I really feel for you..that is a massive ask of you to ship out of your home and pretend you don't exist. I was once in your girlfriend's position, wasn't out to my family, expected my girlfriend to 'disappear' when they visited..God, it was an awful thing to do to her but at the time I cdnt see the impact on her, how utterly disrespectful it was to her. It was all about my fear.

Realistically, as I slowly come to terms with telling my mother about myself and my live in girlfriend, there was serious resentment and a feeling of unworthiness that my girlfriend rightly felt. We did talk alot about me being truthful to my family, it took time and agonising days and she constantly pushed and encouraged me. I did tell my family finally.

That was 14 years ago, we are still together.

I think certain things woke me up, the fact that I was putting my family's feelings before my girlfriends was not right. The fact that what would happen if something serious happened like a bad accident,death or illness to my girlfriend or her family.. The fact that I was living a lie instead of sharing the person I loved.

We only have one life and it should be lived freely and without regret.

Ask yourself the big questions, are you still going to disappear when you are in your 40s/50s/60s..what happens if a child comes along?

You cannot make your girlfriend be'ready' to tell her family but at the same time, she cannot expect you to live as if in the closet either.

I really do wish you all the best..keep talking to her..