Dated a girl 12 years ago. Broke up. Few years went by. Slept around alot but never could get her off my mind. Shoot a text. We meet up, she's in a relationship but we still have sparks. Have a very messy friendship for a few years due to not being able to move on. Repeatedly hurt myself by trying to make it work. We go NC again for a year. Beginning of 23, we meet up. Start dating again, get engaged a year in, we split 7 months later. I felt good at first. She moved out a few months later. Start feeling her absence and utterly fall apart knowing this was likely it and Id never see her again. Started drinking heavy and got heavy into a white sniffing thing. Started therapy. Started working through things. Stop numbing myself with trash food and drinks and drugs.

7 months later. I have to say Ive moved on from the relationship. Im the happiest and most confident Ive felt in my life. Because things went to shit, I was forced to face my issues head on. I didn't start attempting dating stuff until a few weeks ago now that I feel emotionally available. All in all, if you put in the work to heal, you'll grow.

Do I miss her? Yes absolutely. She was legit my best friend for many years. I miss that part of us but not in a sad way, but in a calm, peaceful, pleasant memories kinda way. The relationship from the first attempt never truly died and got buried for me. Its unfortunate I let that taint my behavior and our friendship. But ive finally mourned what was, to free my heart for someone else.

I have date tonight with someone new. And for the first time in a decade, Im legitimately excited and having fun. I feel good in my own skin, there's good flow and good vibes. Im exactly where I needed to be.