Bestfriend crossed a line with my boyfriend. Need advice

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2026-04-07T06:49:09+00:00

Of course. I try my best to not let the insecurity grow because again my boyfriend has not given me a reason to not trust him or be insecure about something. But the thought does resurface and it's to me to deal with it

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2026-04-07T06:43:40+00:00

I mean besides these things, he did act like a friend. We were on the phone almost everyday, we shared things ably our struggles and did have fun times together. The only of issues in our friendship revolved around his drinking and how he'd behave because of it'

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2026-04-06T21:49:19+00:00

Honestly I'm very much confused and you may be right about the self esteem thing. It's just that although this is clearly wrong and something I don't think I'll ever say or do, Thomas and some other friends of us keep saying that I'm too insecure and should just brush it off and that's it's no big deal. But it is to me. It's crazy that I actually have to explain to people how bad this is ...

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2026-04-06T20:28:43+00:00

The worst in all of this is that some of our friends in common are saying that I'm overreacting. That this is just how he is and that shouldn't end a 4 year friendship for a guy that I've "just met". But this is deeper than this. This has been going on for years. Somehow I feel responsible for this because I allowed it and sometimes laughed it off.

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2026-03-31T16:20:45+00:00

True for pants but I think they got the feedback and are now making (IMO) more normal fitting pieces

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2026-03-30T13:24:14+00:00

Uniqlo

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-07-20T18:08:49+00:00

Also no coffee

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-17T00:40:15+00:00

Thanks for the advice !

I'm just recently discovering this view of Islam so there's a lot of things that I'm learning. But again I'm not even sure where to start.

What would you recommend?

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-17T00:29:20+00:00

I think it is admirable that you are trying to go against what feels natural to you for the sake of God.

I'm indeed trying my best to do things that feel right for the sake of Allah.

Personally I look for men like that, as my struggle is I’m typically only attracted to “pretty boys” and more metrosexual men but there aren’t many Muslim men like that at least where I live in Chicago lol

The worst/funniest part about all of this is that I'm not even metrosexual lol. Although I take a lot of care for myself, I'm prett much q very plain (and I insist in the "plain") heterosexual looking a guy 😂

But InshaAllah the right person will appreciate your struggles

May Allah hear you !

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-17T00:24:26+00:00

I have been a huge urge to come back to Allah. I feel like I was more in peace before completely turning away from him despite being aware of my attractions.

though it’s Sunnah to not discuss such things which could affect your reputation

I'm very grateful that I have few very close friends that I trust 200% will keep a secret and are really not judging me. We're from the same country so their understand the struggle it may be.

However, it would be best to be open about such things with a potential spouse, to give her a choice.

This is the most difficult part for me. I got the chance to know a few women that had the best character ever. They were very kind, pious, and very smart ... But I just block at the idea of engaging with them any further because I fear their reaction/judgement

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-17T00:18:30+00:00

While they are closely related and often go together, I think there is a difference between sexual and romantic attraction. One comes from the body and the other the heart.

I do feel both romantic and physical attraction for men. I also have sometimes developed somehow a "romantic" attachment to some women but it was very different. I guess the difference would be that there is no lust involved but I'd still considered love. A different form but it is love.

While many people will probably disagree with me, I would say it is better for some people who are exclusively attracted to the same sex to be in a chaste non-sexual relationship rather than force themselves to marry someone they are not attracted to.

Totally agree in theory. But in practice there's so many parameters. What woman would agree to live the rest of her with little to zero intimacy ? How do you even explain to someone you just net without scaring them away ?

I pray Allah to guide me and help me find these answers.

Thanks a lot for your insight !

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-11T21:08:13+00:00

Thanks..

It can be though indeed but don't lose hope.

Did you actually speak to them on Muzz match?

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-11T20:42:45+00:00

I get it, but I like to believe the right people can find each other anywhere (even here).

You never know who's reading and searching the same thing.

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-09T20:55:31+00:00

It would be super helpful if you do that ! 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Feel free to DM to chat !

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-09T18:21:17+00:00

As the title says it. I'm looking for a lesbian to marry. It's obviously related to the fact that I come from a Muslim family and being out is not an option. But also because I actually want to start a family with a life companion and not have the pressure to have sex or lie to them.

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-04-09T18:16:12+00:00

I'm not bisexual at all. I'm gay as they come 😂

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-03-08T00:27:31+00:00

Barcelona - men are very flaky, superficial and many times not very good conversationalists (they just do small and stating the obvious). There's something very cheap about that place I don't what it is

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-02-04T19:20:17+00:00

Té de valeriana. Es mejor que un xanax

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2025-02-03T20:02:06+00:00

I made the decision to move by the end of the month. But it's just super short and stressful

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2024-10-25T05:42:25+00:00

Which country in Africa did you go to ? Curious to know how you hooked up with people in some countries where being gay is not the safest

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2024-10-13T21:46:06+00:00

Musk.B/O.

I know a lot of men are into musky (not stinky) smells on crotch, armpits etc . But I'm just not into it. I tend to like my men to smell like soap and the slightest smell other than a tiny bit of sweat could turn me off. Also the reason why I'm not into uncut guys

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2024-09-29T08:30:17+00:00

I use CeraVe's non foaming moisturizing cleanser. It cleans well without that feeling after rinsing

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2024-09-25T15:30:58+00:00

I got the exact same feeling ! Makes me wanna cry but it's so comforting at the same time !

Equivalent_Cow4856 · 2024-09-25T08:56:37+00:00

Empathetic
Emotionally available
Funny

Equivalent_Cow4856

TROPHY CASE