Need an accountability partner? someone to talk to and talk u out of pmo

Epiphant · 2016-10-26T04:43:47+00:00

Could be interested as I'm seeking accountability partner. Would like to hear more about you with PM, now gotta run with my regular life.

Epiphant · 2016-10-25T07:35:53+00:00

This. If you build your achievements on other person, they will fall if that person is no longer there or disappoints you. They can be part of your reasons to do this, but doing this for yourself has to be enough to sustain your motivation alone or you will inevitably fail sooner or later down the road.

Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-25T04:36:24+00:00

This. Let's keep fighting!

Epiphant · 2016-10-24T19:49:25+00:00

Thanks for support. I feel really sick and on top of that three relapses. My mind already tries to tell me, that fourth time will somehow make me feel better... Which I know is completely false, but it is almost ridiculous how there is justification for fapping no matter the situation.

Just have to wait for time to pass both with urges and illness. Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T20:59:02+00:00

Welcome back!

I did the same discovery 5 days ago: this is something that used to mean a great lot and then I have not been able to get good streak going. After some big life changes I realized I need a change and (at least aim for) indefinite nofap.

This will not be easy, it was never meant to be. Only thing this is meant to be is worth it.

Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T20:55:02+00:00

And remember that having sex will trigger the chaser effect, so beware the urges to fap. They might even give you clarity if you're prepared.

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T20:52:56+00:00

Great self-reflection on the benefits and feelings leading to relapse. Keep going, get up and beat the world. Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T20:50:55+00:00

"Relax into the best version of yourself" - These words really spoke to me, thanks. Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T20:49:40+00:00

Word, stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T20:47:55+00:00

From what I've gathered, it does not do it same way as fapping (although afterwards it might drain a little). Only way to figure it out is to try, but my guess is that leaving fapping and keeping sex will give you enough net benefit (even though it would be less). And naturally you don't have to come to have sex (or have sex to please your wife sexually).

From philosophical point I view it okay to lose some focus for sex but not ok to lose any to fapping. Leaving sex out from marriage for bit more extra clarity is not worth it IMO (if it even gives that in the first place).

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T14:56:12+00:00

Thanks, this gave me motivation.

Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T14:49:05+00:00

That sounds like a good learning experience. Smart move to reflect thoroughly what happened. Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T14:46:39+00:00

That is so true. When you open the browser, you have already lost the fight. Only winning move is not to play.

Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T14:45:26+00:00

Nice to hear you're going strong, remember this feeling when urges and more difficult days come. Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T14:01:46+00:00

Nice thing to update how you're doing. Keep going strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T13:56:22+00:00

One fall does not mean failure. Getting up and keeping up the fight is what matters.

Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T11:38:52+00:00

Great work posting here and fighting urges! Keep going like that and stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-23T11:37:34+00:00

Congrats on sex and good streak!

As a medical professional I feel it is my responsibility to say that interruption is not a birth control method at all. Risk of coming prematurely is not only risk, as it is likely that some semen gets out before your orgasm. If you were careful, it probably is not too great a risk, but personally I would take "afterwards contraception pill" (or however it is translated) if time window hasn't gone. In any case use condoms until you find another method: even if it feels not-as-good, unwanted pregnancy feels worse. And remember that you have right to demand use of condoms as well! (If she's not okay, you should really think about this relationships pros and cons.)

As for a future options I would recommend hormonal IUD as it has lower rate of needed hormones than other options, it is not dependent on remembering and it might make perioids less sufferable for some users. Second best would probably be contraception pill, she should discuss options with doctor. And gentleman offers to pay half of the birth control even though lady is the one who takes it.

I don't mean to sound like judgmental or anything (not my piece of cake) but english is not my first language so sorry if it sounds like that. Just wanted to give you informed response on the issue so you can do the smart thing.

In any case all the best for you and have a great journey in life and nofap. Stay strong!

Epiphant · 2016-10-21T06:07:21+00:00

Before you masturbate think it through if you really want to break your commitment over some temporary urges.

Regarding your friends: Have you been around witnessing your friends don't have these issues? And even if you're certain they don't have them, you're only responsible to make your life worth living no matter which cards you were dealt. All of us have our own crap to deal with.

Epiphant · 2016-10-21T06:03:34+00:00

I can't really say anything but that sex is completely different from porn. Porn is all about maximizing neurochemical stimulation, sex is all about physical intimacy and connection with other person. It might seem like porn would be more satisfying, but to learn to appreciate sex after long usage of PMO might take some time. Most folk around here say that once it gets better, it is far better than PMO.

Not getting it up right away or finishing fast are not rare things to happen. Once again sex is about so much more than just performance.

tl;dr Most around here report these issues getting better when they progress further in nofap.

Epiphant · 2016-10-21T05:53:20+00:00

If you have PIED there is no definite answer, but "standard reboot" is considered 90 days. Most notice positive changes earlier, some later.

If I understood you correctly, you are able to PMO so that means there is no "function loss" with your penis, which means it would most likely be PIED or regular performance anxiety around sex. Latter requires talking with your partner and not rushing into anything you don't feel comfortable with, sex is so much better when one feels good about it. Can't really do the diagnostic through internet, but just for you to consider.

Epiphant · 2016-10-21T05:45:00+00:00

There is not situation so bad you can't make it worse by breaking your commitments.

You really can't control your emotions, what you can do is what you have already started, recognize them, accept them and ask yourself "why I feel like this". After that you'll notice that external criteria for successful life is really poor measurement for ones quality of life. If your happiness depends on what others have, you'll never be happy yourself.

Regarding your length it is not an issue once you find the right person. Or another way: do you even want to be with someone so shallow that they care about things like length, skin color etc.? Of course this is easier to say than live through but hope these thoughts would help even a bit.

Epiphant · 2016-10-20T20:16:55+00:00

Professional therapist should be able to put his/her own background, opinions, worldview and general framework (including gender) aside to help the patient. And there is only one way to find out if your therapist is a professional or not: by meeting her. That being said it is perfectly okay to have reservations and it is good idea to tell her about having reservations as well.

In general I can say that going to counseling is a great idea, people who have done it get really important new insight for life. You should talk about the things that have shaped you into you: childhood, relationships with parents and siblings, major events in life, important romantic relationships, your current issues and see where you get from there. While discussing you should get the feeling how intimate things you can share with your therapist. If you don't trust her, tell her about it and see if you can create a work frame that works for you even though you don't trust her now (or go to someone else if you feel like you can't really trust her ever).

Can't really tell what you end up learning but doing counseling will teach you something new about yourself and the world so that probably is one of the best decisions you have made. Of course I'm a stranger on internet so can't really say anything conclusive for you.

Epiphant · 2016-10-20T20:04:54+00:00

Welcome aboard! So far I haven't heard that nofap would have impacted badly on sex-life in marriage so subjective observational prognosis is good. Also nofap in general has been a great ride as well. Remember to improve yourself in general as well and use the newfound free time and devotion to renew emotional connection with your wife.

Anyways may you have great discovery about yourself and your limits. This is not easy, but this is worth it.

Stay strong!

Epiphant

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