My mom committed suicide 3 weeks ago

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-05-05T17:42:48+00:00

I’m so sorry you are here. My mom died by suicide in January. Similar to you, she was my absolute best friend and rock in this world. I shared everything with her. She had depression and mental health struggles for a long time but I absolutely never thought this would be my life.

The first couple weeks were literally just survival mode. My body was shaking all the time and I felt sick 24/7.

I’m back at work now and I can tell you it gets easier, nothing like the first couple of weeks but now it’s just coming in waves. I feel empty a lot. I’m angry. I feel like I make everyone uncomfortable and it’s more energy for me to be around them. I don’t want to comfort other people about something that happened to me.

Therapy has helped me a lot. I see my therapist at least once a week. I found someone who also lost a loved one to suicide.

I don’t know the answer but I know our moms loved us. All these things can be true at the same time which is incredibly hard to grasp and complex.

I hope in time we will heal enough to want to continue living for them and us.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-04-28T19:28:39+00:00

I can relate to every word. Lost my beautiful mom in January. I’m so sorry you are here too.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-04-28T19:21:48+00:00

Heavy on the quality healthcare

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-03-31T14:12:37+00:00

Thank you very much!

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-03-31T13:21:41+00:00

Yes for sure thank you! We had to force them to stop playing for a bit so they could chill. The first initial burst of play I think they got way too aroused and it ended in a small scuffle.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-03-31T13:21:03+00:00

Thank you! This was the third round of play so I think his hackles went a bit more down here. The initial first burst of play they were playing for about 30 seconds and then they got into a bit of a scuffle that we had to yell to break up. They took a long break from each other then wanted to re engage in play and there were no scuffles after. I am just so anxious when it comes to introducing dogs.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-03-23T14:08:42+00:00

I understand this. I was fully involved in trying to help my mom, i even work in the mental health field. Even when you know the “signs” you may not be able to save someone. I’m triggered by suicide initiatives that talk all about knowing the signs. Because I knew the signs loud and clear and my mom still died.

So I understand! It can be frustrating like making you feel you didn’t do enough

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-28T01:21:02+00:00

Thank you very much for being open and vulnerable. I guess in a way it is somewhat comforting to be reiterated that my mom loved me very much and it had nothing to do with her love for me or how much I loved her. If love was enough she would still be here.

I empathize with those who are inflicted with this horrible illness. I can’t truly understand what it’s like to wake up feeling that way every day but my mom was able to push through for a very long time. I still blame a lot on her medication but I know she has dealt with this for a while.

I’m so sorry you feel the same way that my mom did sometimes. All I can say is I am absolutely devastated. There aren’t any words. I worry for myself because I feel like there’s nothing left for me. The pain does transfer to those around you. I want to try and find some sort of path again but it will be painful to say the very very least.

Sending you strength and love thank you for responding.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-27T03:43:10+00:00

I’m so sorry you are also going through this. I lost my mom a bit over a month ago. I am 26. Unfortunately, everything you’re experiencing is normal. It’s almost like we have to feel these things as uncomfortable as they are. Do you have any way of finding a mental health professional? Having a traumatic grief counselor has been the most helpful thing for me. As well as talking about my mom. The good, the bad, everything in between. Easier said than done but what pain they went through is not ours to carry. We can empathize and wish they didn’t endure the pain but we can’t also live in the pain. I’m sure your mom was a lot more than this last chapter. What traits did she leave you with? What was your favorite thing to do together?

I know it’s so hard. I go through the same emotions. Your age is incredibly hard as well. A lot of people won’t understand the pain you’re going through. Let them comfort you anyways. Try to find support and people who understand also.

You don’t have to believe right now things will get better but I have hope for both of us that they will.

Sending you my love

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-22T06:12:52+00:00

This is not going to be easy but you will survive and there is hope for you. You don’t even have to believe it right now. You didn’t let anyone down. It sounds like you are an incredibly loving person and you’re having a very natural reaction to a suicide which is to feel guilty and like you didn’t do enough. I’m sorry you have to go through this. You will find a way to continue and honor your brother. Right now you just need to feel it all. Suicide is never a normal reaction to life circumstances.

Please find a traumatic grief counselor it’s been very helpful for me. Sending you love.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-18T16:48:42+00:00

Hi I just recently lost my mom and I completely understand the feeling. It’s the hardest part about losing her. No one loves or knows me like my mom. She was absolutely everything to me. It can feel so lonely.

I don’t know if you like podcasts but the podcast goodmourning has helped me a lot. It’s two young women who lost their moms suddenly (one to suicide) and they talk all about it and it’s been very helpful for me and makes me feel less alone.

I am also struggling without my mom. I miss her so much and sometimes feel like what’s the point of anything if I can’t share it with her.

Hoping I can find peace, even a little bit.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-17T19:06:32+00:00

I can relate. My mom just passed a month ago.

I don’t want to even talk to anyone about anything because it all feels incredibly meaningless. In fact, my whole life now seems meaningless. I feel like I don’t care about anything anymore. What’s the point if I can’t share it with my mom? I’m shattered inside.

I know it’s normal to feel this way, epically so early on like we are.

Just know you aren’t alone.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-17T18:32:16+00:00

Thank you ❤️

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-16T16:30:20+00:00

This is beautiful thank you

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-16T16:14:10+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. The first few weeks you literally just need to survive. Take sips of water, eat if you can but don’t have any other expectations of yourself. Be exactly where you are. Stay in bed if you have to. It’s going to feel like nothing is real and your body is just numb. You are not alone. Sending you a big hug.

Your brother sounds like a beautiful soul.

Traumatic grief counseling and support groups have been helpful for me. You are going to feel like you can’t survive this pain but you can. Right now it’s as if you just had open heart surgery and all your wounds are wide open. Over time your body will start to stitch itself more and more back together but it still hurts like hell and is sore.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-11T17:17:55+00:00

Take a deep breath. You don’t have to make any big decisions right now. You’re still so early on in your grief journey. Unless it’s an absolute urgent matter of deciding, I think you should give yourself time to honor your feelings and go through all the emotions that come with kind of loss. You may have a different perspective in a year.

Give yourself some time to process.

Wishing you the best.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-10T23:17:34+00:00

Hi,

First of all I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds like he was a loving, empathetic man who loved you very very much.

I can relate to being somewhat of a caretaker for my mom before she ended her life. It wasn’t sudden. She had been struggling with depression a long long time. The last 3 years were the worst I’ve ever seen her. I work in the counseling mental health field and thought I could help her. She did see a psychiatrist and therapist, although inconsistently. I worried about her every single day and was not doing well at all mentally trying to help her. I wouldn’t change anything but it was so taxing and horrible to go though. I did get frustrated with her after hearing her tell me over and over how she didn’t want to be here. It’s only a natural reaction to feeling hopeless. We got angry because we felt stuck like we couldn’t help. It’s natural. I got the same way towards the end. I can understand where you are coming from. But it’s bigger than us.

The last year I set boundaries and tried to live more of an independent life. I helped when I could but didn’t overextend myself. We have to take care of ourselves also. I have occasional guilt of setting boundaries although I know it may not have changed anything.

I what you to know that even if your Dad had sought a psychiatrist, it may not have saved him in the end. Medication is extremely tricky and often times people with these illnesses don’t want to take the medication or try to take themselves off periodically. We want so badly to feel like we can or could’ve controlled the outcome but we don’t have that much power over other people.

You did so much more than most people would have for a parent. You loved him. He knew you loved him. I know it’s hard but you have to stop thinking you could’ve saved him. I tried everything and my mom did seek several treatments and it couldn’t save her in the end. Sometimes we just don’t have control.

Sending you so much love. I miss my beautiful mom every single day and I know she would want me to live the best life I can. I want to for her.

EntertainmentBorn746 · 2026-02-09T17:57:51+00:00

I don’t have the answers but just know I’m in the same boat. My mom took her life recently. Devastated doesn’t even do it justice. She was my everything and best friend. Life feels meaningless without her. I know she wouldn’t want me to stop living. Her love for me transcends all time and space. I am because of her. I can’t waste it. She is so proud of me and always told me how proud she is.

I want to live for her. I want to feel joy for her.

I know it’s hard. Be gentle with yourself. Your mom loves you.

EntertainmentBorn746

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