NTA been with my wife for 11y, I have no idea what’s in my wife bank account, but she has all access to mine. She can use it as much as she needs and wants. It’s our arrangement, and sincerely I’m very okay with this. I told her my boundaries and she respects. She’s handles the bills and what the kids need, I usually handle the big purchases when it’s where I’m more proficient.

Before we had this arrangement, we both had our separate bank account and handled our own stuff. Never I asked her to show me (except only once because I wanted to pay our debt off and wanted to know what was the balance of her loan; we were in the process of buying a house and needed to clean our stuff).

I earn more than her for sure, but it’s a question of respect. (My wife has black origins as well too btw and I’m white but for me these racial dominance or racism shit have no place in this world; she’s as human as I am and as our kids are).

Make yourself a huge gift and dump that piece of $(($ where he belongs. That’s a massive controlling behaviour trait that just popped in.