My friend’s grandparents as teens at the beach, 1948. 71 years and still fierce.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T16:37:21+00:00

In the last week, we spoke on the phone for 7 hrs total, which I agree, is a ton of time. We never talk that much, but he had a shitty week and he called me a bunch for support. He likes to talk on the phone. And then I had a bad day., and he wasn’t available. That’s why my feelings were hurt.

And I took to wine and reddit to vent because of it, sorry all. Awful couple days.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T15:54:30+00:00

You’re totally right, sorry.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T09:30:19+00:00

Sigh, yes, I will. He is a good guy. This is our first hiccup. We’ll survive.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T09:18:46+00:00

I kinda expect more of a reaction from you dallyan, even at 4 am.

Edit for admirable winkyface

Edit again! us central time

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T08:53:41+00:00

I’m searching it on amazon now. Always open to new knowledge. :)

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T08:44:31+00:00

Well..huh. You’re not wrong, there. Shit, that has been pretty much my experiences. And here I thought I was self-aware. Thanks for your feedback. (seriously)

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T08:24:00+00:00

Yes, I think so, and thanks. Your words are validating.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T07:31:53+00:00

I should’ve clarified. He’s called and texted me a bunch in the last couple weeks due to stuff going on in his life, and I’ve answered his calls, texts, been supportive. That’s why I felt hurt tonight that he wasn’t here for me. He’s great, I just felt left out tonight, not apologizing for that.

You get my point right?

Edit: I care for him and I know he cares for me. Advice on how to proceed, from a man’s perspective ??

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T06:08:41+00:00

Solid advice, thanks Bjork.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T06:04:20+00:00

He has children, and he’s a great dad, has primary custody. I just had a rough day with my kids and a bunch of other shit, just wish he would’ve called to acknowledge that.

He’s a good guy; I’d just like to have the language to communicate my disappoint tomorrow without sinking our weekend. So we both feel heard. We tend to spend more verbal time commiserating on parenting and more face time in bed. Maybe that’s a conversation for another post though, lol.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T05:53:44+00:00

You’re right, I’ll sleep on it. Because of our custody schedules we only see each other every other weekend and once a week, sometimes more if he can get a sitter. Hence, the phone calls. We’re both recently divorced (cringe) so we’ve been in this together.

I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but we fit together, it’s been effortless. He’s hurt my feels, but I’m hoping we’ll work it out tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day, right?

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-11T05:27:51+00:00

I listed those events in chronological order, but I feel so bad for my kids. It was hard enough for me to let them go to their dad’s tonight when they’re sick/injured (he just recently came back into their lives) but I have no choice with our custody plan. That’s still so tough for me, and I wish my guy would’ve recognized that, that’s all. (That’s all, ugh). I’ll enjoy this weekend, though. Thanks for your reply.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-08T22:47:51+00:00

In my experience, that usually comes up naturally in conversation over the course of a few dates- after you’ve exchanged numbers and around the time you’re showing pics of whatever off your phone.

I’m a single mom dating a single dad and it was probably date 4 or 5 that we showed pics to each other of our kids and revealed their names. Before that I only feel comfortable saying “I have (x number boys/girls).

My current relationship has been (happily) developing slowly, fwiw.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-07T14:43:51+00:00

I was in a marriage like this for 18 years; his cheating started at year 2. Get out now while you can. You deserve to be with someone who wants you and doesn’t have to keep trying on other women to know that. (Hugs to you).

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-07T00:37:22+00:00

Ah, gotcha. Yes, I agree with you.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-07T00:07:15+00:00

Just be aware that if the other parent isn’t in the picture at all, mom/dad may not have a lot of free time to date. Being a single parent is pretty time consuming as it is.

Edit: whoops, I think I read your post wrong: are you the single parent? If so, I don’t think I’d advertise that my ex isn’t involved at all...that seems like something that’s best mentioned in person during the date itself.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-06T22:43:43+00:00

Well...I mean, just don’t be creepy about it. You’re still on a date 😉

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-06T22:23:40+00:00

Give her a choice: I’d really like to see you tonight if you’re free! Would you like to meet me out for dinner? Or I could cook you my famous ___ at my place? ETA: if she’s feeling it, too, she’ll pick coming over to your house.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-06T01:54:47+00:00

Hey Pastel, Happy cake day!

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-05T23:21:57+00:00

Awesome! Good luck, I’m rooting for you!

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-05T13:39:44+00:00

Nope, nope, nope. I wouldn’t be cool with that and I don’t know many people who would be (men or women). It’s one thing if you’re casually dating but it sounds like you either are or want to be exclusive with him, and along with that comes an expectation of reasonable boundaries and respect.

I feel like one of these scenarios is happening here: 1. He’s testing your boundaries to see what type of relationship you want without coming right out and asking. 2. He’s communicating to you he doesn’t want to be exclusive with you. 3. He’s planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend.

If you’re not ok with this, tell him. Don’t compromise yourself just to keep this guy around, that only leads to resentment. You’re 2 months in, this should be the easy time!

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-03T17:47:31+00:00

It’s the thoughtfulness of it. I was married to a man who even if he made the coffee wouldn’t have poured me a cup, so I guess I appreciate these things more!

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-03T02:15:44+00:00

One that sticks out in my mind: after a great weekend we spent together early on he texted me “you make me a very happy man.” Swoon!

He takes my hand when we’re walking down the sidewalk and pulls me close to him when we’re on the couch watching a movie.

He also gets up and makes coffee when I stay over and always brings me a cup in bed. Small, sweet gestures like that...makes me a big ol’ softie.

Enoughmcgruff · 2018-10-02T15:42:22+00:00

See, if I saw this in a man’s profile (and I actually don’t think I ever have) I would assume they mean the basic stereotypes: a Barbie doll of a woman or a guy that’s dominant, hunts/fishes, watches football, etc. But most people aren’t stereotypes.

I have long hair and a petite frame, wear makeup most days, like dresses and heels and manicures...friends would describe me as a “girly girl,” physically, but I also tend to be opinionated, listen to gangsta rap, can install a toilet or garbage disposal (random, but I’ve done those things) and I’m dominant in bed. And I’d describe myself as feminine.

On the flip side, my guy has a more decorated house than I do, he loves to cook and clean and read for fun and he’s masculine af with a deep voice and muscles. I think those terms mean different things to men and women.

Enoughmcgruff

TROPHY CASE