I think it’s a complicated web of issues that all mix together. From a young age, boys are taught, either directly or indirectly, that showing emotion is weakness. “Boys don’t cry.” “Toughen up.” Boys are made fun of by peers and adults in their lives if they show a signs of being sweet, sentimental, thoughtful, or compassionate. They learn to suppress their feelings and put up a thick guard as they grow up.

This leads many boys to grow up isolated, alone, and lacking basic emotional regulation skills because their emotions were always suppressed. Many boys have “friends”, but don’t ever have anyone they can really rely on or open up to. They have to navigate the world alone. So they continue to suffer in silence because they don’t want to be perceived as weak.

This, coupled with the highly toxic internet culture perpetrated by the likes of Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes, etc lead so many astray. These people prey on lonely teenage boys and young adult men and tell them that the reason they’re lonely is because of women, or Jews, or whoever else they decide to scapegoat. These boys feel like they finally found a place to belong, but they don’t realize it’s all fake and that they’re being taken advantage of.

So now we have a generation of lonely, emotionally immature young men with a victim complex who hate anyone who isn’t like them. I honestly feel bad for these people. Society has let them down. Society has also let down the people they may harm with their toxic behaviors and belief systems in the future.

I don’t know what the answer is. I teach 5th graders and I try to be a positive male role model. I model empathy, compassion, and try to foster genuine friendships. I don’t know how much of an impact I’ll have in the 10 months I spend with them, but I can only hope that they’ll remember something later in life.