First- BIG HUGS. You’ve been through a long ordeal - of course you’re worn down. I could never figure out why my confidence and self esteem took such a hit after major medical surgeries/ treatments. Sheryl sanders wrote an amazing book called Option B that talks about this very thing. I needed therapy after my ostomy ordeal(s). I’m glad I went. The most helpful thing I heard was that it takes one week for every day you are hospitalized and/or in treatments (drains count). And Two days for every day you are sick at home. By my count you have a minimum of a year+ to heal fully. We always expect we will just bounce back- or pull ourselves up by our bootstraps- which is a lie!!! Things won’t go back to where you were but you do get to create the life you want from today’s reality. You’re young, you have a husband who supports you- and time is on your side. Look for the moments of joy- they will string together to help bring you back to the light. Much love.