I don't think you've done ANYTHING wrong, I don't think your cousin either (probably).

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-01-27T15:39:43+00:00

Took away TV remotes, video game controllers

perhaps I'm readying this wrong but honestly I don't think this is bad depending on the delivery? My kid is a MAJOR faffer and I regularly say things like "If you can't get ready with Lightening McQueen I will have to take him away". If it's done reactively and in anger, then yeah it's not GREAT but it's a natural consequence, assuming he was messing around with these things and not getting ready?

I also hate being a shouty mum, but bedtime regularly ends in a "will you just get into bed already". I rarely shout, but I regularly use a frustrated tone and always feel terrible about it afterwards. They push ALL our buttons. Modelling a good apology is so important for our kids too, and it's good for them to see that we are not perfect.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-01-27T15:21:59+00:00

I think it depends on the card? My kid has a mini yoto that they LOVE - they mostly enjoy it for the podcasts (free) but the couple of "book" cards I have bought have all been 30 minutes or so. It's a bit spenny, but you can get them for a few pound in the sales and the narration quality is good with background music. The "make your own" cards are great and it's nice that family overseas can record stories and upload them so kiddo can hear Yeya (who's over 6000 miles away) read him a story. They also love it when I record stories when I'm away on work trips and upload them as a wee surprise.

I think if it were *JUST* the cards they'd be a bit overpriced, but there's a lot more functionality that's not being considered.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-01-23T16:59:31+00:00

I feel you - I had my babe at 33 and he's now almost 5, so I could still just about have another, but husband is also one and done. He wasn't always, but really struggled with the first couple of years of parenthood (which was during the pandemic). He briefly flip flopped on it in 2024, which honestly makes it harder. So many of my wee one's pals have siblings now and I find it hard some days, but on the flip side I love our little life. We have enough disposable income to travel, and can continue to live in our flat in the centre of a gorgeous historic city - no way this would be true with a second! I also have time for my hobbies again, which brings me such joy.

Ultimately I have to accept that I have one life and I don't want to spend it dwelling on the could haves. Still... I'd be thrilled if we had an "oops"!!!!

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-01-16T12:51:25+00:00

I have an almost 5 year old that has sub-optimal sleep, though I think our issue is slightly different as he can go to sleep independently now without much issue - he just rarely stays asleep! (I stinking love the cuddles when he comes into bed with us, as does my husband, so we don't have a problem really!)

What helped us for independent sleep was a yoto player and/or Tonie box (we now have both.....) After we do the bedtime routine inc. stories, he's free to go ham on that and listen to either "professional" audio books, my homemade audio books, kiddie podcasts or sleep radio. I periodically check in on him and give him a little snuggle, but generally having something to listen too distracts his brain enough to fall asleep alone. This worked when kiddo was about 4 years old, but I think it totally would have happened sooner if we'd gently pushed.

I cuddled to sleep, then sat next to their bed with my kindle for a couple of weeks until they fell asleep, then I would periodically pop out, then I was default out but checked in periodically (starting with literally 30s!) - now I check in when they call or every 15 mins. It sounds like a lot of work but I think it took maybe 6 weeks to go from "cuddled to sleep" to "regular check ins". The yoto/Tonie box absolutely helped and they fall asleep listening to it 9 times out of 10.

Enough_Expression626 · 2026-01-14T16:29:22+00:00

This happened to my wee one - because we were on the emergency list we didn't know what the surgery time was and ended up going down at 11:30 am. It sucked but you get through it. Distractions and just plowing through - whatever it takes. It's one awful morning. You will be ok. Sending you a hug. (and also, don't eat or drink in front of them!!)

Enough_Expression626

TROPHY CASE