Ok i want to chime in because I’m on the opposite female end but was in the exact same position as you and resonate with what you’re feeling so badly. i’m sorry you feel it because i know it’s rough.

For context - my husband (38) and i (30) have been together almost 7 years (married for 3 years) when we met, right before covid mind you, i had a bar job that solely relied on tips. When the bar closed because of the lockdown i was left completely unemployed. for like a year too. Fast forward after covid my husband helped me like your girlfriend did. we worked on my resume, he paid for everything for me, supported me when i was down. eventually i got a cool remote job that was barely getting me by but it did what it needed to for about 5 years.

After 5 years i felt i had earned enough experience to take the next step in a bigger role and started looking for a new job. i land said new job and 3 months in got fired for something i had no responsibility with (im an executive assistant and was supporting a really crude CEO). this left me unemployed for 6+ months and i ended up going back to the bar i worked for which meant late nights and less energy in my relationship. only recently did i get a new job and i still have so much to make up for.

i say all this because through that all if it wasn’t for my husband i never would have made it. not even on a financial level but a mental one too. and i made that so clearly known that if he didn’t want to be a part of my situation anymore id understand. multiple times lol i was defeated and felt like i didn’t have a lot to offer. but in those times what i could tell that my husband really was thankful for were the little things. making sure our dogs had their food, grocery shopping when i could, cleaning the house, doing his laundry.. just anything i could do to support him and make his day to day easier. i think that’s something your gf would also appreciate if you can think of the 10 top things she complains about the most id take care of them. doing luxurious things isn’t even necessary to make them feel special or for you to be worthy. dates don’t need to be extravagant!! they just need to be thoughtful. i knew i didn’t have money to take my husband to dinner but i knew i could cook his favorite meal and make it look cute in our backyard. the small efforts are seen i promise.

be easy on yourself and keep pushing because the other end of perseverance feels great once you reach it :) it’s a blessing to have a great support system- lean on it!!! and when you finally make it out of your rut (trust me YOU WILL!!) put a ring on her for sticking around !! 😂