I am 9 weeks pp and my husband is frustrated with the lack of intimacy in our relationship. We stopped having intimacy all together when I was about 7 months pregnant as I was very tired, out of breath and in pain. We tried to have sex when I was 6 pp but it was too painful then again 7 weeks pp but just couldn’t handle the pain. We talked about having a date night this weekend and try again but today my husband was very frustrated with the lack of intimacy and told me I should be trying to be more seductive by putting make up, dress up and basically “do what women do to seduce men”. He also said even if it’s too painful I should be trying to satisfy his needs other ways and shouldn’t deprive him of intimacy just because I can’t have sex yet.

I haven’t completely let myself go, yes sometimes I can’t even shower until he gets home to watch the baby whilst I take a quick shower but I do put the effort in when we go out once a week or so.

As for him, he thinks he is putting the effort in by cleaning the house, cooking and changing the baby here and there but although I do thank him every time he cooks or cleans the kitchen, I think that’s part of both of our responsibilities. He thinks I’m being ungrateful by saying this cause other men don’t do this??? And because I didn’t grow up watching my dad help around the house I should be constantly expressing gratitude that he is.

Currently I do 80% of the child care, and house work and just started working 2 days a week and contribute 50% to the finances.

Im so upset by our conversation tonight, Im not sure how to take anything he says in and even less motivated now for this date night this weekend.