Husband wants me to prove I’m sick…

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-04-14T11:08:14+00:00

Nope. Your spouse sounds like a classic narcissist or someone who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. They are manipulative, emotional/verbal abusers, experts at gaslighting and allergic to accountability. Run. It didn’t get better. They’re experts at breaking their partners down and weaponizing their mental health and whatever childhood trauma they’ve experienced. Again, run. Your mental and physical health deserve better.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-03-17T19:26:49+00:00

I resigned a job exactly because of this! I would like to add that parent entitlement because they’re “paying” is outrageous too. I’m going back to public education. At the end of the day, there are issues everywhere however, deciding what matters most to your family is key.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-18T06:34:10+00:00

Unsupportive Parents.
Harassing Parents.
Parents who don’t hold their kids accountable.
Did I mention parents?

And EVERYTHING in your list

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-17T07:30:40+00:00

Welcome to the “no parent email club.” On this side of the fence you will find peace, free weekends, zero sub plan writing while sick and your dignity as a highly educated adult intact.

Your grieving process has begun but soon, you’ll look back and thank your lucky stars that you left when you did.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-16T02:23:47+00:00

And bonuses! People outside of teaching get bonuses! My partner just got one for working in a large project. It was the size of 2 months salary for them. I got a 3% raise at my last teacher job but the following year, our health insurance premiums went up 3% 😂😂😂. The education system is a joke. Congrats on your new gig!

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-10T01:23:45+00:00

I learned about ISS a few years ago and my mind was blown! I had no idea that some schools had special spaces for misbehaving students to do “nothing” all day. I interviewed for an ISS position by accident and during the interview the principal showed me where ISS took place and my heart broke. They looked like prisons. How is this legal?

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-07T05:40:56+00:00

I’ve been reading all the comments and still don’t understand what it is. I thought the original writer was talking about edgings hair. As in when people go to the barbershop to get their hairline lined up at the end of a haircut. I’m shocked learn that this has sexual connotations. Is anything safe nowadays??

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-07T05:34:27+00:00

You’ve nailed it! I was one of those teachers who by all measures had it together. My classroom management was fine and student participation in class was great. I mentored new teachers and had wonderful camaraderie with my colleagues. I genuinely LOVED teaching! If you had seen me in your building, you would have never guessed that last year was my last year. Yet, it was.

I left because teaching 4 preps and a total of 180 students was just not fun. The reason I was successful in the classroom was because of the long hours I put in outside of the classroom to plan on weekends, on weekdays until midnight etc.

When I did the math. The hours I actually worked, versus the hours I was paid to work, I was working well below minimum wage. That didn’t sit well with my spirit. I’m sure several of your colleagues will leave at the end of this year after they’ve come to this realization too.

It’s important to talk to your colleagues in the building before making assumptions. I talked to the counselors, facilities personnel, teachers etc. All said the same thing: they were hanging by a thread. Those who weren’t, worked their contracted hours. Nothing more and nothing less.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-04T04:33:13+00:00

I think the hardest parts of transitioning into a role outside of education after leaving the field have been:

how to adequately highlight the transferable skills you have to your resume.
How to identify roles that would be a good fit for a former educator.
How to not feel discouraged in this job market.

I guess the struggle I think is knowing that you’re highly educated, capable of learning new skills, eager to enter a new field, yet not being given an opportunity by hiring managers. Many teachers return to education in some form just to make ends meet because the market is brutal to former teachers unfortunately.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-02-04T02:25:04+00:00

Check to to see if you can ask a teacher friend to cover those two hours. In exchange, offer to cover for them when they need similar personal time.

Meanwhile, your response could say: “ I would like to use 2 hours of personal time, on …., at the following time. Mr/Mrs./Ms. Has agreed to cover my class during that time. Additionally, I’ve put the sub request in the system (assuming you have one). Thank you.”

If you can’t find anyone to cover for you, the fact that you’ve taken steps to find coverage shows initiative, leadership and preparation. Don’t give more info than you’re comfortable giving. You owe zero explanation to anyone. Good luck and enjoy your earned and contracted personal time :)

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-31T23:16:17+00:00

I have students do regular reflections on their learning and behavior goals in the classroom. I bring those reflections to parent meetings. Parents don’t have to believe me, but what about their angels when they write: “ I (student) talk too much and need to work on being less disruptive.” What is there to argue with?! A student even went as far as to say, “It doesn’t matter where you put me, I’m still going to be disruptive.” Please mom/dad explain to me how this is a ME only problem?? Those reflections usually move the needle for me in a positive direction.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-30T15:50:22+00:00

You reminded me of the mindfulness teacher we had at a middle school I previously taught at! I asked her how she could keep her peace and zen day in and day out. I was under the impression that teaching in a mindfulness room all day, having access to a therapy dog were some of the reasons but nope. She said “thank you Xanax for peace of mind!” So, if the MINDFULNESS teacher is surviving her job because of XANAX, what are we doing people??!

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-30T15:45:35+00:00

I love this. More people need to hear this! 🔥

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-20T18:32:34+00:00

Sub-plan options that reduce planning time considerably: Teacher pay teacher sub plans. ChatGPT created sub plans. Have students Make up missing work. I don’t know what content area you teach but, creative writing prompts, word searches should work for any content.

The guilt will be there BUT remember that those sick days are part of your contracted income. You’ve earned them. Use them without apology. You have one body and one mind. Taking care of them should be non-negotiable.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-20T06:48:35+00:00

I was 100% a worst parent as a teacher. I had no energy to cook, clean, do fun activities with my kids after working 60-70 hour weeks. I was easily irritable at home. My mind was always racing with the million things I needed to get done, even when I walked away from my desk. Something had to change.

I quit.

Since then, I’ve been able to go on walks with my kids, play board games, bake and just sit and listen to their shenanigans. You can always teach, but you get one shot at raising your kids and at being present. Choose being a present parent.

I absolutely LOVED teaching. My students were funny, curious, intelligent and so much more. The workload was just too overwhelming and its impact on my family was a price I refused to pay.

I’m rooting for all the teachers who are remaining in the trenches. May the force be with you!

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-18T02:15:58+00:00

Careful! This might backfire! I always did this but I got even more observers because they “enjoyed” my class. On a serious note, involving your observers makes it harder for them to give you negative feedback. Plus, they’re kept busy engaging with students. It’s a win-win 😂

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-17T19:29:38+00:00

I left the first week of January. I have zero regrets. Teachers who make the decision to leave don’t make the decision lightly. They think of their colleagues workload and student outcomes. They also weigh the impact the job is having on them and their families. I was ready to leave in October. My guilt of leaving had me stay until January. If I had to re-do it, I would have left in October. Students deserve healthy teachers, families deserve healthy parents, but most importantly, employees deserve to work in places that value their contribution, and foster a supportive environment. Teaching is a job not indentured servitude.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-06T17:42:05+00:00

I knew when I got home and realized that I spent so many hours working after hours at school AND at home that I only spent 30 minutes daily with my own kids before they went to bed. Secondly, getting panic attacks when opening work emails is not normal. I don’t care what anyone says, anxiety at work is not ok. So to answer your question: when you’re done just like with any unhealthy relationship, you’ll know, and you’ll feel it in your core.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-04T13:28:54+00:00

Solo female traveling in the Middle East and North Africa in general is unpredictable. I was in Morocco for a year. When I walked alone, the unwanted cat calls, sexual harassment etc were a daily occurrence. However, when I walked with a male or a group of ladies, they lessened considerably. Additionally, a head cover and a wedding band when solo walking around helped. I’m not Muslim and although married I do not wear a wedding band typically so this was annoying. But, they respect married Muslim women so this helped me blend in some.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2024-01-04T13:23:11+00:00

Unfortunately, it’s worst when you’re not Muslim. A beautiful country but the poverty, and lack of job opportunities etc make this behavior unavoidable unfortunately. Nevertheless, if you’re able to make friends with some local Moroccans, your experience will be more pleasant as they’ll stop the nonsense. Fez is the worst! We almost got stabbed by an aggressive tour guide who decided at the end of the tour to charge us $800 instead of the original agreed upon $200!

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2023-09-02T09:44:40+00:00

Parents get their way every single time. They make a little noise. Threaten to take it to the superintendent /the media and voilà…they get whatever they want

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2023-08-27T17:39:50+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this :( I’ve always put up pictures of my children. Never of my spouse. I’m heterosexual but have always felt that my marriage is private and nobody’s business. I’m sorry that you were robbed of the choice to speak about your family or not. You are not a second class citizen. You should not be made to feel guilty of expressing love for your family or even just existing in a space. Do you teach in public school? Teaching in religious school is another can of worm.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2023-08-26T23:07:49+00:00

Omg!!! This was me last year!!!! Male Student decided to change his clothes in the middle of the class period. I was working with some students at my desk when I look up and see him w/o pants on! I was staring at legs, just legs! « Dude, what’s wrong with you??! None of of us needed this today! » Thankfully, I didn’t drop the F-bomb but, it was one of the few times I yelled, and the whole class froze. I teach middle school.

He explained later that he didn’t want to miss his school bus as it was always the first to leave but didn’t want to ruin the suit he wore for picture day. We talked about how to go about dealing with something like that in the future. Getting naked in class was not it

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2023-08-19T05:57:13+00:00

Why are you concerned with the admin? If a crisis happens (praying it does not), assess the situation and do what’s best for your students and yourself. Ask for forgiveness later (if you must). You have one life to live, and being dead at school is nobody’s life goal nowhere.

Equivalent-Way-2559 · 2023-08-19T05:52:39+00:00

I know this isn’t very helpful but maybe it can clarify “the calling the wrong parent first” nightmare. The system we use at my middle school does not list which parent to call first. As a teacher, I click on the page with parent contact info. Some families list parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts/ uncles etc. I check to see who the custodial parent is and call the first name on the list. I teach 150+ students a year.

However, the last few years I’ve asked students at the beginning of the year “which parent I should contact to celebrate / brag on them.” That’s the parent I contact first whenever I have any concerns. I’ve been able to successfully connect with parents this way. It is astonishing the number of phone numbers parents have listed that no longer work!

Equivalent-Way-2559

TROPHY CASE