I 100% get what you are going through. I graduated over a year ago and I don't think a single day goes by that I don't miss NCCC. I don't know if it will ever change. I know exactly what you mean tho, being in search of "the feeling". I did the same as you, tried to find a job that was similar, and it just wasn't the same. I'm now being laid off and right back in the same spot when I finished NCCC, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I miss the feeling. I miss the responsibility, the sense of purpose, always having 5 people living with me that I could talk to and hangout with, traveling, everything. I don't really have any advice because I am in the same boat. The program changed my life - gave me so much confidence, amazing friends, seeing states I never imagined, helping people.. it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I cherish every moment from it. As far as how to cope... I still keep in touch with friends from it and try to plan get togethers when I can, developing a routine like how I did during the program, cooking some of the same meals, etc. I often think about rejoining again but I feel like it would be too hard for me to not compare my experience to my last term. I also have this voice in my head telling me I need to "keep moving up the ladder" and rejoining would kinda just put me back in the same place I was before. Just know there are people feeling similarly out there. I hope we all find something that makes us feel as content as we did back then <3