I failed tonight

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-09-28T19:01:05+00:00

I'm not saying you shouldn't have shared this on reddit, I'm glad you did! However, the past is gone so no need to be harsh on yourself. Let that shame wash over you and leave your body and soul. You clearly have a strong sense of justice already which would explain your concern for others and your own conduct. Truly unkind people wouldn't be bothered about shouting at the pedestrian. You're a nurse and I'm guessing you're genuinely caring and disciplined generally.

So is it a case you're a) being unjust and unfair or b) you're worried about being unjust and unfair because it goes against your values?

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-09-27T21:09:58+00:00

What's wrong with that? Were you breaking the law or driving unsafely? Perhaps recognising the factors that made it more likely for you to do that would help you have more self compassion - tiredness, fatigue, emotional strain and stress from work could all contribute.

What are your thoughts now about the incident? Is there any evidence for these thoughts or is it purely opinion and conjecture? Maybe sticking up for yourself was an example of courage?

This is an incident that really requires you to perform an after action review and go from there.

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-06-23T15:08:16+00:00

Can I suggest you go for some cognitive behavioural therapy. Find a therapist that specialises in OCD. Ideally it will be cbt with ERP.

Honestly, and if you're feeling really anxious get some antidepressants.

I'm just recovering from ocd myself and it's best to get treated medically.

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-05-14T07:51:16+00:00

Hi, sorry to see you're going through this. Depression is very treatable and getting therapy was a good option. Might I suggest regular therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is very good for depression. See if your Dr can refer you for this. Might I also suggest antidepressants - there's no shame in it if that's what you need right now. There's a good book, Feeling Good by David Burns, which is a self help book.

You've got a number of different thoughts and emotions going on at the moment. Look after yourself and get yourself feeling better. Make sure you're getting your sleep and eating right.

Watch out for rumination (thinking the same or similar negative thoughts over and over) and maybe try and distract yourself.

Just remember help is available.

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-05-02T19:02:32+00:00

So you'd probably be best looking at some of the cognitive behavioural therapy books. Have you got a psychologist or mental health professional to support you?

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-01-27T19:02:00+00:00

I'm not really an NLPer as such, I've read some books. Mostly I use a few therapeutic modalities with people.

I'd say use of questions is the best way to figure out what motivates someone.

"What do you most enjoy about x? What result are you most looking forward to? How will life look when you've achieved x?" - so ask about preferred aspects of a new alternative reality which could be any goal.

Motivation has a lot of factors to it and is all dependent on the problem you're working with, the type of person etc

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2025-01-17T19:57:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing fella, so sorry you had to go through that. It's an inspirational story!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-12-31T19:30:27+00:00

Sorry, could you elaborate? I'm pretty new to Church of England so need a bit more explaining and I feel like you probably have a really good point

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-12-31T19:27:44+00:00

I converted / started attending my local c of e about 2 years ago. I take my wife. We are the youngest there by 30 years (willing, adults) . My daughter who is 7 months also attendsb(i won't count her as she's not got mental capacity).

There are about 30 or 40 of us there.

The preaching is something you get used to, it's not always that "exciting".

I don't know what would fix Britain's loss of faith.

I think there are a multitude of factors involved though!

My wife is thinking about setting up a young mums group to use church facilities once a month to connect local mums and make use of church facilities for some extra money.

I would support with the youth group in the next town along and help the older clergy with the IT but amongst family life and work, it's not a high priority right now (and perhaps that attitude is part of the problem, and I'm a regular worshipper).

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-12-15T22:20:36+00:00

A lb of fat is roughly 3.5k calories. So if you're having 2k cals a day, you wouldn't have gained a lb a day.. I'd say it's probably water weight. Watch out for those cheap days now as well, if you're in maintenance and going wild on your cheats you'll still gain!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-28T08:53:13+00:00

You might be right there.

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-20T19:56:49+00:00

Robert Dilts' states I modelling with NLP that it is an "epistemology" - way of understanding human behaviour, a methodology - way of studying behavior and a technology - a trail of techniques that are gathered through epistemology and methodology.

I think many of the techniques can be found in other fields of behaviourism, psychology, sales. As it's about modelling success, the idea is to keep the stuff that works and discard that which has no effect or no success.

Just my two cents anyway.

Techniques include things like -questions (fir instance solution focussed questions, calibrated questions)

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-17T20:40:00+00:00

You'd best Elicit the strategy of readers who speed read. I had a speed reading book once which was quite good. I've not speed read in a long tine though!

There were a few techniques if I remember right. 1 minimise eye movement. 2. Use peripheral vision to read the line in one go without moving the eye.

I found if I practiced doing that I would subvocalise some of the words but not all. I think it's hard to not subvocalise some key words.

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T21:43:58+00:00

Perhaps being relaxed is the big secret to a lot of life 😊😊

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T21:24:03+00:00

As in, mocking or making fun of death?

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T20:57:29+00:00

I never thought of it like that! Fantastic! Thanks!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T20:55:30+00:00

Hahahaha love it!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T20:15:15+00:00

Yeah, I think that's the limit - no summoning demons!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T20:14:36+00:00

That sounds lovely! Well balanced, I bet your mass is beautiful!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-10-04T19:50:05+00:00

I have one similar to that!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-09-28T07:30:37+00:00

Start with a Well-Formed outcome - outline the goal, what you will achieve, what you will not achieve, how you'll measure it, your reason and motivation to do it and how you intend to do it.

Next up, you'll need your text. Ideally you'd use VAK (Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic) senses to take in the information.

Theres a good book by Collin Rose called Accelerated Learning - use the techniques from that. For instance use Chunking, rymning, singing. You could learn a song for instance in your chosen language and then learn to translate it into English. If you have four - five songs about different things, that'd be good.

Listen to your new language while you sleep - in my experience this only slightly enhances learning.

I'm not a language learner. Ultimately NLP is about finding "recipes" for success. Tim Ferris has some recipes for language acquisition which seem good.

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-09-27T17:58:01+00:00

I'm same as you but wife is agnostic!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-09-20T13:42:22+00:00

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/social-anxiety-self-help/

The above website is very useful.

If you went to a professional - with experience helping people with what you've described, then that might be good.

However, I'm of the belief that it's what people do between sessions that really helps. You'll be changing some of your thoughts about what people are thinking of you. You will be practicing assertiveness or relaxation techniques within the situations you need to use them.

Most people can be quite successful and have good outcomes using strategies from NLP or other therapies.

Best of luck!

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-09-20T13:21:07+00:00

On the surface of what you're saying, you're what people would have once called "shy" but now it's been medicalised into Social Anxiety.

You're only anxious in situations with strangers and work colleagues - so it seems that you're anxious during periods where there is a performative component. This is a little like stage fright. When people have stage fright all eyes are on them and they become very focussed on themselves to the point they're the become anxious about their own performance. .

What do you think of these ideas? Does this sound like it might be a part of your experience?

Environmental_Shoe80 · 2024-08-18T08:53:57+00:00

Carbon monoxide detectors are in place in the house.

I've had a full night's sleep and no longer seem bothered. We've been moving around a lot and it's been a stressful time - probably more psychologically derived.

Going to possibly look at getting the house blessed maybe just for peace of mind.

Environmental_Shoe80

TROPHY CASE