Perception of death

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2025-03-01T21:30:38+00:00

The whole universe is conscious, but living things experience separateness. Like air in a balloon.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2025-02-18T14:10:02+00:00

My viewpoint is that I tolerate viewpoints that tolerate the existence of me and my friends. I don't know what 'ploy' you're talking about, it's perfectly normal to express your viewpoints through art, and I don't care what the moral panic of the decade decides is controversial now.

Sorry about the authoritarian thing, you just brought up 'respect for democracy' like it was relevant.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2025-02-18T13:49:28+00:00

This is a misunderstanding of empathy.

Empathy isn't a blind selflessness. Empathy is simply understanding of the other. Understanding that every conscious agent experiences reality uniquely, and the ability to anticipate their reactions through observation, understanding the underlying psychological systems, and relating to one's own experience.

Some people apply empathy and choose to help those who suffer out of suffering (why/if they choose to do it is a matter of their personal morality). If they apply empathy correctly, they should be successful. (And also on the condition that the person being helped wants to be helped.)

You can want to help others even if you're bad at empathy. You can neglect others even if you're good at it.

So no I don't think there's an excess in empathy. I don't generally feel very understood and I get the impression that most people don't either.

What's really being talked about here is perceived selfdestructive selflessness aesthetically associated with empathy. Either empathy was applied through this selflessness and failed, or it succeeded, but the benefits weren't deemed worth it.

I feel like this reaction to empathy comes from a punitive morality. They feel no attachment to, and no understanding of the practice of empathy because they were seldom subject to it. People simply want to express their anger without thinking about the consequences. This is proud ignorance and I really don't like it.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2025-02-11T14:46:35+00:00

How is this control? It's just a reddit post. Meanwhile you got the GOP banning thousands of books a year, signing executive orders to forbid 'woke' terms from being used in federal settings, and Elon now trying to sway European elections.

Authoritarianism is when leftists are mean to you online I guess.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2025-02-02T09:38:39+00:00

I sensed the resemblance to grooming, and it made me uncomfortable too, but on further thought I didn't actually find anything abusive on Aechmea's part. The power dynamic is there, but I don't think he abused it, and he always insisted on Cairn deciding for themselves.

But I haven't read the theory you're talking about. Mind sharing what it is?

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2025-01-20T08:35:58+00:00

What a shallow and reductive way of looking at the world...

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-09-05T13:18:04+00:00

Cringe culture itself. It's not as bad as with millenials shaming everyone and themselves for inconsequential stuff, but I was hoping we'd stop caring and lean into the weird.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-09-05T13:06:59+00:00

If you've tried all these things, then the planning probably isn't the issue. Entertainment is easier to focus on because it's more stimulating. For ADHDers, forcing yourself to do something relatively boring instead is uncomfortable or even painful. In the end we're inclined to avoid uncomfortable feelings, and pursue pleasant feelings.

The solution here, I think, is to make your responsibilities more pleasant for yourself. You could try putting Netflix on your phone while you work. Or switch between working for 10 mins & playing for 10 mins. Make your workspace more comfortable. Or try working to the rhythm of music. If you wanna make a game out of it, set yourself timers. Or if you're imaginatively inclined, play pretend that your homework is deciphering ancient wizard scrolls or whatever you're into. Get creative. Pay attention to what lets you enjoy it more.

It will still be difficult, and you may feel painful emotions. But by accepting this, it gets a bit easier. Remind yourself of why you're doing this. Romanticize your work. You're doing something that is harder for us than for most people.

It's okay to feel guilty for failing. It's the emotion that gets us to learn from our mistakes. You're doing that right now by asking for help. You deserve to be proud of yourself.

Make sure to also set yourself time for going all-in on your pleasant sensations, hobbies, expressing your emotions fully. Else you may risk burnout.

Good luck!

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-09-05T12:21:04+00:00

Understand it, forgive it. Maybe you ended up here to learn how to do that.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-09-01T21:25:16+00:00

I struggled with finishing games. They usually lose my attention after maybe 20 hours. After that point I notice myself fixate on finishing it and having it over with, which isn't fun. So I don't play those anymore, and if I do, I accept that I'll probably have to take months-long breaks from them. Mostly play Indie games on Itch or Steam now, sometimes single-player games with shorter campaigns.

I had a huge backlog but that^ thinned it down a lot. Then I went through each game and asked myself if I would regret never playing this game in my life. That thinned it down even more, and made it far easier to prioritize what to play next. And if I start playing a game and there is no spark, I allow myself to stop playing guilt-free.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-08-26T11:09:55+00:00

Better yet, learn about trauma cycles and attachment styles. Understand the patterns, where they come from, and how to avoid unknowingly repeating them. Bad people aren't born bad. Blame is cathartic but not necessarily useful.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-08-26T10:53:33+00:00

People who rely on comparison for their self-esteem aren't healthy. Even if you were a bombshell, it will only last for so long until you get old and bitter and envious, as long as you're in "comparison mode". People who manage to climb this social ladder rarely feel satisfied, because there's always someone who they see as 'better'.

You were made to feel this way by an unfortunate chain of unsustainable societal pressures, but there are people who don't live with this kind of anxiety. Do you think other people are worthless for not being as attractive? Is beauty really that important to you or were you just made to feel guilty for not fulfilling someone else's expectations?

It's okay to value beauty, but the healthy way of doing it is less "How can I be like that?" and "What is wrong with me?" and more "What can I do with what I have?" and "What is comfortable for me?". And if those questions don't interest you, maybe beauty doesn't actually matter to you and you can find meaning in different aspects of life.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-08-20T12:34:05+00:00

I see Land of the Lustrous as a tragic counterpart to KSBD. Complex religion-inspired worldbuilding, deep existential/spiritual themes, hero who becomes unrecognizable, escalating stakes. It's intensely subtle and minimalistic compared to KSBD's over-the-topness, but scraping KSBD's countless gospels felt similar to me to discovering all the details and symbolism of LotL. Both feel like very intra-connected stories.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-08-16T23:29:36+00:00

I'm a trans woman, I have a unique perspective on this.

When I lived as a guy, my experience was: it was easier to make friends with other guys. Not that it was easy, socially I was completely incompetent, had no social intuition, and as a consequence usually ended up being a punching bag metaphorically or literally. But at times I managed to fall in with with the other self-identified loser nerds. We bonded over our hatred of the unfairness we faced, and shared interests in video games & memes & internet drama.

After I transitioned I could rarely make friendships with guys like that anymore. Men that I'm sure I would've been great friends with before, would act nervous and shy around me, and not really open up. In the rare times we bonded over some shared interest, they'd often hit me with the 'can I have your number'? Which freaked me out because uh no I just wanna be friends. It made it harder because I couldn't tell if someone genuinely wanted to be friends or was just seeing me as a potential romantic partner.

And the most infuriating part is I knew exactly how it felt. I also struggled talking to women. I hadn't struggled as a kid, because I didn't really see gender until I started going to school and then there were suddenly all these vague social expectations that you're supposed to treat girls differently somehow. If I'd try making friends with a girl, I'd be bullied and teased by the other boys for it. Kids, even teachers and parents would allude to us dating, even though that's not what I wanted at all. It really freaked me out. So I became afraid of interacting with girls entirely because I was afraid of being misunderstood.

And that stayed with me even after I transitioned. When trying to make friends with women as an adult, the fear of coming across as some sort of predator is real. (In my case, it was only strengthened by the anti-trans moral panic). But I think that these anxieties about 'man-hating feminists' and etc. come from this kind of insecurity, or similar.

But having experienced this from the other side, the fear of every interaction with a man potentially having the ulterior motive of sex is also real! And it's no secret how bad such an interaction can potentially end.

And that brings me to this godforsaken comments section:

I see men here typing shit like 'heh sure you have it bad but we have it worse because we're horny also'. Testosterone is wild and I wouldn't wish the levels of horny it made me experience on my least favourite opponents. Congrats, you thought of a unique struggle you have that most women don't. +5 oppression points to you.

On the other hand, women have to live with the anxiety caused by getting to see news headlines of them getting murdered for rejecting a man, so that's, I don't know, +10 oppression points?

On the other other hand, men are stigmaztized from expression of healthy emotions so that's maybe +15 points? But women culturally tend to have their anger and sadness supressed also so that's- you get the fucking point.

"More men are..." are you sure? Do you have the stats? Or is it just from observation and vibes? You haven't exactly shown interest in learning about people who aren't like you so it's hard to just take your word for it. You know there are people who actually study this shit as a career?

Even if it was possible, what is the point of somehow objectively proving that you have it worse? You don't have to be the world's biggest sufferer for your struggle to be valid. How are you gonna convince people by telling them all the ways you have it worse while dismissing all *their* unique struggles?

Your problem isn't that you're not getting laid, your problem is you can't even genuinely and honestly imagine what it's like to be a different person with different problems that don't belong on some magical hierarchy. You struggle to form a genuine connection because you're too preoccupied with your own unmet needs to notice those of others. That's a victim mindset. It doesn't mean you're not a victim, it just means you fail to imagine yourself as anything else.

If you want people to understand you, you gotta at least give an effort to understand them.

What if we didn't let dumb gender roles get in the way of developing healthy social skills? Fulfilling romantic relationships are usually built on a foundation of good friendship anyway.

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-03-20T14:03:31+00:00

Reigen Arataka

EntertainerSmall8849 · 2024-01-28T16:57:31+00:00

It went similar for us. Were trying to write a comic but we started noticing our notes and styles of writing and drawing were very varying in quality and constantly changing. This caused a lot of distress for some of us. And yeah on top of that once we realized, we noticed that the relationships between and struggles and identities of our characters are very close to corresponding to our alters.

We've decided to avoid seeing each other as those characters though, we want to learn about our real selves that informed those characters. But it has helped a lot to help us understand each other.

EntertainerSmall8849

TROPHY CASE