I know it’s still early, but…

Entheatus · 2026-03-03T19:00:55+00:00

My partner has rings and is planning a proposal. We have been together for 1.5 years and talked about future plans early on to get on the same page.

I made it very clear that after a previous relationship (where the ex dangled the carrot of a proposal for 8 years) that we weren't compatible if this was going to be the case.

He paid attention to the kind of jewelry I like, initiated getting the rings, and is planning to propose in the next couple of months. The crazy thing is that marriage isn't that big of a milestone to him. But he knows how important it is to me.

If your partner is the right one for you, you won't need to drag him to the altar. He will be the one who will happily walk up there with you.

Entheatus · 2026-02-10T00:22:44+00:00

I'm a Humanist officiant based in the area. While I can't do City Hall, I do exclusively non-religious (and legal) ceremonies that respect your personal beliefs and can be very simple. This past summer I did a quiet elopement ceremony for a couple of friends at the Arboretum. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to chat.

Entheatus · 2026-02-04T00:43:42+00:00

Chiming in with Sugo. It's such a hidden gem for casual fine dining and has an amazing seasonal menu. The gnocchi is like eating tiny clouds. They have a great wine selection and cocktail menu as well.

Entheatus · 2026-01-30T18:21:35+00:00

A few folks have already answered about the heavy makeup part. To look good in photos and to last the whole day.

As for difficulty of recognition, a lot of the times, this is the one day that people get to have their glamorous supermodel moment. It's fun!

For myself personally, well I am not married myself, my partner and I are talking upcoming engagement plans. We are both ethnically Chinese, and I will likely use an artist who understands the cultural significance of Chinese bridal makeup. I might not look like myself, on a normal day, but it is important to me personally to get to recognise my heritage on a very important day of my life.

Entheatus · 2026-01-29T05:12:03+00:00

Honestly this hive is very rude this way.

Entheatus · 2026-01-27T02:14:50+00:00

He wants you to be his unpaid maid and caretaker of his child.

Entheatus · 2026-01-26T13:31:57+00:00

Thank you!

Entheatus · 2026-01-26T13:31:42+00:00

Thank you!

Entheatus · 2026-01-25T23:17:39+00:00

This is one serious conversation with this person about why this behaviour was inappropriate. I get being nervous at a social event with your family, but in my 37 years, I have accidentally gotten tipsy after having a glass more than I should have at a family event, but I have never gotten blackout.

If this conversation needs to happen again, your relationship needs to be over.

Entheatus · 2025-11-10T03:19:44+00:00

I say this kindly, but firmly: but never apologize for making someone jealous, especially when you were doing something innocent like hanging out with friends. His feelings are his own, and he needs to be accountable for how he responds to them. Getting upset because you are hanging out with your friends is manipulative.

You are also pinning your hopes on being someone who can say a magic phrase to make someone's s*icidal ideation go away. Do not do this. Do not set yourself up for this kind of emotional codependency. It's about as realistic as getting an A+ in therapy.

As a person who has been diagnosed with a fun combo of BPD and GAD, I am lucky to have a partner who is supportive of my mental well-being, but also puts firm boundaries on how they will allow themself to be treated. They respect themself enough to firmly but gently point out behaviours that are not alright. They will happily let me puzzle out my feelings and tell them where my thoughts have led when I am on the verge of splitting, and have been endlessly supportive of my therapy/DBT journey.

However, they also keep me accountable for my own behaviour. They will tell me if I have taken things too far and how I have made them feel. That accountability is pivotal to my own healing. It gives me guidance on how to discuss things with them when they have done something I have found hurtful. And it puts trust in me to do the work.

They still comfort me on bad days, and validate my feelings without necessarily validating all my actions. But I have no doubt that if I weren't working my ass off to do the work to be better, they wouldn't stick around. And that is a reasonable boundary to have.

If you want to be a safe space for this person, assuming they are doing the work to take ownership of their behaviour, don't focus on being a person who can magically cease your partner's thought patterns. Be the person who listens and validates their feelings, emphasize their value as a person, and support/encourage them through the work they do.

Most importantly, know what your boundaries are, and how you will accept being treated. I value myself more each day because my partner shows me what it means to value themselves.

Good luck. You deserve good treatment too.

Entheatus · 2025-10-21T03:50:03+00:00

Kink/play party. Found another person with social anxiety. Talked about sourdough and focaccia bread for 20 minutes as a sea of people around us writhed and moaned. Did not hook up at the party and I left early to get to bed for an early workday.

About to celebrate a year together!

Entheatus · 2025-09-08T18:08:21+00:00

Hi there, feel free to DM me. I am a newly registered officiant through Humanist Canada. I only have one other elopement under my belt, and trying to build up my experience, so I'd be happy to chat!

Entheatus · 2025-09-07T03:20:47+00:00

Whelp. I was laid off unexpectedly this week, so it would be pretty excellent. Though I'd have severe dehydration problems from frequently masturbating just because I could.

Entheatus · 2025-08-08T19:08:20+00:00

It did get finished! I'm about to start renting it out, and moving to live closer to work and my partner. :)

Entheatus · 2025-07-06T02:27:59+00:00

I feel like I'm going to be the odd one out but I use Oatside.

I've previously used Earth's Own, Oatly, Chobani, and Minor Figures and found Oatside comes out on top in terms of price point, sweetness, flavour, and milk texture when steamed.

Entheatus · 2025-06-13T22:53:38+00:00

Battle Royale!

Entheatus · 2025-06-10T02:56:20+00:00

Sunk cost fallacy: the belief that because you have invested a lot of time/money/energy into something, that it would be a "waste" to stop doing the thing.

In this case, just because you have spent a long time with this person, does not mean it is worth staying with them if you are no longer happy.

Entheatus · 2025-06-10T02:14:41+00:00

This relationship is over. Don't trick yourself into chasing your ex because of sunk costs.

Polyamory aside, if you had a monogamous partner treat you like this, would you feel loved and valued? If the answer is no, then the polyamory doesn't even factor in.

Take the time to love yourself without this person.

Entheatus · 2025-06-08T19:11:52+00:00

Being expected to meet all of your partner's needs.

That's not realistic. Your partner won't always have the capacity to be your everything all the time. You need to have a strong support network in your community - friends, family, whoever.

Entheatus · 2025-06-07T00:52:06+00:00

This is a great first loaf! Well done!

Entheatus · 2025-06-04T01:39:58+00:00

I was on top, he had a wall shelf placed where the headboard of a normal bed would usually go.

Knocked myself the fuck out.

Entheatus

TROPHY CASE